Self harm

[Spoon_Selfharms]

Hello , I'm new here and I like talking about self harm
I'm curious, when y'all self harmed for the first time what was the reason behind it ?

 

[ph4zzzy]

The first time was honestly for attention, but over time I found more reason to do so.

 

[SatouR]

Started self harming about 4-5 years ago.
Did it to cope with mental problems.
I have times where i self harm daily.
Usually just cutting but i started burning a couple days ago.

 

[Spoon_Selfharms]

Story time :
For context at college I don't hide my arms when they're healed

A Guy in my class asked what was that on my arm, my friend answered for me, that It was Self harm. And the guy just looked at me confused and said " What's self harm? " I started laughing and had to explain that I did this to myself over the years cuz I hate myself and have absolutely no healthy coping mechanisms cuz he didn't understand

Started self harming about 4-5 years ago.
Did it to cope with mental problems.
I have times where i self harm daily.
Usually just cutting but i started burning a couple days ago.

I tried burning before but didn't like it, how's that going for you

 

[Undertow Mermaid]

I don't wear shorts, or skirts anymore without tights due to my thighs being pasty pale so the SH scars are on full display. Summer sucks but I'd rather not hear my mother once more tut softly to herself before saying "I wish you wouldn't do that to yourself..."

Yeah mom, so do I.

 

[szk]

I started 2 years ago, I do it because I'm ashamed of myself and I want to bleed.

 

[peachchildtenshi]

self harmed for attention, but found all the more reasons to do so.
it sucks though, not because it hurts, but it heals quicker than ever before.
everything is my fault.

 

[Scythe]

I started when I'm 12, did it for fun, wanted to see blood and liked the scar aethetic. I quit for 3 years Then when I'm 15 I started doing it for pain and as a punishment for being a nothing more than a pile of bile crawling on the ground. Kept the habit up, I still sometimes cut patterns onto myself so it leaves a cool scar. But the main reason now is to punish myself for not killing myself yet.

 

[annxietty]

Started when I was 17 ,I was in an even deeper hell that the one Im in at the moment, couldnt see my mom, lost all my friends, and I was stuck with my dad who was too busy going out with his girlfriend, just remembering those moments make me have an anxiety attack, all the psychological abuse (sometimes physical) I endured... eventually I discovered self harm and It was so amazing, seeing the blood, feeling the pain... Ive never had people confront me about my scars (kept doing sh until like a month ago) but my sister has seen some scars, my dad saw the wounds but I lied and he chose to believe my bad lie, and I confessed to my mom that I did self harm but she never saw it... my psychologist was so surprised my dad never confronted me, I had moments were my arms were all bloody and completely full of wounds... so I dont do it for attention thats for sure, is just addicting and once in a while you discover a new method and it feels so good, not the pain for me its the aftermath, better than any medication...

 

[SatouR]

I tried burning before but didn't like it, how's that going for you

Doing it daily since tuesday i like it.
Tried cutting over a fresh burn wound an hour ago which felt amazing.
The pain from burning is nice but i love bleeding so i think i'll just do both.

 

[YEAR2050]

i started by scratching my arms with a thumbtack lol. i did it to validate my own emotions to myself if that makes sense. i often thought that i was making a bigger deal out of the situation than it actually was, so if i "cut" myself, then my emotions would be justified somehow. doesnt really makes sense when i look back at it now. everytime i self harmed i would scratch harder and harder, eventually bleeding, then switching to a pocket knife, which i still use to this day. at some point down the road i started burning my arm with cigarettes. i still do it from time to time if i can be bothered with smoking. it feels almost euphoric and i like how the circles it leaves look

 

[Netvor]

Hello , I'm new here and I like talking about self harm
I'm curious, when y'all self harmed for the first time what was the reason behind it ?

I started 5 years ago
I did it just out of curiosity to try and find out why it's done in the first place

I kept doing it because I've went through so many hardships a, nd i had to cope
I cared about the look of my arm before committing to a suicide plan but now i don't

My left arm looks like a bar code but i made sure i only harm 1 arm so i could always see the difference in how my life has changed over the years comparing my clear and clean right arm with my barcoded lookin left arm

 

[Spoon_Selfharms]

I started self harming when I was 12, at first it was because my mom had discovered something I did that I was really ashamed and I saw ytb videos of like (basically people romanticizing self harm) so I tried it and have been doing it for almost 7 year as a way to prove to myself I'm not okay and that I'm not faking not being okay

 

[numbhouse]

I have been cutting since I was 11/12 I think. First time I did it was in Study Hall where me and a friend had been making fun of Harry Potter fan fiction and "Emo" culture and I jokingly did it with the blade from her Pencil Sharpener. I got hooked on doing it on my wrists within months, not knowing how to really hide it and I ended up getting caught and sent to the psych ward for it more than once. I ended up doing it with everything I could get my hands on too, be it stolen scissors or badge-pin backings. If I recall correctly I think I even attempted to do it with a sharp rock WHILE I was at the mental hospital which was just about the stupidest decision I'd ever made.
I went clean for a while until about the age of 17, only God knows how because I was pretty addicted, and of course since I knew at this point how/where to hide it I moved from my wrists to my thighs and have been doing it semi-consistantly since. I used to do it only at my lowest points but nowadays I just do it whenever. Sometimes I do worry that someone will feel a scar through my pant-leg somehow but it's easier to get away with when you're older I guess. But it doesn't help that life's been rough in general and no one who previously claimed to care so much about your mental health pays any mind to you at all, let alone when it comes to that sort of thing.

 

[Spoon_Selfharms]

I have been cutting since I was 11/12 I think. First time I did it was in Study Hall where me and a friend had been making fun of Harry Potter fan fiction and "Emo" culture and I jokingly did it with the blade from her Pencil Sharpener. I got hooked on doing it on my wrists within months, not knowing how to really hide it and I ended up getting caught and sent to the psych ward for it more than once. I ended up doing it with everything I could get my hands on too, be it stolen scissors or badge-pin backings. If I recall correctly I think I even attempted to do it with a sharp rock WHILE I was at the mental hospital which was just about the stupidest decision I'd ever made.
I went clean for a while until about the age of 17, only God knows how because I was pretty addicted, and of course since I knew at this point how/where to hide it I moved from my wrists to my thighs and have been doing it semi-consistantly since. I used to do it only at my lowest points but nowadays I just do it whenever. Sometimes I do worry that someone will feel a scar through my pant-leg somehow but it's easier to get away with when you're older I guess. But it doesn't help that life's been rough in general and no one who previously claimed to care so much about your mental health pays any mind to you at all, let alone when it comes to that sort of thing.

OMG the rock! I did that too but I was in a parking lot with some questionable "friends"

 

[CloudyNight]

I don't cut but sometimes I find myself pinching myself but I also picked up burning my first time was just to feel something but I'm trying to stop though

 

[scamper]

I don't really remember why I self-harmed the first time, but most recently I've found it calms me down if I'm panicking or worrying about something, and I'm not sure why. I usually cut but I like the sight of my blood more than I like the physical pain that comes with it.

I haven't self-harmed in months now and I always regretted it when I had to hide the scars for months after I did it. I don't see myself ever doing it again.

 

[willitpass]

I've been doing it since I was 10. Id heard about it from the internet and was really struggling mentally so I tried it to see if it would help like people said it did. I've been doing it on and off ever since. I do it for the endorphin release, it helps calm me down temporarily when I'm really keyed up. Though I have taken it to the extreme a few times, attempting to amputate limbs and such. Usually I just cut or pinch.

 

[soledad.virgen]

As a teen I occasionally pulled my hair or bruised my legs, but I started cutting three years ago when I hit my 20s. It's really corny but I liked the aesthetic of it. A friend of mine showed me a picture of a girl with a really bloody cut on her thigh and it stuck with me. Girls with bloodied up legs or clothes are so visually striking. I think it's the red that does it for me since it's already my favorite color lol. I started cutting to chase that look myself and I found that it feels relieving to a degree. It hurts like hell but I deserve it and there's something so intoxicating to it. There's a thrill and satisfaction unlike anything sexual or drug induced. I've ruined so much clothes but I'm not gonna stop until I die.

 

[silent star]

First time was in 2017 I was angry and disgusted at myself for feeling the way I did/do, ever since and I've just been in a downward spiral

 

[purity]

started about a year ago. im kinda clean now. started cuz i didn't know how to cope with my life and i just wanted to hurt myself.

 

[acerace]

I started a 4 years ago when I found out about cutting in the psych ward. It's a way to release the pain and stop thinking. I like watching the blood run.

 

[jazzcat]

I started doing it rather late, in my mid-twenties, I was having a very hard time dissociating and having panic attacks and one day I felt so desperate that I gave it a try, I just wanted to stop thinking bad thoughts

 

[BlackNails]

I sat, ready with blade in hand, on the side of the bath, and thought to myself "No sane person would do this, no-one simply looking for attention or over exaggerating would do this to themselves", then I sat, and sat, and did it, and for the first, only and last time, I felt like "Wow something is actually wrong with me" then immediately went back to, nah you are just looking for attention, by yeeting my thigh, that no one will ever see, in the privacy and isolation of my own home ... well done brain

 

[Eriktf]

have done a bit of self-harm over the years but never really got anything out of it, the first few times it was just to test it, never did it for attention or anything and probably won't self-harm again

 

[(¥)]

hardships. two years counting.

 

[magician99]

I started sh 10 years ago with a pocket knife because I had no other way to deal with the emotional distress I've been in due to the abuse of my parents at home and bullies at school.

I've then switched over to razor blades a few years ago because I wanted to bleed more and quicker.

 

[(¥)]

are there anyone using serated blades? plan to try soon. not safe but i have nothing else.

 

[feder]

I started a 4 years ago when I found out about cutting in the psych ward. It's a way to release the pain and stop thinking. I like watching the blood run.

As weird as it sounds watching your own blood run is oddly calming. Stops any anxiety or panic immediately for me. Really helps with sort of "resetting" the brain, most of the suicidal thoughts go away after that.

 

[Asingletwig]

As weird as it sounds watching your own blood run is oddly calming. Stops any anxiety or panic immediately for me. Really helps with sort of "resetting" the brain, most of the suicidal thoughts go away after that.

its a weird coping mechanism. Its like you focus on the blood flowing and push the ctb thoughts to the backfront while you then have to clean and dress it