Sometimes I See A Glimmer Of Hope

[EndItPlsGirl]

Sometimes I start to see, through my mania, a glimmer of hope. Like somehow it will work out. I could continue with my Tarot School/Reading LiveStream. But then it fades away and I'm left once again with wanting to just end it. I'm left with hopelessness and despair every second of the day.

2 days ago I thought my depression was over. I was fully functioning. I was doing my LiveStream. I had a job. I was happy. But then it faded away and my bipolar went back to depression. I cried. I was hysterically crying. I thought the nightmare was over and it turned out my happiness wasn't real and it was like everything was torn away from me again.

I JUST WANT THE PAIN TO STOP. PLEASE LET THE PAIN STOP!!!!!!!!!!

 

[rainy.tears]

I'm so sorry that the period of feeling better and the hope it brought with it didn't last. That must be so painful :(. I also had a period of hypomania where I felt like most of my issues were fixed and it was so painful going back into the depression and despair afterwards. It's like for that period I remembered what it's like to be a healthy person who enjoys life and then it was all taken away from me and I was back in this hell.

I hope you feel some relief soon