Games Review the Post Above!

[Dr Iron Arc]

We all have days or even lives where we feel like our interests don't matter. This is your chance to force them to matter to someone!

Instructions:

1) Experience the thing the user above you posted. Be sure to watch/absorb the content in its entirety.
2) Then write a paragraph-long (no less than 4-5 complete sentences) review about what you saw. There is no maximum word count so you can go for being as thorough as possible on whatever content you just absorbed.
3) Make sure to also include a numerical score. It can be a percentage or a fraction, whatever works for you.
4) After finishing your review, the same post should include the thing you're submitting to be reviewed by the next poster.
4.20) You can anything: songs (with the link), videos, cartoons, essays, poems, paintings, web articles, images, even short games if you want, etc. For the sake of accessibility let's try not to submit anything that takes longer than an hour to consume though.
4.69) Please include explicit-content/trigger/spoiler warnings if they need to be applied. By the way if someone posts something that you don't have access to(like a YouTube video blocked in your country) then be sure to include a screen cap of that and you can downgrade it for that if you want.

Example:

Review:

Since this is the first post, I am sorry to say that I have to give the post above mine the lowest possible score. Indeed, how can one be expected to give a substantial review for absolutely nothing? The poster above deserves to be punished for such lackluster content. Even as far as nothing goes, this is the absolute worst pile of nothing I have ever witnessed. I give the post above mine a 0/10.

Submission:


((Remember to have fun since it's just a game and hopefully don't take what people have to say too seriously though if you're posting your review should be as earnest as possible if you can. You don't have to follow my example entirely just make sure your review is at least a paragraph. Oh god I hope this game isn't dead on arrival. Anyway. Thanks.))

 

[Mentalmick]

I fuckin' hate SpongeBob with a passion. Stupid little yellow sponge bastard. To get to the point, anything he is in is therefore the worst creation since the Third Reich.
-1/10

 

[TheAmazingCriswell]

In his latest documentary, David Attenborough lets the images speak for themselves.
The age-old questions, "Where do we come from?", "Where are we going?" and "Why are we here?" are not answered (it's a nature documentary, for heaven's sake).
He examines the interplay between man and nature, nature and nature, nature and technology, technology and man, man and interplay, the and he, and and woman.
Was it necessary? No. Was it enjoyable? No. It exists and God is pleased.
Three points out of five stars.

 

[nolongerhuman]

The title certainly did not disappoint. This piece could spark an international debate regarding whether it can be considered a piece of music. Being the open minded person that I am, I shrug my shoulders and say "Sure". The voice is certainly talented in this particular brand of singing, and I now have a non-problematic reason to know the German word 'Schneller'. 7/10.

https://americanenglish.state.gov/files/ae/resource_files/the_cask_of_amontillado.pdf

 

[TheAmazingCriswell]

Lacking an identifiable style and equipped with a mediocre technique, the artist fails to commit anything to paper that merits further discussion. Beardsely remains without peer. Besides, I have been unable to discern the point of all this filler text between the images.
0/3 Michelin stars.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I love the piano. I love it when melodies are played in slightly different ways or when instruments try to copy other instruments. When that other guy joins in at the end it was pretty funny too. In short: I enjoyed this video: 9/10.

 

[nolongerhuman]

I can tell that this is some kind of referential humor. Unfortunately I do not get the reference, which makes this joke inaccessible to me. While the actual piece of music played in the video is nice enough, I feel like both the uncut musical track and the original video this joke is based on would be more interesting products to someone who hasn't played whatever video game the piece of music probably came from. 4/10.

https://ocias.com/works/slut-room/ (despite the name it is not actually nsfw)

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

It took me a while to figure out I was to click and drag my character through some sort of maze. The fact that scrolling down caused the page to refresh did not help. Upon reaching the finish line I was congratulated with 'What a slut'. What the hell? I thought, as I made my way back to the starting point and ended up in a dead-end room with a nude female torso plastered to its walls. At first I did not give much thought to the vaguely familiar silhouette of our intrepid hero, but as I sandwiched myself in between her bosom, I had a eureka moment. I see what you did there, developers. Three Vixens out of five Bad Dragons.

 

[TheAmazingCriswell]

Let the pan do the work.
That's the kind of noise you want to hear from the pan.
Use the pan to your advantage.
Be one with the pan.
Become the pan.
You are now a pan.
Beautiful.
Let them rest.
I like garlic, so I award 10/10 centimetres.

 

[nolongerhuman]

A classic example of absurdist comedy. Appropriate soundtrack. The joke goes on for exactly as long as it needs to. Chefs Kiss. 9/10.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/attachments/1620314629758-png.67781/?hash=3af9a773d7d6c4fa4f3fa5a9b1001776

 

[Mentalmick]

So in summary:
Pros
- 9 feet tall
- excellent dress sense
- dead.
Cons.
- head way too small for body
- the cut of his jib leaves a bad taste in the mouth
- I'm watching the chase
In conclusion:
7/10

 

[nolongerhuman]

Many of the jokes land. About an equal number of them do not. This video could have been condensed to include only the best clips. America's Funniest Home videos continues to be unrivaled. 5/10.

Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep by Clare Harner

Comments & analysis: Do not stand at my grave and weep; / I am not there. I do not sleep. / I am a thousand win

allpoetry.com

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

I am unable to appreciate poetry at all and find all of it cringy and unnecessary since you could just write what you wanted to say without getting all flowery. The fact that someone is not there after death is something I agree with (lol). I don't agree with the fact that she "did not die", not sure what that's about. Maybe depersonalization/DID or something. 0/10.

 

[TheAmazingCriswell]

[We could have a long discussion about the merits of poetry, but this is not the place for it. I've already thought about starting a new section for poetry that is concerned with death, and maybe shall do so after seeing that at least one other person might be interested in it.]

This is a very strange piece of music. While I consider myself to be fairly open minded, I never saw the appeal of people screaming for five minutes.
Despite all the screaming, it says nothing.
Despite all its frenzy and artificial drama, it bores me.
0/1

 

[nolongerhuman]

surprisingly calming considering the clanging bells and kazoo (?) that makes up the majority of the music. You would not think that any of those elements would blend well together, but the musician skillfully makes it work. In this way, the accompanying piece of art can be said to reflect the piece of music it is presenting. Could use more chanting. 8/10.

 

[signifying nothing]

Mad artist crosses cartoon mouse with spider? I can almost feel the pain of the thing's warped existence. I hope it was made of something edible and no longer exists in the real world. The inscription just exacerbates the anguish of the piece. It speaks of the terrible father that gave the thing life and has since abandoned his tormented creation. 1/5

 

[All Things Must Pass]

How come I have never heard of this anime before? It's unlike anything I've ever seen. I don't have much to say about the song other than the fact it's good. As for the editing, I don't like it, there are too much cuts. 5

 

[motel rooms]

I don't appreciate how this makes me feel. It makes me feel like sometimes it's OK to be racist. Even worse, it makes me feel old. I can't tell if it's Japanese or South Korean. I think it might even be North Korean. Is this K-pop? I'm only 40, for God's sake. I should know these things so I can pretend I'm not a racist. I feel some sympathy for the devil though. That's a reference to an ancient Rolling Stones song. Have the kids on here even heard of the Rolling Stones? I understand why they want to die now that I've seen & heard this.
3/10

 

[nolongerhuman]

"Video unavailable: This video is not available" It says. Indeed, there is no video. A disappointment. 0/10.

 

[Mentalmick]

Don't know what I just watched but I liked it. If you can ignore the unrealistic ammo count in the guns, you're in for a treat.
7/10

 

[nolongerhuman]

Most of the clips are quite amusing. Clever use of editing is used to enhance the joke in some scenes. the humor is almost, but not quite, enough to justify the video's 10 minute length. 8/10.

 

[TheAmazingCriswell]

Most of the clips are quite amusing. Clever use of editing is used to enhance the joke in some scenes. the humor is almost, but not quite, enough to justify the video's 10 minute length. 8/10.

The people of the world v. nolongerhuman
Prosecutor: Your Honour, according to Wikipedia, False advertising is described as the crime or misconduct of publishing, transmitting, or otherwise publicly circulating an advertisement containing a false, misleading, or deceptive statement.
Exhibit A (see above), which was submitted by the defendant, claims to deal with a long walk, yet the video does not even last four minutes.
I rest my case.
Judge: Rise, Mr. nolongerhuman. The court has reached a verdict. Due to the graveness of the crime, we sentence the defendant to 0 out of 25 years of hard mental labour in an accounting firm of his choice.

[This one is for the Americans. Even if this is not your kind of music, pay attention to the lyrics.]

 

[motel rooms]

Video unavailable. This video is not available. Indeed, there is no video. I thoroughly enjoyed it. 10/10

 

[nolongerhuman]

Exceptional musical track. This will be on one of my playlists. The singer certainly seems to be having fun dancing. What YouTube was designed for. 10/10.

 

[motel rooms]

I don't appreciate how this makes me feel. It makes me feel like sometimes it's OK to be racist. Even worse, it makes me feel old. I can't tell if it's Japanese or South Korean. I think it might even be North Korean. Is this K-pop? I'm only 40, for God's sake. I should know these things so I can pretend I'm not a racist. Why do they make their eyes so disgustingly big? To make little Asian girls ashamed of their actual eyes so they spend a fortune on cosmetic surgery when they grow up? 0/10

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

The song is fitting and catchy enough. It had a good beat too. The production value on the music video was nice. My only issue with it was I was kind of creeped out by it for some reason but that could be because I'm a total wimp. 7/8.

I can tell that this is some kind of referential humor. Unfortunately I do not get the reference, which makes this joke inaccessible to me. While the actual piece of music played in the video is nice enough, I feel like both the uncut musical track and the original video this joke is based on would be more interesting products to someone who hasn't played whatever video game the piece of music probably came from. 4/10.

Fair enough. The only real reference is that the "modern version" of the song is more dynamic and louder but I'll make my next submission the uncut themes and every version of it anyway:

 

[Mentalmick]

To make little Asian girls ashamed of their actual eyes so they spend a fortune on cosmetic surgery when they grow up?

Sorry to butt in but those Asian "women" with surgically enhanced eyes look freaky as fuck. They're like androids or aliens. Real fucking weird.

 

[signifying nothing]

This is possibly the worst exercise video I have ever seen. Not only does it not advise the viewer about needing a sword, shield and costume for the routine, there's no warning about the possible dangers of exercising in this manner. Furthermore, the routines undertaken by the characters are not even in step with the music, making the whole thing doubly difficult. By the end I had however grown a distinct desire to relive my youth by playing primitive video games on a SNES. 6/10

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

Comes across as uninteresting to me. I like the cowboy hats. The bulls are big and they seem capable of injuring the riders. I'd prefer it if no one got hurt, but I guess it's in the nature of the sport. Very sad ordeal since I don't find it interesting, but many others do and the riders enjoy themselves (until they get injured) and get paid, so I guess it's cool. Maybe a 3/10 since yee-haw.

 

[TheAmazingCriswell]

My main point of criticism is that the content of the piece does not merit its length; perhaps it should be sped up a bit?
I never understood country music, because it is unknown which country the country in question is: Spain? Italy? Tuvalu?
I presume it is the U.S. of A., so why not call it Unitedstatesofamericamusic?
Nevertheless, I award 1/1 points, because I have some to spare.

[Make sure to watch till the end]