Its easy to give advice but first of all id get to the root of why you are so miserable and why you dont want to live. We arent born that way, but things happen that make us that way. Suicide is a selfish act because it obviouslyleavees a trail of devastation. HOwever when you are desperate you dont consider that
and as for how poeple treat you, you cannot take things at face value,. |People may appear to love you and be kind and in actual fact they are helping you create your own prison. IM nearly 50 i have experienced a lot and i think i know what im talking about. I live in a house which is mine- my name is on the title deeds. However i have a mother and so called stepfather who control everything because i am relieant on them finanically. They carried out renovation work in my house that i did not want but at the time i was so ill i couldnt stand up to them. Now my house is smaller by two rooms and its only a two bedroom one level anyway. My answer is passive agressio. I am alloowing my house to become squalid, and i am ensuring my mother ( who is a master of looking the other way and avoiding cognitive dissonance) sees this happen. If i have to descend into hell i am deermined to take her with me. Can you imagine getting to a stage where you have to call your own parent by their first name because you cant bear to refer to them as a parent. What brings you to that? If it were merely a matter of everyone being kind all the time then life would be a million times simpler. It just isnt like that