Webcore
Unresolved Emotional Everything
- Mar 4, 2026
- 42
I'm someone whose always struggled with things like having a low sense of empathy. I'm selfish, I hardly care at all about other people. Its a chore to care for others, and when someones upset by something I've done or said I'm just annoyed by it. People can be so fucking whiny and sensitive and it pisses me off that they expect me to care or bend over backwards for their forgiveness. I've burnt a few friendships being that way.
It may be sociopathy, or its just autism but over all its definitely something wrong with me.
I've also struggled with depression, wanting to off myself, wanting to leave this world and people behind. For the longest time, I thought that was what created my apathy. Being depressed! I've been medicated since middleschool, on and off again, and while I'm not anxious Im still this cruel apathetic asshole.
So it wasn't the depression, actually I might have been better depressed.
That way, I hardly spoke up, hardly challenged others or left my room. I was just better to be around, more agreeable. The real me, the medicated me is awful. It wasn't the depression that made me a shitty person, it's just me that makes me the shitty person. The worst feeling is that I would be better to people if I wasn't on my meds. At the moment, the feelings I have towards suicide lean less in favor that the world would be better off without me and more that I just want to kill myself out of pure spite because of people who fucking annoy me.
My job, my parents, my so called friends. Just makes me want to paint my brain matter all over the walls where they can all see and for once think about what they say to me.
Obviously, none of this is okay. These arent normal thoughts to have, but theyre the thoughts I have, and I think I just need to be better about fooling myself into caring. I'm not going off my meds, god knows that will get me into so much more trouble. I'm not quite sure where or how to post this. Obviously, I'm not putting this anywhere else where people would freak out on me. So, might as well put it on here.
God bless or whatever
It may be sociopathy, or its just autism but over all its definitely something wrong with me.
I've also struggled with depression, wanting to off myself, wanting to leave this world and people behind. For the longest time, I thought that was what created my apathy. Being depressed! I've been medicated since middleschool, on and off again, and while I'm not anxious Im still this cruel apathetic asshole.
So it wasn't the depression, actually I might have been better depressed.
That way, I hardly spoke up, hardly challenged others or left my room. I was just better to be around, more agreeable. The real me, the medicated me is awful. It wasn't the depression that made me a shitty person, it's just me that makes me the shitty person. The worst feeling is that I would be better to people if I wasn't on my meds. At the moment, the feelings I have towards suicide lean less in favor that the world would be better off without me and more that I just want to kill myself out of pure spite because of people who fucking annoy me.
My job, my parents, my so called friends. Just makes me want to paint my brain matter all over the walls where they can all see and for once think about what they say to me.
Obviously, none of this is okay. These arent normal thoughts to have, but theyre the thoughts I have, and I think I just need to be better about fooling myself into caring. I'm not going off my meds, god knows that will get me into so much more trouble. I'm not quite sure where or how to post this. Obviously, I'm not putting this anywhere else where people would freak out on me. So, might as well put it on here.
God bless or whatever
