Random thoughts

[Morphinekiss]

Kill me

 

[WhyIsLife56]

For some reason the pictures aren't showing on the Suicide memes thread. Is it just me?

 

[Life sucks]

How brain works and the difference of perception is extremely huge. So I went from lacking chemicals to getting some in a short time. I was listening to some music and wasn't enjoying. Then I listened again when those fucking chemicals returned and it was magical. Stupid nonsense life controlled by chemicals.

 

[Morphinekiss]

He asked if I've found love again. No. He asked if I wanted to find love again yes. But I don't think anyone wants to love me. "You make it impossible to love you long term". I still hate him for those words, and I don't think he even knows the damage they did. I need to cut off contact again.

 

[BlueWidow]

 

[blueming]

I don't believe in heaven and hell but this life sure is what I think hell would be like

 

[BlueWidow]

I don't believe in heaven and hell but this life sure is what I think hell would be like

I'm right there with ya! If there is a hell, we are definitely in it right now. I bet if you described the conditions that people have to live in on this planet to an alien from some other planet, they would think we were all living in hell as well.

 

[Lefty]

Wish I could find some resolve.

 

[BlueWidow]

It's getting closer to time for my SIL to come and drag me off to the lunch that I don't want to go to today. The closer it gets, the more dizzy and sick I feel. I'm exhausted right now because I didn't get any sleep last night because I was dreading this lunch so much. I'm so tired of fighting with everybody. I don't understand why people just can't leave me alone when I ask them to. All I want is a little peace and quiet and to be by myself, particularly at this time of the year. Yet no one seems to want to honor my wishes. Everyone thinks they can barge into my life anytime they want to and intrude on my solitude.
I feel like my only way out is ctb.

 

[Carina]

I don't believe in heaven and hell but this life sure is what I think hell would be like

Oh good, so I"m basically not the only one who thinks this is hell.

Seriously sometimes I swear I died long ago successful in an ctb, and this is hell. And I don't even believe in either one either.

 

[TheDevilsAngel]

Why does he keep harassing me... Why did he ring my neighbour and tell her lies why earlier in the day was he pretending to be her.... Why is he trying to turn everyone against me... He told my neighbour I was a swinger and he is worried because I'm neglecting the kids... Its all bull since he left he has not helped at all in any way not even bought food for the kids.... He won't accept the break up but I am going to make him.. Anyone I talk to agrees my kids won't be taken off me.... He is unstable he is watching me and hacking my phone and accounts.... I can't breathe I can't think I'm here in darkness which I like but I'm afraid and I don't know how to cope until Monday.... I recorded the call he made no sense I realised this after I listened.... I'm doing nothing but even if i was it my business I am my own person I have the freedom to choose what I want to do and who I talk too... Just because I let him control me for so long does not mean he owns me any longer.... He told he we broke up because I was seeing men... The truth is we broke up because of the abuse because of the fear I saw in the kids eyes when he gave out for how upset the kids would get when he was so angry with me.... I asked the kids the other day would they like to go to there dads they both said no.... Xmas day when he came to the door I asked the kids did they want see him they said no... He told my neighbour the kids were crying to see him and I would not let them.... He is lying and manipulative and I've had enough... He doesn't care for kids he just wants to hurt me....

I am so sick of even the thought of liven but my kids they deserve the best I can give and I know I'm the best person for them to be with because I've always done everything for them and I have a bond.... They would be devastated if he ever tried to take them.....

 

[SlackJim]

Sometimes I trip out when I think about how every SS member is a real person

 

[15dec]

I don't think I'm supposed to be happy

 

[biboty]

Every day seem the same, I can't take it anymore

 

[Morphinekiss]

My rib cage and hip bones are making it uncomfortable to lay on my stomach in bed. This pleases me greatly.

 

[BlueWidow]

I don't understand why people think you don't have a choice and why they think suicide is never a rational choice. Seems to me if you've been going to doctors for the last 25 years and begging for help, but haven't really gotten any help. The most rational thing you can do is stop wasting your limited energy on such futile efforts and use it toward something that you know will be a true solution.

 

[Nemeshisu]

I feel like i overcame fear of death pretty early in my life. Once I was 6 or 7 years old I say. Why? Well, when I was at a age 5-7, I went to a lot funerals. I'd say I went to five different funerals just over period of these 2 years. That would include my both grandparents funerals, my uncle's friend who died in accident funeral, my friend's grandma funeral and city mayor funeral. As I spent a lot of time around death as a child, I just thought that death was something normal. Nothing to be scared of. You simply live. After some time you die and that's it.

 

[To match the colors]

IM SUFFOCATING!!!! I WANT OUT !!! JUST KILL ME!!!

 

[Morphinekiss]

Can a hole open up and swallow me up? I just don't want to exist anymore today. I wish I could sleep.

 

[Life sucks]

I should minimize communication with the absurd humans as much as possible. Not only much of what they say is illogical and absurd but the language they use is inherently ambiguous and bad to use. Which makes much of the talk as meaningless and kind of sophist. Natural languages are as bad as humans. Logical and mathematical languages are independent of humans nature so obviously they are the best when talking about logic. However, absurd people want to use absurd methods to prove absurd ideas.

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

Feel like I'm losing my mind.

Me too
Sometimes I am trying to wake up from nightmare. It's not working.

 

[Morphinekiss]

You've got your passion, you've got your pride
But don't you know that only fools are satisfied?
Dream on, but don't imagine they'll all come true
When will you realize, Vienna waits for you?

 

[throwaway123]

This world is so screwed up. Death is salvation.

 

[throwaway123]

....I can't face the truth. I just can't face it. I know why. Because it's too painful to accept. Just too damn painful. I want to die. My life was a complete failure. I hate myself and everything about me. Fucking everything. I want this to end. I don't want to live in misery like this. I want my freedom. I don't even understand how I deserve this. Why am I so fucked up? Why what did I do to deserve such a pathetic existence?

 

[Morphinekiss]

All we are is dust in the wind

 

[Worthless_nobody]

If I'm not passed out on New year's I'm covering the fucking clock with something...ugh I can't believe I'm here yet again for a new year. All I want is to die...to fade out if existence forever.

 

[CyanideSoup]

Today is the first time I've been left alone since my attempt in October. I keep having the urge to just take as much SN as I can and pray it works but I know that's stupid and I can't rush into this. I really don't want to be found again so I need to wait.. I just wish today was the day..

 

[throwaway123]

how am I even alive. My life is a complete mess. I'm a shadow of my former self. How did I end up here? How did I lose so much control over my life? and now I fear death what's even worse. Does it really matter if I go to hell or not ? because I already am in my own hell.
why am I so broken. Why can't I just fix myself. Ive tried so hard and I can't keep doing this anymore. For what?

 

[Morphinekiss]

I could call him. We could be high in an hour. He hasn't even been sober a year, but he'd do it for me. I could destroy us both tonight.

 

[Lefty]

Feeling worried and wishing I didn't make that mistake.