Help Planning to ctb soon, looking for a method to overcome SI

[yui.]

I have a couple of plans in mind for how I will ctb. I want to do it soon, but my biggest challenge is SI. I read that people are able to suppress SI to a certain degree through practice and training (especially in law enforcement and the military), but what do people do specifically to overcome a natural fear of death?

Two of the more reliable plans on my list include:

1. Shooting myself in the head with a rifle (Will take a bit more time because I need to apply for a permit and then purchase the rifle and ammo)

2. Injecting myself with otc insulin (Novolin R) - I am fairly certain that I will not be found until 12 hours after the time of injection

I am leaning towards option 1 and was wondering if anyone has any advice on how I can build the courage to actually pull the trigger. I don't have any experience with firearms, but I don't know if I should try to get used to the feeling of using a firearm. I'm afraid that if I do get used to using a rifle, I'll grow even more fearful of pointing it towards myself.

I appreciate any kind of advice whether it's overcoming SI in general or advice targeted towards the methods I have mentioned above. If anyone has experience with people who were able to ctb in the past with similar methods, please do share your story with us if you feel comfortable doing so.

Thank you, and I hope we all find our own peace soon.