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elfin

elfin

Member
Feb 8, 2022
80
right now it's around a 6 or 7 maybe? it's definitely been better but it's also been much worse than this. i have a couple of things to look forward to at the moment so it's not absolutely unbearable right now.
 
Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
7. I get my neuropsychological test results back from my psychologist soon to see why my memory and attention is so bad and depending on what she says and my treatment options, I may or may not plan my ctb. I might start writing letters just in case I do decide so at least that would be done
 
8

8livesleft

Member
Dec 14, 2021
7
I always find these rating scales subjective.

For me:
10 = just did the lethal act since it cant get any higher
9 = on the way to do it since it's just below a 10 which would be you already did it
8 = last rating where you are still thinking about it

I am an 8 ;) ....."just smile and wave boys"
 
H

hatedanddestroyed

Member
Feb 9, 2022
16
7-8. Ironically, the failed attempts recently are giving me depression and doubt about suicide. I want to die painlessly as possible but the chance of a successful suicide seem to be against me.
8 today…would've been a 7 before the ex who broke my heart reached out with a half-assed attempt to "check on me."
Why do they do that? It's like a slow knife twist.
 
N

noname223

Angelic
Aug 18, 2020
4,400
My biggest problem currently is not suicdal thoughts but my biggest problem could lead soon to very acute suicidality.
My anxiety goes through the through, through the roof and through the roof.
I need extra sleeping medication otherwise I think I could not sleep well. I probably will add lorazepame soon.
If I fuck it up I soon have to kill myself. The pressure is immensly...

suicidal thoughts 5,5
 
Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
7. My mom was talking about work and her one client and how amazing he is and far along in life he is at a young age and I feel kind of incompetent and like I should be farther along than I currently am. I feel like a loser and a failure
 
Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
8. I feel like I'm destined to ctb. I feel like I'll never get a job and move out of my parents house because of my memory and attention issues. I was supposed to get a call back from a job interview by today, but they didn't call and I'm pretty sure I didn't get the job because of how badly I did at the interview having to ask the interviewer to repeat the same question 4 times and still not getting it. I feel incredibly slow and unintelligent and I hate myself for it. I really hope I pass away in my sleep tonight, but I probably won't knowing my luck.