Venting Sorry for not decentering romance enough, I guess

[jenny6391bubbles]

I always find it so frustrating when well-intentioned friends tell me to not do things for people I've had a crush on and that I should do things for myself. I already do things for myself -- therapy, dance classes, journaling, art, music (occasionally), going to concerts. The small occasion I do something for someone that I like, people see me as mentally unwell. I am not exactly expecting my feelings to be reciprocated but I just want to show my appreciation for them (without necessarily confessing to them).

An ex-friend thought I was insane for not having a period longer than a month where I had no crush. And I thought I was insane for several months, until my mother told me she was like that at my age. I kind of feel like a lot of my friends do not understand the pain I go through fully (it doesn't help a lot of them are on the acearo spectrum). Luckily, there's at least ONE friend that empathizes with me and goes through the same things as I. It feels so fucking isolating and I hate it! I can only hope therapy makes me really better after 5-10 years.

 

[4colliez]

I'm similar. I place a lot of importance in romantic relationships, often before things are ever official. That's not to say I don't do things for myself or enjoy hobbies or spend quality time with my friends. But they really don't understand how much I love and how hard it is not to put that person first. I'm often seen as being mentally unwell because I want to stay with someone despite things being rocky, when they would've given up a long time ago. My friends telling me I'm making a mistake and not taking care of myself is so painful in itself.

I don't know, I think there's nothing wrong with wanting to give love and wanting to get that love back. Doing nice things for someone without expecting anything in return is real kindness, but unfortunately sometimes it just hurts

 

[Aloneandinpain]

it's nice that you do things for people.