Venting Sometimes it gets a bit better, but it always gets worse

[Depressed&Stressed]

To begin, I am in my twenties. I have struggled with suicidality since before I had words for what it was. I started using this website during a really awful breakup last year and found good community here and was eventually convinced by my family to go to a long-term treatment facility and had a lot of hope for my future. Well, "long-term" apparently meant thirty days, plus another thirty if you literally fought for every week. So I got a total of sixty days to treat over a decade of treatment-resistant depression, chronic loneliness, and suicidality (along with ADHD, autism, and borderline, to boot). The program basically gave up on me. I haven't done much therapy since and haven't been very enthusiastic about trying, to be honest. I'm very avoidant of it, it all just feels so overwhelming and so useless. After I was released form the therapy place early last fall, I was single for a little bit before getting on a dating app and meeting someone and falling genuinely in love with her. I love her so much. For once I was thinking about life differently, really seeing a future, thinking about my safety. I was growing, it was all so new. I wasn't suddenly stable, the suicidality was still there and in the end I did still attempt at one point, and now months after that event for different reasons that are somewhat unclear to me she's told me she doesn't want to be my partner or friend. A lot of stuff she said to me previously was deliberate lying. I'm devastated. I'm so tired. I need to stop hurting. I've reached out to family members and friends and it's been reinforced to me that my whole world is as overwhelmed as I am and unable to help me in the way that I need as everyone has already been doing something else. Work, date with a girlfriend, sleep, etc. It's fine. These people all know I've been suicidal my whole life. I've been broken up with before. They're all so alarm fatigued. How are they supposed to know if this is the one?