Why are people so quick to call someone weird

[Aplev]

I watch the first two episodes of an anime, I don't like it but a lot of people say it's one of the greatest ever, I struggle on making a decision on whether to drop or not, I go to a subreddit about it and ask about what to expect from the coming episodes, and I get a lot, and I mean A LOT of hate of people, not to mention misunderstandings (which in retrospective might have been on purpose because they felt I was attacking the anime, the anime was very beloved to them, and they got defensive, I can understand because I also have shows I love but still some responses were a bit too extreme...). I guess maybe I am not as used to fandom toxicity because I am fairly new to these things but still. People treated me like I was so weird for expecting two episodes to be enough to set the scene, they started saying things like "remember when it took like 6 episodes to set up things? OP doesn't : | ", "had a good laugh", "this has to be a joke", "you are overthinking it", "just enjoy the anime and stop trying to write a critique", "it's just two episodes come on what are you expecting" etc. etc., I didn't want it to but it totally got to me truth be told and so I searched to see how weird it actually was to drop an anime because of the first two episodes, and, LOTS of people were dropping an anime even after the first episode and lots of people were upvoting such comments so apparently it's all about where you ask? Yeah deep inside I know that's it that's how it works but that doesn't mean I like it.
(Also not everything in the Internet is real yeah I know but I can't help it sometimes.)

And I experienced the same in other areas like programming, I posted a question about a problem I was having with a script I wrote, I gave context, and people started saying (thankfully not all though, this time someone did think like me) "how weird what you are doing", "what you are doing is so weird maybe you are not even a programmer but this task has been imposed on you?", like that was even insulting, I know I am letting it get to me but still how else am I to react to such a blatant statement? I didn't respond anyway, this time I did control that part of myself (other times I responded, it just gets worse, you can't talk with someone who's not willing to understand, it's that simple).

So the same story repeats, a tale as old as time, people only understand if they've been through it, otherwise they couldn't care less.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Because reddit sucks.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Same reason why people will assume that everyone else around them is a "normie" who is only capable of surface-level thinking. People tend to mainly focus on themselves and their own experiences and rarely think about others and the fact they are also complex human-beings with their own experiences. Everyone is either a weirdo because they talk about doing or seeing the world in a way that is different from you or they are some normie because you don't know them very well and thus they must be a bland person with no personality or because they have interests in things that don't appeal to you. Humans are very self-absorbed and very few people are able to take the time to consider and accept the fact that everyone is different and complex and that just because we don't get others doesn't automatically mean we get to cast judgement on them.

Also, you made the mistake of going onto reddit (And I'm saying this as someone who also uses reddit)

 

[Forever Sleep]

I suspect it makes them feel normal or clever or part of the 'in' group. Sadly, humans seem to be programmed so that the most intensely they are capable of feeling united is by ostracizing someone different. That seems to happen to varying intensities from mocking people to hate crimes to genocide.

We're such a weird species. I guess animals won't always tolerate other animals of the same species (depending on what it is.) It's usually competition for resources and mates that make them territorial. I suppose humans have that too. Wars are fought over land and resources. We manage to make up so much other shit though as to why not to like someone or, to see them as a threat. They have a different religion, they have a different sexual orientation, we don't like their haircut! It's actually quite frightening how much we can 'hate' someone when they're just living their life.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

That's just how most people are unfortunately. Humanity really isn't a good species

 

[Jiyuurakka]

Out of curiosity, what anime was it?

 

[Aplev]

Because reddit sucks.

I know, although to be honest, that was just an example, I experienced the same in other social media (like Discord or, well not social media technically speaking but YouTube) and in daily life too (I don't like saying "IRL" but that's what I mean by daily life). I think it's social media/people in general. I was always very closed to my own space to to speak, you know? It's only recently that I started using social media more often. Sometimes I wonder if I should have remained as lonely as I was (I mean I am still lonely but definitely using a lot more of social media lately), because of things I am seeing that might be very common to people who's been in these things since decades ago but are kind of shocking to me.

Same reason why people will assume that everyone else around them is a "normie" who is only capable of surface-level thinking. People tend to mainly focus on themselves and their own experiences and rarely think about others and the fact they are also complex human-beings with their own experiences. Everyone is either a weirdo because they talk about doing or seeing the world in a way that is different from you or they are some normie because you don't know them very well and thus they must be a bland person with no personality or because they have interests in things that don't appeal to you. Humans are very self-absorbed and very few people are able to take the time to consider and accept the fact that everyone is different and complex and that just because we don't get others doesn't automatically mean we get to cast judgement on them.

Also, you made the mistake of going onto reddit (And I'm saying this as someone who also uses reddit)

"Also you made the mistake of going onto reddit" I thought the same thing to myself, trust me, I don't need to hear it from other people :P (though the context of your message makes me think you are saying it somewhat jokingly). I think it all depends on where you ask and how exactly. I am going to sacrifice myself here (for the sake of anyone going through at least something similar to me) and say that I went to the very subreddit dedicated to that anime. Say whatever you want but I really hoped I'd get decent responses (though in the back of my mind, my rational mind did scream that was a bad idea, but all said and done, all parts of me were a little right, as I did get a few decent/interesting responses, so in that sense I don't really regret it, I just feel bad about the tons of horrible comments I read).

Oh and yeah I know people here use the term "normie" so if you (the reader) are one of them, that's fine, I just think that everyone is a normie at some point, it's all about perspective.

I suspect it makes them feel normal or clever or part of the 'in' group. Sadly, humans seem to be programmed so that the most intensely they are capable of feeling united is by ostracizing someone different. That seems to happen to varying intensities from mocking people to hate crimes to genocide.

We're such a weird species. I guess animals won't always tolerate other animals of the same species (depending on what it is.) It's usually competition for resources and mates that make them territorial. I suppose humans have that too. Wars are fought over land and resources. We manage to make up so much other shit though as to why not to like someone or, to see them as a threat. They have a different religion, they have a different sexual orientation, we don't like their haircut! It's actually quite frightening how much we can 'hate' someone when they're just living their life.

Yes, my thoughts exactly. While the title says "why", I know why, but I am still human you know, and humans beings are emotional not logical and that of course includes me, so, even if I know something logically, that doesn't mean I won't feel certain things (annoyance, sadness, rage, etc. etc.).

That's just how most people are unfortunately. Humanity really isn't a good species

Yeah, that includes all of us, I mean maybe the tone of my post makes it think like I am disregarding the fact that I am not any different. But no, I am very aware and I am bragging about it? Kinda.

Out of curiosity, what anime was it?

I just don't want to offend anyone here who enjoyed the anime, I want to leave clear that's valid, that said, it was NGE (Neon Genesis Evangelion). I gave a try to the following episodes and to me it's still more of the same so I still don't like it. Again, if anyone here does, that's fine, we all have different tastes.

 

[Jiyuurakka]

I just don't want to offend anyone here who enjoyed the anime, I want to leave clear that's valid, that said, it was NGE (Neon Genesis Evangelion). I gave a try to the following episodes and to me it's still more of the same so I still don't like it. Again, if anyone here does, that's fine, we all have different tastes.

I absolutely love Evangelion, and it's totally understandable if you don't like it. People lack the ability to look beyond what a piece of art has to offer and realise that not everyone can see what they see. But then again, I can't blame them, after all, they're limited to their own perception of things, just like I am.

 

[Aplev]

I absolutely love Evangelion, and it's totally understandable if you don't like it. People lack the ability to look beyond what a piece of art has to offer and realise that not everyone can see what they see. But then again, I can't blame them, after all, they're limited to their own perception of things, just like I am.

To be fair, it seems to be an anime that stands on its own but I got there with the expectation of seeing some dark, deep, heavy psychological/philosophical stuff with a protagonist (MC) that deeply explores the psyche of people with mental illness (take Welcome to the NHK for example, or Oregairu, more light-hearted but still fairly deep, specially seasons 2 and 3) and I found lots of robot fights with over-the-top action and fan service instead, also a lot of goofiness and light-heartedness (too much of it in my opinion, like a bit is alright). Part of why I am not enjoying it has a lot to do with that broken expectation/illusion, but if I leave that emotion aside and start seeing the anime for what it is, I can totally see why a lot of people love it. The main character (Shinji) is very relatable, like let's be honest, a lot of us who watch anime (not all but a lot) didn't have a lot of friends at school and that's exactly the situation Shinji goes through, also a lot of us felt like a lot of pressure was being put onto us and that's exactly what Shinji goes through. Also, a lot of us wished we were more popular with the girls (well, speaking from a guy's perspective here) and that's also what happens with Shinji. The goofiness and light-heartedness is something a lot of people enjoy because not everyone is comfortable with darker stuff. Robot fights, kids usually (not me, but I know it's the case for a lot of people) love a good action fight, where even if the 'good guys' win by mere luck (yes they had a plan but a lot of unexpected stuff happens and yet somehow they still get to win), there's a lot of tension in the fights and they get to cause that feeling of being on the edge of your seat wanting to know what's gonna happen and how they are going to defeat this seemingly undefeatable Angel. So in short, like I said, I can see why people enjoy it and if you were to focus on these aspects, it's actually very good, but if you start seeing it more from my perspective and the kind of anime I enjoy, it just doesn't have a lot of that, even though people say it has (and that's my big complain, lots of people said "you want characters with mental illnesses and lots of psychological/philosophical anaylisis, go see Evangelion, that's the anime for you!", and I find nothing of that).

 

[Jiyuurakka]

To be fair, it seems to be an anime that stands on its own but I got there with the expectation of seeing some dark, deep, heavy psychological/philosophical stuff with a protagonist (MC) that deeply explores the psyche of people with mental illness and I found lots of robot fights with over-the-top action and fan service instead, also a lot of goofiness and light-heartedness (too much of it in my opinion, like a bit is alright).

My favorite genres of media are also psychological, philosophical, and horror. I can go on a huge rant about why I love Evangelion, especially because I love the overall story, characters, themes and what the entire franchise means to me as a whole (considering the fact that Evangelion ends three times). I can see how pre-set expectations can ruin the enjoyment of any media, and also the fandoms that revolve around it. The Evangelion fandom is very off putting and filled with a vocal minority of people who are dead set on pushing their own narrative of what Evangelion is supposed to mean and dictate how people should interpret Eva. Personally, I really love ambiguous media and making my own interpretation of what it means based on what I think.

I think rather than vaguely putting my thoughts into words, I'm going to show a small piece of what Evangelion can be. You've only see two episodes so far, and it's your right to drop it. However, if you want a chance to be persuaded, you can see this little scene that is one of my highlights of the show.



I think this scene is rather spoiler free in terms of plot and showcases the amount of depth characters can have in this show. It's popularly referred to as "Rei's poem." Give it a view and see if it's to your liking.

 

[ringo99]

Was every single comment directed towards your queries negative?

 

[Peerless_Cucumber]

I've dropped animes after the first few minutes of the first episode. Idk what they're on about.

 

[Aplev]

My favorite genres of media are also psychological, philosophical, and horror. I can go on a huge rant about why I love Evangelion, especially because I love the overall story, characters, themes and what the entire franchise means to me as a whole (considering the fact that Evangelion ends three times). I can see how pre-set expectations can ruin the enjoyment of any media, and also the fandoms that revolve around it. The Evangelion fandom is very off putting and filled with a vocal minority of people who are dead set on pushing their own narrative of what Evangelion is supposed to mean and dictate how people should interpret Eva. Personally, I really love ambiguous media and making my own interpretation of what it means based on what I think.

I think rather than vaguely putting my thoughts into words, I'm going to show a small piece of what Evangelion can be. You've only see two episodes so far, and it's your right to drop it. However, if you want a chance to be persuaded, you can see this little scene that is one of my highlights of the show.



I think this scene is rather spoiler free in terms of plot and showcases the amount of depth characters can have in this show. It's popularly referred to as "Rei's poem." Give it a view and see if it's to your liking.

I actually decided to give another try to Evangelion and everything I said was being on Episode 10 (last watched Episode 9) and I am planning to watch a few more today. It definitely got closer to what I like in anime (also that's cool that you also enjoy this kind of anime! This probably won't sound good but I feel like I am more willing to listen to you lol), but it still feels, I hope I am choosing the right word here, inconsistent. There are some very interesting scenes but I feel they are thrown in the middle of a lot of more sexual/action oriented scenes so you don't pay as much attention to them (spoiler ahead: like that scene where Misato kisses with Kaji in the elevator, and the following dialogue where we get to explore some of her feelings, or that scene where Rei and Shinji talk for a bit just before and after fighting one of the Angels spoiler end). And well truth be told, I am still somewhat offput by the fact I was treated as "weird" for thinking about something I am sure lots of other people have done too (dropping a classic anime on episode 2 or even on episode 1), with the only difference they didn't post about it and I did (what can I say, I am very open-minded and I can't just judge things, so I ask for other people's opinions to see if maybe I am missing something). It's like it's there on my head as I continue watching the episodes, by which I mean to say that perhaps had things gone differently, I might have actually enjoyed it/would be enjoying it more. It's also the fact that I used to want to watch/read/play/consume every little media out there just for the sake of saying "I have consumed it and I have the right to talk about it with elaborate arguments", and I changed that, and then people come and tell me this, it feels like I've been wrong all along and I should have sticked to that mentality of consuming every little media out there even if I don't enjoy it.

So there's also personal factors involved, and another personal factor is that when I was younger, kids in my school used to want to play with robots, cars, and in general, used to love action-focused media while I in general didn't like it and because it made me feel excluded from other kids, I came to despise media that featured even slightly this kind of themes. I understand they are not necessarily related (having action-focused scenes doesn't mean the anime is bad) but like I said it's a strong emotional factor that also drives me away.

As for the video, wow, yes that's what I mean, it's not like Evangelion doesn't have that kind of scenes, but that's Episode 14 and I understand the first episodes might be build-up, I just think there are other ways of building-up which I personally enjoy more. Have you watched Welcome to the NHK? I think the work there building-up was fantastic, how they crush your heart at the very end with the truth of it all, but really they were telling you about it all along, it just wasn't as noticeable. Another example I can think of is Odd Taxi, quite different I think in many ways but still with that aura of mystery and psychology that I enjoy. Evangelion instead I feel it's not setting the scene, I think it's very inconsistent in how it tells the story (I hope it doesn't come as offensive, again I understand we all have different tastes and maybe some people enjoy this sort of build-up, I just want to leave clear I don't mind media being slow as some people seemed to understand from my other post, in fact I enjoy it, I just think there are many ways to build-up and I personally didn't/don't like how Evangelion is doing it).

Was every single comment directed towards your queries negative?

No, there were I think 2 or 3 people that actually responded my questions I had about the anime, in fact I don't really regret my decision of doing the post because while I received like 20-30 or so negative comments, those positive comments were fairly valuable. No one said my post wasn't weird though, which is what left me with a bad taste in my tongue but yeah, tradeoffs.

It's the power of validation I think. And of trauma. I was raised pretty much without friends and excluded from the rest of society, behaved differently of other kids, would often sit alone in the classroom while everyone else played outside etc. etc. that kind of thing, so every time someone calls me weird it really triggers me no matter how hard I try not to get triggered. Logically speaking, I understand what they are saying is nothing more than their own opinion based on their own limited perspective of the world but emotionally speaking I go all unstable like I am living a lie and my life depends on demonstrating it's not a lie, it's true, I am not weird and I have to demonstrate you are wrong, that's how it feels when it happens.

I've dropped animes after the first few minutes of the first episode. Idk what they're on about.

This is exactly what I meant, thank you for sharing it. I know there are lots of people like us, there's nothing weird about it. The reaction of the vast majority was crazy to say the least.

 

[Jiyuurakka]

I actually decided to give another try to Evangelion and everything I said was being on Episode 10 (last watched Episode 9) and I am planning to watch a few more today. It definitely got closer to what I like in anime (also that's cool that you also enjoy this kind of anime! This probably won't sound good but I feel like I am more willing to listen to you lol), but it still feels, I hope I am choosing the right word here, inconsistent. There are some very interesting scenes but I feel they are thrown in the middle of a lot of more sexual/action oriented scenes so you don't pay as much attention to them (spoiler ahead: like that scene where Misato kisses with Kaji in the elevator, and the following dialogue where we get to explore some of her feelings, or that scene where Rei and Shinji talk for a bit just before and after fighting one of the Angels spoiler end). And well truth be told, I am still somewhat offput by the fact I was treated as "weird" for thinking about something I am sure lots of other people have done too (dropping a classic anime on episode 2 or even on episode 1), with the only difference they didn't post about it and I did (what can I say, I am very open-minded and I can't just judge things, so I ask for other people's opinions to see if maybe I am missing something). It's like it's there on my head as I continue watching the episodes, by which I mean to say that perhaps had things gone differently, I might have actually enjoyed it/would be enjoying it more. It's also the fact that I used to want to watch/read/play/consume every little media out there just for the sake of saying "I have consumed it and I have the right to talk about it with elaborate arguments", and I changed that, and then people come and tell me this, it feels like I've been wrong all along and I should have sticked to that mentality of consuming every little media out there even if I don't enjoy it.

So there's also personal factors involved, and another personal factor is that when I was younger, kids in my school used to want to play with robots, cars, and in general, used to love action-focused media while I in general didn't like it and because it made me feel excluded from other kids, I came to despise media that featured even slightly this kind of themes. I understand they are not necessarily related (having action-focused scenes doesn't mean the anime is bad) but like I said it's a strong emotional factor that also drives me away.

As for the video, wow, yes that's what I mean, it's not like Evangelion doesn't have that kind of scenes, but that's Episode 14 and I understand the first episodes might be build-up, I just think there are other ways of building-up which I personally enjoy more. Have you watched Welcome to the NHK? I think the work there building-up was fantastic, how they crush your heart at the very end with the truth of it all, but really they were telling you about it all along, it just wasn't as noticeable. Another example I can think of is Odd Taxi, quite different I think in many ways but still with that aura of mystery and psychology that I enjoy. Evangelion instead I feel it's not setting the scene, I think it's very inconsistent in how it tells the story (I hope it doesn't come as offensive, again I understand we all have different tastes and maybe some people enjoy this sort of build-up, I just want to leave clear I don't mind media being slow as some people seemed to understand from my other post, in fact I enjoy it, I just think there are many ways to build-up and I personally didn't/don't like how Evangelion is doing it).

I'm glad you're much more open to my words! Discussion about media is done with a lot of bad faith these days, especially on online forums, that's why I tend to stick to my own line of thought and bring myself to criticise them without directly interacting with the person who has the opposite opinion online. You don't have to doubt yourself and enjoy everything that's out there, it's really upto you. As long as you have the right people to discuss it with, you'll have a pleasant time. Having biases based on real life experiences is a very human thing to do, it's all well and good.

There are a lot of sexual themes in Evangelion as well, it's neatly dispersed in a number of characters and carries heavy significance. As for the consistency, you're in for a wild ride. Evangelion has a wild pace and you'll see that progressively evolve over time. There are a number of ways to build up a story over time, sometimes it's subtle and nuanced, other times it's very slow. I don't particularly mind the pace though, nor the coherence of a story. A story always has something to say and carries something of substance according to an artist, that's what I'm focused on when I interpret it, not necessarily criticising how it's presented. Although I do heavily care about presentation, it can truly make a story feel extra special.

I've watched Oregairu, Welcome to the NHK and Odd Taxi. I love all of them as well, along with a huge number of similar stuff. That's what I seek a lot of usually, but I also tend to enjoy things that are on the lighter side.

 

[Aplev]

I'm glad you're much more open to my words! Discussion about media is done with a lot of bad faith these days, especially on online forums, that's why I tend to stick to my own line of thought and bring myself to criticise them without directly interacting with the person who has the opposite opinion online. You don't have to doubt yourself and enjoy everything that's out there, it's really upto you. As long as you have the right people to discuss it with, you'll have a pleasant time. Having biases based on real life experiences is a very human thing to do, it's all well and good.

There are a lot of sexual themes in Evangelion as well, it's neatly dispersed in a number of characters and carries heavy significance. As for the consistency, you're in for a wild ride. Evangelion has a wild pace and you'll see that progressively evolve over time. There are a number of ways to build up a story over time, sometimes it's subtle and nuanced, other times it's very slow. I don't particularly mind the pace though, nor the coherence of a story. A story always has something to say and carries something of substance according to an artist, that's what I'm focused on when I interpret it, not necessarily criticising how it's presented. Although I do heavily care about presentation, it can truly make a story feel extra special.

I've watched Oregairu, Welcome to the NHK and Odd Taxi. I love all of them as well, along with a huge number of similar stuff. That's what I seek a lot of usually, but I also tend to enjoy things that are on the lighter side.

That's the thing, while I think it's much easier for me to do now than it was in the past, it's still near-impossible for me to stick to my own thoughts and feelings. At first, I would remain silent and block all contact with the outside (but still feeling highly influenced by anything that happened near my surroundings, but locking myself was my way of avoiding confusions regarding what I really thought and felt about things), which is what I meant to say when I said that being more social is quite new to me, as shocking as that may sound or look to others. Now I just want to express my thoughts out there, wanting to not care about what other people say, but the truth is it gets to me and who knows, maybe one day it won't anymore.

Which is another reason why Evangelion triggers uncomfortable feelings in me. The pace might be intentionally wild and confusing, but that same pace reminds me of turbulent times where my own mind was and in some ways still is like that. I am an artist (I write stories) and while my style remains somewhat intact, I think it's still undeniable that it has changed in a significant number of ways and significantly, and a lot of it has to do with being more ordered and tidied/organized with the way I convey my ideas through my work. But if people appreciate an anime like Evangelion which I think objectively speaking is a lot of chaos (intentionally for what I understand), then maybe people who thought my work wasn't worth were wrong and I actually was right (that at least some people enjoy that stuff).

It's like, I feel like I've been lied and that's tough to digest. I changed my style, and it turns out people actually like it? I changed just because I was too weak to remain loyal to my own principles? I suck. Yes, that's a lot of negative self talk but I couldn't help it. It's like I can't accept that art that plays with pace works because that would imply I changed for nothing maybe even for worse and that really hurts, to think of all the stuff that I potentially lost just because I wasn't faithful to myself/took other people's opinions too seriously. Probably the most ironic part is that maybe I really don't like inconsistent pacing as much as I thought, but somehow the only way to get over it is putting it into words, then all of a sudden it feels like I never liked it in the first place, but because I felt ashamed by people for a period of my life where I thought I liked it, I had to say 'I like it', to finally say 'nah, I really don't like it'. It feels like maybe I am unconsciously seeking to regain control of myself and say "no" not because of other people's opinions of my 'inconsistent' work, but because I sincerely and genuinely do not like it.

But on the bright side, yaaayy, finally someone who watched the same anime as I did! A lot of people in the post were saying they didn't watch such shows, which honestly surprised me since I thought they are all more or less on the same page. Now I am even more willing to listen to you :) lol, people pleasing tendencies level up! Ok just kidding :P .

I also tend to enjoy media on the lighter side, as much emphasis as I did on how I like the darker side :) (which, again, has a lot to do with wanting one part of me to be fully acknowledged, and that might lead me to say that I hate light-hearted stuff, but I actually don't). By the way, do you mind if I DM you at some point? I'd like to talk more about anime and get some recommendations, if that's fine with you of course, if not you don't have to respond, I'll just take it as a no :) .

 

[sserafim]

Because people want someone to other. That's how they bond and get closer. The normies will always band together and ostracize those who don't fit in

 

[Jiyuurakka]

That's the thing, while I think it's much easier for me to do now than it was in the past, it's still near-impossible for me to stick to my own thoughts and feelings. At first, I would remain silent and block all contact with the outside (but still feeling highly influenced by anything that happened near my surroundings, but locking myself was my way of avoiding confusions regarding what I really thought and felt about things), which is what I meant to say when I said that being more social is quite new to me, as shocking as that may sound or look to others. Now I just want to express my thoughts out there, wanting to not care about what other people say, but the truth is it gets to me and who knows, maybe one day it won't anymore.

It gets to all of us, some people are better at dealing with it then others. I find confusion and self doubt to be some of the worst things a person can experience, it can really make someone spiral down to a horrible place. That's why I'm quite careful with my wording. I don't like being consumed by self doubt so I try not to make others feel the same. We are dealing with people after all, I don't like toying with them. I don't like seeing people wallow in self doubt, no matter who they are or what they do.

Which is another reason why Evangelion triggers uncomfortable feelings in me. The pace might be intentionally wild and confusing, but that same pace reminds me of turbulent times where my own mind was and in some ways still is like that. I am an artist (I write stories) and while my style remains somewhat intact, I think it's still undeniable that it has changed in a significant number of ways and significantly, and a lot of it has to do with being more ordered and tidied/organized with the way I convey my ideas through my work. But if people appreciate an anime like Evangelion which I think objectively speaking is a lot of chaos (intentionally for what I understand), then maybe people who thought my work wasn't worth were wrong and I actually was right (that at least some people enjoy that stuff).

I understand, I'm a writer as well (although my own writing confuses me sometimes ). I focus on maintaining the sancticity of my work as well and don't really seek the approval of others, it should stand by itself as having value and should lie independent of others.

It's like, I feel like I've been lied and that's tough to digest. I changed my style, and it turns out people actually like it? I changed just because I was too weak to remain loyal to my own principles? I suck. Yes, that's a lot of negative self talk but I couldn't help it. It's like I can't accept that art that plays with pace works because that would imply I changed for nothing maybe even for worse and that really hurts, to think of all the stuff that I potentially lost just because I wasn't faithful to myself/took other people's opinions too seriously. Probably the most ironic part is that maybe I really don't like inconsistent pacing as much as I thought, but somehow the only way to get over it is putting it into words, then all of a sudden it feels like I never liked it in the first place, but because I felt ashamed by people for a period of my life where I thought I liked it, I had to say 'I like it', to finally say 'nah, I really don't like it'. It feels like maybe I am unconsciously seeking to regain control of myself and say "no" not because of other people's opinions of my 'inconsistent' work, but because I sincerely and genuinely do not like it.

There's a lot to unpack here. You were pressured to act disingenuously in order to be genuine to yourself. That's quite a thought loop, one that must feel very burdening to you. I've been in the same shoes as well, acting one way in front of other people then discarding it all together in the next. The way I see it, both actions are perfectly genuine because in the moment, we felt it was genuine. Trying to judge our own circumstances right after that moment will make it look as if we were being disingenuous to ourselves while in reality, we were being honest back then. Recognising that might bring some solace.

But on the bright side, yaaayy, finally someone who watched the same anime as I did! A lot of people in the post were saying they didn't watch such shows, which honestly surprised me since I thought they are all more or less on the same page. Now I am even more willing to listen to you :) lol, people pleasing tendencies level up! Ok just kidding :P. I also tend to enjoy media on the lighter side, as much emphasis as I did on how I like the darker side :) (which, again, has a lot to do with wanting one part of me to be fully acknowledged, and that might lead me to say that I hate light-hearted stuff, but I actually don't). By the way, do you mind if I DM you at some point? I'd like to talk more about anime and get some recommendations, if that's fine with you of course, if not you don't have to respond, I'll just take it as a no :) .

Hahaha, the way you think is so perfectly contradictory that it makes a lot of sense to me. There's no need to act in any other way than what makes sense to you at the moment, it's all the same anyways, I'm able to see through all that. I'm completely open to any DMs. I love reading and listening to how people see things differently in contrast to my perspective. If you have any thoughts to share, feel free to DM me. I might have a few recommendations as well.

 

[Meteora]

Because they re retarded.

 

[GreenOctober]

The goal of life is to control the immediate environment and that sentiment seeps into all aspects of living even trivial ones. With limited time and brain power it's easier to put simple labels on things and consider a topic finished rather then put your whole foot into the water and be immersed.

 

[BrainShower]

Because most people are bleating sheep that group together and look for any chance to exclude any non-sheep entity. Hence the sheep's clothing that the wolf wore. :)

 

[Aplev]

Because they re retarded.

I don't like calling people names but... yeah.

The goal of life is to control the immediate environment and that sentiment seeps into all aspects of living even trivial ones. With limited time and brain power it's easier to put simple labels on things and consider a topic finished rather then put your whole foot into the water and be immersed.

Yup, it's just easier, even though it brings so many problems on so many different levels. I like how you said 'immediate' also. Pretty much none of us (unconsciously speaking at least) care whatever happens to anything that is not immediate.

Because most people are bleating sheep that group together and look for any chance to exclude any non-sheep entity. Hence the sheep's clothing that the wolf wore. :)

That's so interesting, the wolf wore the sheep's clothing so he would be accepted in the group. We really find the different unpleasant.

 

[Abyssal]

Judgemental parents create judgemental children. If that sounds like a cop out then remember that they are stuck in a cycle where nobody has thought "hey maybe I should be pleasant to be around" so it's another case of asshole creates asshole

 

[Meteora]

I don't like calling people names but... yeah.

Guess sometimes we gotta call a spade a spade.

 

[Red Moon]

I think that's just how people are and I'm guessing people want to make their own groups and exclude people that aren't in their group, also by placing labels on people, it's the same with the word "normie"

 

[theboy]

stigma

 

[vitbar]

there's nowt so queer as folk