Venting Still here

[Endstati0n]

I remeber when i was 14 i started to understand what death is and since then i wanted to die. I'm 29 now and nothing changed. I have 2 serious attempts but i'm still here unfortunately. 15 years of wanting to die. That's just crazy.

It's really tormenting. Also the fact that while i'm suffering so much, i have to see others enjoying life. These people are the closest thing to aliens there is to me. It makes me hate people so much, especially little kids who have a loving intact family and thus have a chance to become a happy or atleast competent adult.

But instead of treating people like me with patience and understanding, we get treated like trash.

Idk man, if i dont kill myself i think i'll just explode and shoot up a KFC.

 

[discernment]

I'm sorry that you've had to carry this for 15 years, I can see why you would feel alienated from everything else when you've been living like this for so long. I also don't have any support from my family and I do feel resentful towards other people who do have that because I feel like I am expected to function in the world without even the most basic support network. Its hard to see people feeling happy and secure when i've never had access to that myself. Its exhausting