Its been a while since I've been active. I've been working a shitty dead end job for 2 years now. Trying to find a new one with a fucking college degree but nothing has turned up. College felt like a waste of time. I would do 4 years in military (original plan), but my medical history prevents me from doing so... I feel like there is nothing I can do anymore. So burnt out of life that I just want to stay in my bed and rot away on my days off instead of doing literally any of my hobbies or hanging out with my friends. My brain is telling me to just end it all already. I am holding back tears writing this, because I feel like a fucking failure in life. I envy my friends and family members who are more successful than me so fucking much. Even the ones who are just a tad more successful. Why won't God take me yet? Am I here just because he wants me to be depressed as shit and constantly suffer? Having thoughts of driving my car off a bridge and not getting out of it.
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