It sucks total dick to have to interact with a narcissist on a daily basis because you're dependent on them for basic help in order to be able to survive in this shitty existence until you can finally get the hell off this planet.
"This is so hard for ME, I'm such a good person, I don't HAVE to help you guys but I do it out of the goodness of my heart, all of my friends say I'm an amazing mother/mother-in-law, me me me..."
Meanwhile, you have your health, a social life etc, all the while your son and daughter-in-law not only have neither of those things, but are suffering beyond comprehension. I always tell you how grateful I am for your help, and I try to make things as easy on you as possible. I know it's a difficult situation but a little bit of perspective would go a long way. But thanks, I guess, for not completely leaving us to rot out of the "goodness of your heart".
You're always the victim. You completely lack perspective and empathy for anyone other than yourself, and then you wonder why your relationship with your own son is so irreparably broken. It's amazing that he turned out as "well" as he did – and you did A LOT of damage.
When you bring another human into the world, there's always the chance that they're not going to turn out the way you want them to. Shit happens, and life is just one big gamble. Your son's chronically ill, and he happened to fall in love with someone else who also turned out to be chronically ill and has absolutely no support because her entire family's on the other side of the world. I'm sorry that it's not what you want, but that's what happened, and guilt-tripping us for something we have absolutely no control over doesn't change a single god damn thing, so I don't know what you're trying to get out of this.
I have such a headache.