Running away/ starting a new life.

[Anon1337]

Has anyone else fantasied about running away? To leave your old life behind. I've thought about it so much. I know in reality it's difficult and dangerous. There's a sense of freedom about it.

I have nothing to lose. My family is toxic. Maybe it will change my perspective on life.

 

[deathbylife]

There's a sense of freedom about it.

I have nothing to lose. Maybe it will change my perspective on life.

I often dream about getting in my car and leaving, stopping in small towns for short periods and possibly working there and then moving on again. What stops me is there are a couple people who I am close to who I need to be near. I fear not having that anywhere else.

 

[Anon1337]

I often dream about getting in my car and leaving, stopping in small towns for short periods and possibly working there and then moving on again. What stops me is there are a couple people who I am close to who I need to be near. I fear not having that anywhere else.

Yeah. I've been an outcast for a long time now. I guess it's a good thing if you want to runaway. I would hate to leave good friends or nice relatives behind but I have none.

 

[deathbylife]

I would hate to leave good friends or nice relatives behind but I have none.

You have us, whenever you need us. And you possibly might have some support systems in place already where you are, which you might regret having to reestablish somewhere else, however small, weak or ineffective they may seem. IMHO, because obv I'm not you. But, better the devil you know, than an unknown devil, if that makes sense

 

[aforestfire]

Has anyone else fantasied about running away? To leave your old life behind. I've thought about it so much. I know in reality it's difficult and dangerous. There's a sense of freedom about it.

I have nothing to lose. My family is toxic. Maybe it will change my perspective on life.

constantly, i believe that besides death, starting over is the thing that i more think about. i have nothing to lose either, there's nothing here that i want.
it's very unrealistic for me, though; i don't have car, have no idea of how to drive, and my phobia social is something that holds me back. i wouldn't survive one month out there, but fantasizing about it is nice.

 

[ever so lonely]

sounds like a good idea this does, i am thinking of doing similar, maybe a fresh start and new perspectives op ?.

 

[System28]

u should give a try why not, grab some job in the place u wanna go can be a temporary one till u find one u like, another place anothers perpectives maybe good opportunites comes see what happens

 

[SectOfValtiel]

ive thought about it
but the same reasons i cant fix my current life are the same reasons a new one wouldnt fix anything

no income, no ability to find work
nobody would remember me- and thats a positive in this case, sure, but not in the long run
i still have a shitty, messy personality and still ruin things everywhere i go
still hurt people regardless of if its my intention or not
and still get hurt by others when i try, thats why i dont get close anymore
no way to maintain any kind of relationship, platonic or especially otherwise
and i cant exactly handle being completely alone... already am and its one of the reasons i even want to CTB in the first place lol
its unbearably painful and i feel like i cant reverse it anymore, ive isolated so long that any friends i did have have already moved on
cant even imagine making a new one... theyd just leave like everyone else does eventually, thats my reality

so im fucked if i stay, fucked if i go

 

[Zegers]

I daydream about it but it won't solve all the problems and i don't have the good health required for it either, my only way out is ctb.

 

[leaf23]

Oh I fantasize frequently about this too! However, it's not just my environment that's a problem, but the way that environment—the people, my experiences—had seemingly irreparably damaged me. Even if I move to a new place I have zero to little coping skills. I'm pessimistic enough to believe that selfish people can also exist in whatever new place I'll move to.

 

[hungry_ghost]

I've done it a few times.

Ran off and enlisted in the military, flew to Alaska for a job that would let me live on a mountain....

Clearly those ventures didn't change anything.

I still ended up back in the same situation over and over again.

But I would encourage others to do it, anyway, fuck it.

None of this shit is real, and most of us live in an imaginary fear that keeps us from doing the things we want to do most.

As long as you have a plan of some sort, or I guess even if you don't, if you're self-sufficient and strong, you could probably do it.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I can't compete with @Sufi (nothing as exciting as Alaska.) Still, I have had a few 'new starts' in life. Not exactly running away from home but certainly hoping to shake life up a bit. Moved 200 miles for a new job, 130 miles for another one and then back again.

Think it can help to an extent- just the nerves of being some place new I guess- new location, new people, new job can distract you for a bit. In my experience though, the same underlying 'you' follows you around and once you've gotten over that initial bit, familiar problems seem to crop up again. Guess the real trick is to banish the old 'you' to the past and create someone new in the new environment.

 

[Moonomyth]

Takes more effort these days, but if you set up enough groundwork in advance it's feasible without the things from your old life tracking you down. It's stopping them from doing that which is the hard part.

 

[je.suis.prêt]

I think about it too. I currently live with parents, about to fail my studies. Looking for part-time work so I can rent a shoebox in a different area and start life on my own. When I am not in manic-depressive suicidal mode, and hence able to think slightly clearer, I think that living on my own terms with new scenery will help me.

I found this interesting article about this urge relating to depression.

But it helps to be aware of the idea that running away is not a silver bullet; "wherever you go, there you are", mental health issues and certain other kinds of problem will not be magically fixed by running away from them.

 

[noaccount]

workamper.com and workampingjobs.com have lots of info on opportunities when doing this. check out vandwellers forum too. :)

 

[theboy]

do it

 

[Moonomyth]

But it helps to be aware of the idea that running away is not a silver bullet; "wherever you go, there you are", mental health issues and certain other kinds of problem will not be magically fixed by running away from them.

Correct. Escape is most effective if there's a very real material problem that can be significantly improved by leaving. The obvious one is being in an abusive relationship, but there's plenty of others.

 

[SaylorTwift]

I've done this many times. It never worked for me because I'm too fragile and ultimately not able to get by on my own, at least not anymore. But if you have nothing to lose, it's worth a shot to entertain the thought.

 

[Someday_Somehow32]

Absolutely, won't be able to now but one day I hope I can leave. I've got a few places that I figured would be nice to go.

 

[Sulyya]

Thinking about this lately. People in my life are all good but smothering, even without trying to be. And breaking out of a rut, even if it won't erase depression, might be a good idea..

 

[tuyu]

Yes yes and yes. Saving money rn to do this. Including change of legal name too (change to something completely unrelated to dead name)

 

[gravesfrommiami]

I've always thought about doing this but i wouldn't even know where to begin. I dont even know where i would even go but if i were to run away id leave the U.S and go to somewhere that i think would be a beautiful place to start over.

 

[tuyu]

Would you know how easy or hard it is to get a working visa in Australia / New Zealand?

Can only relate, have enough resources to do it aswell but the main Problem would be the Language barrier here in Europe, it would take a while but eventually one would find somewhere to settle down and integrate in.
Also thought about joining the Military as atleast there youd actually get discipline kicked into you aswell as being somewhere completely new without any of the people you know, doing atleast something for my Country, but i dont want to anger the last remaining close relative i have as shed go haywire on me for quitting an apprenticeship for the second time, shed find out about it in any scenario as she gets my Orphan-Money transferred to her account which would temporarily get cut off after id quit an apprenticeship.

Good start would probably be Australia or New Zealand, especially the latter should be fairly good aslong as youre able to settle down there legally, alot of people i know from latin america moved there and said some great things about it, also it being an english speaking Country where you could just become invisible due to its small population and large rural areas probably adds a good amount to it, oh also because it has a beautiful Countryside. Or you could just seek out Canada/the UK but those seem to deteriorate really quickly in terms of its bureaucracy/economy so im not sure if those are viable options.

 

[tuyu]

From Germany, but from what i know is that its alot easier applying in Straya especially as an american and since there isnt any deadline i know of, so you should be eligible, you can sign up on the actual australian immigration website if im not mistaken but id suggest looking it up yourself. However when it comes to NZ im not sure myself since the people i know that moved there from South America moved there under several government programs, but i would guess that its probably similar.
Heres the link for the Australian Immigration application: https://immi.homeaffairs.gov.au/visas/getting-a-visa/visa-listing/work-holiday-417
And here the New Zealand one: https://www.immigration.govt.nz/new...united-states-of-america-working-holiday-visa
Dont count on my Words since im from neither Country but its probably alot easier as an able bodied american to get a visa for both.
See if youre eligible and if its for both look which Country youd find most interesting.
Also before i forget to mention, pretty much any Country in Europe is fairly easy to get into as an american if youre willing to go to non english speaking Countries.

Helpful links!

Ah crap after googling more I realized what I meant was more of a long term thing rather than stints of 6 months to one year and jobs which are more… WWOOF - like. I think the ones you're referring to are 462 for AU. Whereas I'm thinking and wondering more of 186 (Employer Nonination). Although my job is definitely well demanded for all countries in general, but I'm just thinking how likely is it for them to hire a foreigner over their own countrymen :)

 

[nwuibe]

Wow…I think about this VERY often. I've always thought of it in a way that I could finally move somewhere that don't reminds me of my traumas. An environment where I can finally exist without thinking that I'm a failure. But if I do that, my family wouldn't understand or forgive me because I have everything. I have a home, I can eat good food everyday, I have loving people around me…. I have everything, yet I still want to escape.

And honestly I encourage you to do it if you're courageous enough. I encourage you to because there's a place for you somewhere where you can have everything. A place where peace and a good mental health is not something you have to beg for

 

[Sleepdrifter]

I would not recommend running away. It's easy to have fantasies about escaping a toxic situation and starting your own life. But as someone who's had to go it alone it's so frustrating when you see people walking around in life with friends and family. It's very hard to get around by yourself. Especially when it isn't even by choice.

Try and improve the situation you have slowly and create better options for yourself. If you do decide to run away without much of a plan you will screw yourself terribly. Because people online or whatever may encourage you to "free yourself" and so on but once you're out there you are on your own. Period. No one is going to help you and you won't be able to trust anyone.

 

[littlelittlecrow]

Has anyone else fantasied about running away? To leave your old life behind. I've thought about it so much. I know in reality it's difficult and dangerous. There's a sense of freedom about it.

I have nothing to lose. My family is toxic. Maybe it will change my perspective on life.

I think about it all the time. It's my greatest fantasy, I don't want to die I just don't want to live this life anymore. I fantasize so much about reincarnation, getting another chance in life. Life is so beautiful and I wish I didn't fuck mine up so badly.

 

[Source Energy]

I've done it a few times.

Ran off and enlisted in the military, flew to Alaska for a job that would let me live on a mountain....

Clearly those ventures didn't change anything.

I still ended up back in the same situation over and over again.

But I would encourage others to do it, anyway, fuck it.

None of this shit is real, and most of us live in an imaginary fear that keeps us from doing the things we want to do most.

As long as you have a plan of some sort, or I guess even if you don't, if you're self-sufficient and strong, you could probably do it.

I considered this too. Move to Florida or Hawaii, take my profession the next level...but I will take the sadness with me, and the sum of all my failures rooted in my psyche...I would still feel this way, just in a different setting...:(

 

[PAfb_640]

I do, but I don't know how nor if I even can.

 

[wombhockey]

Has anyone else fantasied about running away? To leave your old life behind. I've thought about it so much. I know in reality it's difficult and dangerous. There's a sense of freedom about it.

I have nothing to lose. My family is toxic. Maybe it will change my perspective on life.

That's the plan that I have. I preparing for a job which will give me financial independent from this toxic family. So, I won't have to see thier face ever again. Specially the sister whom I never chose to be my sister. They are financially fine, so they won't need me financially. Emotionally? There were never there for me, so it doesn't make any sense for me to be there for them. I am in search of some nice people and some nice hobbies which will make me a better human being.