Lorntroubles

Lorntroubles

Photography by Haris Nukem.
Jan 19, 2020
3,095
That bitch named Hope. How I'd held on to that bitch but later crashed and burned. Sure, she kept me going a little longer, sure, she sounded promising, but lately she has made me suicidal because I see it clear as day that the crucial things in my life all fell apart. For me, I broke up with this "hope".
 
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FusRohDracarys

But what do I know
Mar 31, 2020
236
I'm very tired and can't focus today. Need to work on my project but I just wanna SS and memes all day. RIP.
I also wish I was one of those calm, cool, collected people who never show any emotion instead of a landmine ready to go off at the drop of a pin.
 
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Lefty

Mage
Dec 7, 2018
530
Starting to feel exhausted.
 
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Notwinnernotawin

Notwinnernotawin

Specialist
Apr 4, 2020
341
The discrepancy between keeping my weight to be easier to hang myself with the resources I have, and the desire to eat all the food I want on my last days is really frustrating.
 
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Epsilon0

Enlightened
Dec 28, 2019
1,874
Somewhere there's someone sitting by a dying husband, or a dying wife, or even a dying child. Somewhere there's someone who would give worlds not to see their loved one dying. I want to trade places with the dying. I want to be taken instead of them!

I am nothing. Nothing but a waste of flesh. A waste of space.

Or, if I can't change places with the dying, let me dissolve. Let every molecule in me break up and let the atoms become part of something else - anything else - anything but me.

That I have come to see this day... Hey, you, up in heaven, I never read your books, I couldn't, you were something else for me, not an author. But I knew you - the endless enumerations, the jokes, your love for Schleiermacher.

L'amour, l'art et cetera.

I am ashamed that you may see me on this day - I wasn't good, little Baby, after all.

Dying is easy. You did it. Everyone else that came before you did it.

Look, there's a star slowly crawling up above the ridge of that hill. Soon many more will suddenly appear, oh, and the Milky Way too. Soon you will tell me the poem again, I won't understand its meaning, but I'll listen.

Listen! If stars are lit
It means
Somebody needs it

Forgive me! I love you. Can you help me?
 
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FusRohDracarys

But what do I know
Mar 31, 2020
236
How about I just die already and all of this is not my problem anymore?
No hugs please. I'm so sick of hugs and feel goody fluffy talk from the COVID crap going on.
 
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Lethe

Lethe

Fey
Sep 19, 2019
670
For a while today I was certain that tonight would be the night.
 
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Life sucks

Visionary
Apr 18, 2018
2,134
I think members are increasing much lately because of the global pandemic. But that means trolls and toxicity would be much more.
 
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Remember to forget

Remember to forget

Member
Mar 6, 2020
98
I'm feeling great today. Feel like I have achieved something and I'm not just a bit shit at most things, i can be good at a few things at least.
 
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262653

262653

Cluesome
Apr 5, 2018
1,733
I just read a recent rant about COVID, liberties, quality of life... I wanted to start a new thread but figured I wouldn't want to start a discussion... Not that it would gather much responses. Starting a new thread and posting in this one are different things.

Is it a coincidence that the words "thread" and "tread" have a similar structure? For this instance I'll pretend it's not. (Or it isn't? English *Hmph*) Again, I'll tread the pass well-traveled.

I really don't feel agitated about the current crisis, pandemic, mass rape, or whatever we call it. Maybe because my life is sustained at the expense of others and I don't even leave this apartment. What's the point anyway? Walk, they say, do things, see places. But it feels like a prison wherever I go. It's like doing cardio in your cell. Still incarcerated, and now more exhausted in addition. I actually find some satisfaction in all this mess. It's like you're being anally fucked, doggy style, and there are lots of people being fucked around, in the same manner. It just feels so nice not to feel alone in my shit. It's like an AA meeting, except people instead of sitting in chairs are being raped live. Nothing like a common misfortune to bring the sense of unity. Nature is like the huge bloating orb with zillions of dicks protruding from every side, and gravity is her mighty arms... Should I put a NSFW tag or something?

The government, the system, people in power, all this feels so out of my concern, big enemies in big institutions feel so far away when I have to fight my nature, my neighbors because I look different and they think that's good enough for a reason, school people because... fuck do I know why, I was too dumb at a time to be bothered to ask, gain group status, maybe, or find company for their misery. It's like government tells to to go fight for the country, defend the border... when your enemies are swarming your life already, serving with you in one army unit, live in one building, go to the same school, work in the same environment. It's actually hilarious to hear such demands. The audacity xD

I guess one could argue that it's government/system/power-people who make so much people so miserable they (we?) express anger onto each other because their own bullies are out of reach. And I'd probably agree, but go a bit further and blame the nature instead. But since we can't fight it, we might as well focus on other people, amirite?

Alright, an hour of ponderings has been wasted, but since my life is a waste of time, every hour of it (paradoxically) is worth passing.

The hour of cooking has come.
 
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FusRohDracarys

But what do I know
Mar 31, 2020
236
I was confident I was going to get rejected after Monday's interview. And now they've thrown me this curve ball: they do not want to move forward at this time. They want to redo the interview I just did.

Half Empty: hahahahaha well, so much for "it's just one time--do it and get it over with!" Here's a fantastic chance to fall flat on my face, yeah!
Half Full: oh crap what if I actually stand a chance of getting the job? I can have more time to prep and maybe, maybe, maybe get an offer

oh boy.
 
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Brick In The Wall

Brick In The Wall

2M Or Not 2B.
Oct 30, 2019
25,158
That bitch named Hope. How I'd held on to that bitch but later crashed and burned. Sure, she kept me going a little longer, sure, she sounded promising, but lately she has made me suicidal because I see it clear as day that the crucial things in my life all fell apart. For me, I broke up with this "hope".
Hope is a cruel fucking mistress!
 
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Aesthler

Aesthler

Death is the only God who comes when you call
Sep 25, 2018
416
Sometimes I cry for no apparent reason, too many nights laying awake feeling so hollow. My fleeting heart I wish to follow, the canvas left dry, feeling beaten. It's not all bad, it's neutral. If I'm being truthful it's often brutal and the good isn't good it's just a fad, a time in my mind that going to change. Why do I feel so strange?
 
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M

Morphinekiss

Enlightened
Jun 8, 2019
1,207
And as the clock strikes midnight I've survived another birthday. Only time will tell if it was my last.
 
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omoidarui

omoidarui

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ
Apr 30, 2019
993
as the clock strikes midnight

its my one year anniversary of joining this forum ! yhhh
 
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Oyoy

Oyoy

Spatula
Feb 2, 2020
741
It just occurred to me that all police hand cuffs have the same key.
 
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Lefty

Mage
Dec 7, 2018
530
Tired of this pandemic.
 
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Arrow

Arrow

Rewrite
May 1, 2020
769
we'll be like animals in the eyes of future, more evolved humans that will live on earth millions of years from now.
 
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GoBack

GoBack

Paragon
Apr 25, 2020
997
Why is it f*" *kin mornin again
 
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Oyoy

Oyoy

Spatula
Feb 2, 2020
741
It seems like people who want to die have to work hard to go yet people who do everything right die.
I'm really reaching here but maybe if everyone wanted to die Corona would go away.
 
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a.n.kirillov

a.n.kirillov

velle non discitur
Nov 17, 2019
1,831
Potato salad

Does this qualify as a thought?

It's the only thing on my mind rn.
 
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PoisonedJuliet

PoisonedJuliet

You saucy boy!
Feb 12, 2020
1,191
I just want a hug from someone who understands
 
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Morphinekiss

Enlightened
Jun 8, 2019
1,207
Well if I didn't fit before I sure as hell don't now. What the fuck is even going on.

why am I 33 feeling like I'm 13?
 
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Morphinekiss

Enlightened
Jun 8, 2019
1,207
Please come home from the hospital. I don't want that to be our last goodbye. I couldn't even hug you, but I could hear you wheezing from across the room.
 
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Lefty

Mage
Dec 7, 2018
530
The feeling of void?
 
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a.n.kirillov

a.n.kirillov

velle non discitur
Nov 17, 2019
1,831
If I could go back in time and abort Van Gogh, I would.

fixed it*
 
Last edited:
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a.n.kirillov

a.n.kirillov

velle non discitur
Nov 17, 2019
1,831
wait what?
He had a horrible life. If I could go back and abort every tormented genius that ever lived, I would do it, despite then having to forgo enjoying their works.
 
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