Positive thoughts?

[Circles]

What is there to be positive about?

Here's my list so far and I'm gonna nitpick at them:

-Seeing my dog every day and give her belly rubs.
(depressing part is that this won't last long and when she dies the loss will be too much I'll probably never have another pet again.)

-Smoking weed or any other substance to block the thoughts.
(depressing part is that it's just another distraction to move on from the same problem that keeps repeating.)

-Being with my family
(depressing part is that they work a lot and it's only getting worse as I get older. I love seeing my mom but she smokes a pack a day and is getting older and either Alzheimer's or respiratory problems is going to creep up one day and I'll lose her. As for my siblings, welp like all things people just drift apart sooner or later and so the loneliness will probably get worse.

-Go outside more and interacting with nature and such.
(depressing part(s) is that there's so many things I can think about like habitat destruction or how the land is owned or even how natural beauty is commercialized and I'll never have something like that, or how deadly nature can be and how much competition there is just to survive in the animal world while all these animals are trapped in their imprisoned bodies waiting to be consumed by nature or other living things.

-Whether good or bad I'm going to die regardless and my problems will finally end one day.
(depressing part is that it'll be like I never existed at all and I'll forget all this so wtf was the point?)

I feel pathetic I can't come up with more just fucking wow. This feels impossible, the negativity just can't be ignored. Is 'life whatever I make of it' and should I try to 'just live in the moment' cause those only feels like more platitudes.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

I have come to the point where whenever a person tells me "think positive" I wanna slap them across the face I have tried that shit for years I even have a folder with nearly 800 pics with quotes I used to rotate as my desktop background every 3 hours and read and try and imply and nothing worked.

Not everyone is the same no matter how much society try to sell you that idea we are for from the same one person might be able to improve their mental strengths up to 90%+ while others like me after years of hard work can only reach 20-30% the brain is a muscle like any others and everyones is different.

 

[Beautifulletdown]

I think something is wrong with me because I can't seem to think positively. The last therapist said all I had to do is think positively. I've tried so many things and wasted so much money I didn't have to change my way of thinking. I'm broken is all I can think of.

 

[Seagirl]

Think Positive!! Pah! We would all bloody do it & feel better wouldn't we?

We cant. It's the way we are made. Positive thoughts are just mere hope & easy to do if you are easily led or simple. I wish I was like that. I'm lying in bed not wanting to wake up. I was thinking of putting a self help, guided visualisation, meditation tape on. But I came on this site. Why? Because the bloody positivity doesn't bloody work. At least here there might be a new quick painless fast way to die.

 

[Beautifulletdown]

Think Positive!! Pah! We would all bloody do it & feel better wouldn't we?

We cant. It's the way we are made. Positive thoughts are just mere hope & easy to do if you are easily led or simple. I wish I was like that. I'm lying in bed not wanting to wake up. I was thinking of putting a self help, guided visualisation, meditation tape on. But I came on this site. Why? Because the bloody positivity doesn't bloody work. At least here there might be a new quick painless fast way to die.

So then what do you do? Because I was on another forum where someone said if you think negativity then negative people are drawn to you vs positive. I mean should I just give up then because if the only thing I think is negative thoughts then everything in my life is fucked.

 

[Seagirl]

So then what do you do? Because I was on another forum where someone said if you think negativity then negative people are drawn to you vs positive. I mean should I just give up then because if the only thing I think is negative thoughts then everything in my life is fucked.

Do what you want to feel better. I sincerely hope it works for you & in many cases it does.

 

[oopswronglife]

It's not about "positivity" in the American self help meaning which is superficial nonsense with some weird idea that big smiles and wishing for things will be rewarded. It's about not making things worse in your mind than they really are.

Example: If you walk into a shop expecting the shopkeeper to be a jerk, you are going to show it in your body language, voice etc and that's going to make the shopkeeper react and be defensive and suddenly you have your "proof" the shopkeeper is a jerk and you are an idiot for going there because you knew better. But it was all manufactured. Now this isn't saying there aren't any jerk shopkeepers. It's not saying you always create all bad circumstances. It's trying to actively avoid creating the ones we do or making real ones worse.

There is no magical cure for suffering that I am aware of. That doesn't mean its not possible to reduce it or avoid self created issues. It doesn't happen by saying "Today is going to be a GOOD day!" and smiling ear to ear. It happens by recognizing and choosing behaviors and not allowing the OPPOSITE to happen where everything is shit because we say so. My cat is a source of happiness for me like your dog. I am constantly worrying about illness, injury etc and have to recognize and remember I am creating pain in myself over something that hasn't happened. I do my best to make sure she is safe and healthy and enjoy the time with her I have. The little things are like stones across a brook...one day there actually might not be enough stones and you are swept away...but often we just stomp in the water and tell ourselves how miserable it is being wet because we WANT a solid bridge and not some stupid little stones to step on. But stones are what we've got.

 

[pole]

It's not about "positivity" in the American self help meaning which is superficial nonsense with some weird idea that big smiles and wishing for things will be rewarded. It's about not making things worse in your mind than they really are.

Example: If you walk into a shop expecting the shopkeeper to be a jerk, you are going to show it in your body language, voice etc and that's going to make the shopkeeper react and be defensive and suddenly you have your "proof" the shopkeeper is a jerk and you are an idiot for going there because you knew better. But it was all manufactured. Now this isn't saying there aren't any jerk shopkeepers. It's not saying you always create all bad circumstances. It's trying to actively avoid creating the ones we do or making real ones worse.

There is no magical cure for suffering that I am aware of. That doesn't mean its not possible to reduce it or avoid self created issues. It doesn't happen by saying "Today is going to be a GOOD day!" and smiling ear to ear. It happens by recognizing and choosing behaviors and not allowing the OPPOSITE to happen where everything is shit because we say so. My cat is a source of happiness for me like your dog. I am constantly worrying about illness, injury etc and have to recognize and remember I am creating pain in myself over something that hasn't happened. I do my best to make sure she is safe and healthy and enjoy the time with her I have. The little things are like stones across a brook...one day there actually might not be enough stones and you are swept away...but often we just stomp in the water and tell ourselves how miserable it is being wet because we WANT a solid bridge and not some stupid little stones to step on. But stones are what we've got.

couldn't have said it better. amazing.

 

[Alucard]

Reassure you : everything is going wrong...

"You got nothing to worry about ! Just take it easy !" The Texas Chainsaw Massacre by Tobe Hooper

 

[oopswronglife]

So then what do you do? Because I was on another forum where someone said if you think negativity then negative people are drawn to you vs positive. I mean should I just give up then because if the only thing I think is negative thoughts then everything in my life is fucked.

There isn't any "law of attraction" or some nonsense like that in my opinion. It's just cause and effect and human psychology. If your body language is defensive or aggressive others will respond to that. If you seem closed off and glare at them they will be afraid to approach you. If they are in a bad mood or a jerk looking for an excuse and you are confrontational they will take that excuse and put all their crap on you. If you are nice to them they are more likely to be nice to you...they get their ego filled or feel safe with you. Would you be more likely to pet a sweet and relaxed cat or one with its ears back and baring its teeth at you? It's just cause and effect...not magical energy.

That doesn't mean all bad things are because of how you appear or act. Sometimes people don't even need an excuse other than you being there and being a convenient target. It doesn't mean if people ignore you that you are doing something wrong. The cause can be their own problems or whatever and you are just an innocent bystander who they aren't even aware of.

It's normal to think negative thoughts when things are going bad...we dont want more...we dont want THESE. The best you can do is recognize you are having them...and tell yourself you arne't going to focus and spin in those thoughts. To try your best not to make others feel bad or worse with your own behavior. That's all the control we have but that gets twisted into some weird idea of big smiles and positive "energies" that are some magical gift bag by clueless people.

 

[woxihuanni]

Even the phrase 'positive thoughts' brings out the worst in me. People need positive things in their lives, not positive thoughts about fucking horrible things. Argh.

 

[Beautifulletdown]

Even the phrase 'positive thoughts' brings out the worst in me. People need positive things in their lives, not positive thoughts about fucking horrible things. Argh.

Nicely put. Thank you.

 

[Rollo]

It's not about "positivity" in the American self help meaning which is superficial nonsense with some weird idea that big smiles and wishing for things will be rewarded. It's about not making things worse in your mind than they really are.

Example: If you walk into a shop expecting the shopkeeper to be a jerk, you are going to show it in your body language, voice etc and that's going to make the shopkeeper react and be defensive and suddenly you have your "proof" the shopkeeper is a jerk and you are an idiot for going there because you knew better. But it was all manufactured. Now this isn't saying there aren't any jerk shopkeepers. It's not saying you always create all bad circumstances. It's trying to actively avoid creating the ones we do or making real ones worse.

But the problem is you don't know whether shopkeeper is going to be jerk or not when you walk into a shop. Unless you're actually wishing for things then you need to expect both scenarios. If he's not - cool. But if he is - then you will need to due handle him. Something which you probably fear. So naturally this fear will at least make you alert, affecting your demeanor. But if you're not being disrespectful - then there's no reason for him to react with disrespect unless he's an actual jerk being a jerk. And if he didn't react with disrespect, but say only grew wary of you, and yet you think he's a jerk - then this particular part you manufactured indeed. But a mere possibility of him being a jerk you didn't.

Somewhat relevant example from my personal experience. Just the other day I was walking through the streets. A street performer was playing guitar and had a jerk by his side. The jerk was asking people for money in a somewhat agressive manner. He rolled to me too and asked for money, I indicated no, then the jerk asked to 'support us by smile or applause'. Denied him once again. Which displeased him 'What are you incapable of smiling or something?', me 'Capable', "Well?" the jerk went while fully believing I owe him that smile and that he's gonna have the upper hand here. And the way he was speaking - If you've been fucked with you know the manner. So starting to warm up myself I went 'So what possible reason I have to smile right now when you're telling me to?! Are you kidding me, buddy?!'. Which was enough for drive him away without saying anything else.

-Go outside more and interacting with nature and such.
(depressing part(s) is that there's so many things I can think about like habitat destruction or how the land is owned or even how natural beauty is commercialized and I'll never have something like that, or how deadly nature can be and how much competition there is just to survive in the animal world while all these animals are trapped in their imprisoned bodies waiting to be consumed by nature or other living things.

That's the thing though - animals themselves don't wait to be consumed. They are having good time. Untill they're actually consumed. And even then some will die by heart attacks and hunter's head shots without much suffering if any. But even if there will be some notable suffering - it's going to be purely physical, not depression. Depression is how you feel.

 

[stellabelle]

I accept the reality of things and the downsides as you pointed out in your post. I struggle with similar concerns and fears. It's not right. It's not fair. But I can't be in a fit of anxiety over it (and believe me sometimes I absolutely am.) because that is not today, not here and now. I cannot look or peer too far ahead because I just don't know what's waiting around the corner. But what I can do is take the best of what's right now. And I try to do that as often as I can. Even in the most bitter of times. It's a struggle. But just try to keep to the present and make the most of that. I've learned that I can't overthink everything and put myself into corners about it. I try to distract myself a lot too, and keep busy.