Siblings that get along together feel strange to me

[noname223]

In the new self-help group there were two siblings. An autistic young man and his highly gifted sister. She accompanied him to support him. She says she feels neurodivergent too. She seems interesting to me.

Seeing supportive siblings makes me feel alienated. My sister reacts so shitty to my autism. She doesn't understand me at all. And honestly I don't want to spend time with her. I think I am very different to my sister. I don't like myself. But at least I am not like my sister.


I could never imagine my sister went with me to a self-help group just to support me. That's unimaginable. My sister's reactions to the abuse of my mom made me speechless. I should have hit my mom back if it bothered me this much. Like WTF.

What about you?

 

[Always-in-trouble]

My and my sis don't actually talk all that much too each other. Our relationship might become worse if we did speak more tbh.

Also doesn't help that my sis might have autism with me and does not hate me unlike yours which just hates you for your autism... why is your sis like this?

 

[noname223]

My and my sis don't actually talk all that much too each other. Our relationship might become worse if we did speak more tbh.

Also doesn't help that my sis might have autism with me and does not hate me unlike yours which just hates you for your autism... why is your sis like this?

My sister says we should be thankful for our parents. There are worse parents out there. Sorry but getting beaten up from 5 to 15 almost on a daily basis isn't close to doing a good job. I think she is in less pain than me. And I think she doesn't really make the connection between her childhood and her current mental condition. Moreover, I think she has low empathy...

 

[RememberingJade]

My brother and I have an amazing relationship, however I believe it's because during our childhood it was always us vs the parents and never anything different. Growing up I had a narcissistic father and a birdbrained alcoholic mother (both becoming parents at the age of 17). My whole life It's been instilled in me that everything I do is for him simply because I believe he is everything I am not. From the day he was born I was my father's confidant I was never a child, my brother was. I raised him alongside my father, and I make sure he gets the therapy he needs, take him to social events and I go outdooring with him. I lived a life for him and will continue so he will never know an inkling of struggle I have faced for him. It takes a lot of love but it all stemmed from the shared abuse. He knows I am a paranoid schizophrenic alongside being an aspie, and he takes no issue with it; at most he will only make playful jokes about it. Understanding goes both ways I'd like to believe.

 

[miekorevvv]

tbh for me my family is devised like my dad is abusive so me and my mom are against him but he is the rich one and very greedy here and last year he was supposed to pay for my studies abroad because i am from a 3rd world country and unis are so corrupt and bad here a,d anyone with a bit of money does this to their childiren but he didnt wanted to pay and made the excuse that im not good and not tough enough and ended up to prove this abusing me for 3 months then forcing me to study here for the last year which eventally made my mom resent him more they already hate each other since 2011 and absolutely despite each other since 2018 so my dad started overspoiling my younger brother in order to buy him and this way he started telling him that im a loser i am the reason why they might divorce im the reason why the family is ruined etc and also made him believe he is better then me in every aspect and eventually making him go against our mom too and now me and my brother literally distance from each other im sure he hates me and resents me thinking im the reason for all of this he even went of his way telling some ppl this but for me i see him as young and manipulated for the moment and cannot hold him accountable and literally now whenever he talks with me he talks with me as if im unwanted/inferior/loser and always putting the blame on me for any minor issue
and yes i cant stand seeing a normal fuctioning family without being too surprised let alone siblings that get along

 

[Always-in-trouble]

My sister says we should be thankful for our parents. There are worse parents out there. Sorry but getting beaten up from 5 to 15 almost on a daily basis isn't close to doing a good job. I think she is in less pain than me. And I think she doesn't really make the connection between her childhood and her current mental condition. Moreover, I think she has low empathy...

Really dismissive of a sister. Hopefully you don't interact with her too much nowadays.

 

[StupiderJuniper]

god yeah this so much. my parents have done so much to me, and their most recent transgression being threatening to literally kill me or send me somewhere to be killed because i'm trans, and my older sister just believes its an overreaction and they are just a bit "stressed". i'm cutting her out of my life the moment i can, but i already barely talk to her or the rest of them. my other sibling is also a miserable piece of work, never listened to anything and would make situations worse. somehow most of my friends have siblings and families who have their shit together which doesn't help with my jealousy

 

[To_bareTo_tear]

Nah Ur real for this fr fr, my entire life my two older siblings have always gotten along really well, I mean I've seen them cry to eachother, play games watch movies together without even having to ask the day before or do it on a schedule, it felt like a fucking psyop to spefically make me envious because I have never been able to talk to one of them like that. it's crazy because when I do vent to them, they don't try to deny my feelings but then they throw it out the window by telling me "in life you have to turn the other cheek" and listing a bunch of things i have to be grateful about but when they vent to me they want me to say "yeah that sucks" without me trying to "pry into their lives".
I don't know they seem to seriously take the idea of "being an elder" and having to "guide me" so maybe they just refuse to engage with me in a manner that sees me as a person. Not even sure if it counts as saying ignorance is bliss because by the way they talk about things they got "disciplined"(hit) by my parents way more so maybe it's also literally learned helplessness. Either way I just don't understand it.

 

[lastappleonearth]

In the new self-help group there were two siblings. An autistic young man and his highly gifted sister. She accompanied him to support him. She says she feels neurodivergent too. She seems interesting to me.

Seeing supportive siblings makes me feel alienated. My sister reacts so shitty to my autism. She doesn't understand me at all. And honestly I don't want to spend time with her. I think I am very different to my sister. I don't like myself. But at least I am not like my sister.


I could never imagine my sister went with me to a self-help group just to support me. That's unimaginable. My sister's reactions to the abuse of my mom made me speechless. I should have hit my mom back if it bothered me this much. Like WTF.

What about you?

Idk, a lot of sibling don't get along at all an some are not even in contact with each other anymore. My mom and my sister haven't been speaking for years. I have two siblings and so far I get along with them quite well, but mby that's bcs they're still quite young idk, the oldest is almost 13

 

[Preh1storic_Rib]

My brother and I have an amazing relationship, however I believe it's because during our childhood it was always us vs the parents and never anything different.

I would say I am in a similar situation. Siblings who do not get along or care for eachother at even a base level make me feel odd.

My mother admitted to having my younger sibling for me. And from the moment they were born I took care of them. We have a good (if likely unhealithy codependant) relationship now. But I know at one point in their early childhood they hated me. I don't remember enough from then to understand why really. Sometimes I wonder if it's the fact that I had to make all the rules for them which stirred resentment. And at the same time I was the one calming them from panic attacks and teaching them how to stay safe in our home, someone they probably didn't want to feel vulnerable around but they had to.

Weirdly, I have an older sister I am not close to, who I do not particularly care for. She raised me a bit, but our age gap was too wide and she left the house before I was old enough to remember most of it. I had the realization some years ago that she thinks of us completely different than I do. She wanted to get a tattoo in reference to me and it struck me so completely off guard. That she has memories I don't which makes her think of us as close and not just someone I know.
I felt guilty at that, but I still don't really have a desire to connect with her. At least not as she is now, she internalized a lot of things from our childhood. And is also just racist and fetishizing anytime to talk to her for longer than a few hours.

So it's odd to me when siblings don't get along, but I guess I don't either. Maybe I just don't consider her my sister enough, as horrible as that feels to say.

 

[Pluto]