feder

feder

I'm more scarred more scarred than my wrist is.
Apr 13, 2023
162
its a weird coping mechanism. Its like you focus on the blood flowing and push the ctb thoughts to the backfront while you then have to clean and dress it
Yea it also helps with self hatred, since it's kind of self punishment. Definitely not healthy but it works. Only problem are the scars after, I don't feel comfortable looking at them or other ppl seeing them. Maybe that's just me though.
 
marsthemoosh

marsthemoosh

Member
Apr 29, 2023
9
i started when i was 13 I did it because I thought that i deserved it and i had also heard my friends say something about it releasing a chemical in your body that helps you calm down.
 
F

ForsakenDial

Student
Aug 20, 2021
178
everyone kept hurting me, i decided i would hurt myself too because for once it wasnt some else doing it and i deserved it, i still do
 
Quetzalcoatl

Quetzalcoatl

Monarch
Jun 14, 2023
8
Hello , I'm new here and I like talking about self harm
I'm curious, when y'all self harmed for the first time what was the reason behind it ?
I'd heard about it from some friends who cut, they said it was a good way to get rid of stress. I got addicted to it almost immediately. I see it like art kinda like tattoos
 
Anonymoususer1234

Anonymoususer1234

Experienced
Apr 13, 2023
214
Hello , I'm new here and I like talking about self harm
I'm curious, when y'all self harmed for the first time what was the reason behind it ?
I was like 15ish. I'm not sure why I did it. I was feeling numb or depressed or angry or something, I think it had to do with my parents. I dunno, I just couldn't couldn't get myself to feel "normal."

In a last, ditch effort I clawed at my skin with my nails until it bled. It was cathartic. In a single moment all the fuzz cleared from my brain and I was able to focus again.

I knew that what I had done was bad but it had felt so damn good. I liked hurting myself. I wasn't going to be able to go back.

After that, it wasn't long until I started looking into how to cut myself. All downhill from there, really.
 
FormerlyFe(IV)

FormerlyFe(IV)

Snapped.
Jun 27, 2023
419
When I got super stressed, especially with video games, I would let my anger flow and break things.

During the pandemic, I got super bad with my tolerance to anger/anxiety and starting having fits again, except with myself.
I would bite hard the top of my right hand's wrist. Multiple times.
My skin was brown because of the constant scarring. It also became thick.

I only stopped recently. Trying to hide bite marks or dismissing them as a "blemish" with then-coworkers was awkward.
Now the skin mostly went back to its original color, but it's still thicker than the other wrist.
 
ElectronicPoet

ElectronicPoet

Member
Aug 22, 2023
28
Hello , I'm new here and I like talking about self harm
I'm curious, when y'all self harmed for the first time what was the reason behind it ?
I actually don't think I had a specific reason. As far as I can remember, I was digging through my closet and broke a miniature/decorative porcelain tea set and when I picked up a shard I realized I finally had something to use for self harm. It felt like a sign. I cut myself then and there. I didn't have any reason at the moment to do so, but I was heavily depressed in general at the time and was constantly suffering even with nothing specific going on.
 
TheShadowKing

TheShadowKing

≽^- ˕ -^≼
Dec 5, 2023
158
I had alot of built anger and no way to release it so I just started hitting myself
 
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Reactions: Celerity
EvisceratedJester

EvisceratedJester

|| What Else Could I Be But a Jester ||
Oct 21, 2023
3,464
The first time I self harmed was when I was around 12. My mom was in college at the time and she was running late and couldn't find her keys. She blamed me for it and then threatened me if I didn't find them by the time she came back home. I don't member what the threat was but I turned the apartment upside down looking for them and I could find them anywhere. Eventually the stress got to me and I walked straight into the kitchen, took out a knife, and started cutting my wrists.

I have no clue as to why the entire ordeal stressed me out so badly, especially to to the point of causing me to start cutting myself. It's not like she would have done anything serious to me....

Anyways, I ended up calling her and it turned out that she had found the keys in her bag and didn't bother to call and tell me that.
 
Celerity

Celerity

shape without form, shade without colour
Jan 24, 2021
2,733
Not sure if headbanging is included here, but I started at the ripe ol' age of......(checks notes) 4 years old.

I didn't have a healthy way of expressing my anger toward my older brother or my parents. I think my dad meant well when he ignored me during these tantrums. He was just trying not to reinforce my behavior with negative attention. But I took it to mean that I didn't matter to him, that I had no value.

The wide variety of ways you can fuck up your kids is fascinating in a very morbid way. Do XYZ or not. Follow the parenting advice or break all the rules. Whatever you do, your children might be even more fucked up than you were.
 

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