DynahWAY
Lonely!
- Oct 18, 2024
- 8
I've 'attempted' to CTB a number of ways. Obviously, I've been unsuccessful. Strangulation, overdosing, and jumping. Each and every time, I was stopped. Of course. I was in the military. Plus, I didn't want to die. I wanted attention. I loved being stopped. I love being cared about.
Now I'm out of the military and I have limited resources. I'm so upset 'cause I could've easily got my hand on a rifle, but I squandered the opportunity.
I know I may not come across as genuine, but now, I want to die. I really, really want to die. The attention has been replaced with resentment and, honestly, I deserve it. I'm embarrassed to be alive.
I bet it's obvious, but I'm pretty insecure. One thing I'm insecure about is my body, specifically my weight. I've been told I'm fat, but I'd disagree. I think I weigh between 160-180lb. While I wouldn't say I'm fat, I have fat on me.
I'm pretty sure I won't die by starving myself, but I hope it'll make ending my life a little easier. It is a method I haven't gone all the way with before (I've gone a day without eating, but that's it.), so let's see.
Now I'm out of the military and I have limited resources. I'm so upset 'cause I could've easily got my hand on a rifle, but I squandered the opportunity.
I know I may not come across as genuine, but now, I want to die. I really, really want to die. The attention has been replaced with resentment and, honestly, I deserve it. I'm embarrassed to be alive.
I bet it's obvious, but I'm pretty insecure. One thing I'm insecure about is my body, specifically my weight. I've been told I'm fat, but I'd disagree. I think I weigh between 160-180lb. While I wouldn't say I'm fat, I have fat on me.
I'm pretty sure I won't die by starving myself, but I hope it'll make ending my life a little easier. It is a method I haven't gone all the way with before (I've gone a day without eating, but that's it.), so let's see.
