(Plz read fully) Looks like my SN plan has been botched (Serious) (I have to CTB much earlier than expected, no choice)

[PracheenKaal_00!]

For context (link):
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/sn-arrived.133397/

This is serious, I literally mean SERIOUS.
As I have previously mentioned I do not fake post stuff, and I'm not a pro-lifer. Whatever I've posted is genuine.

Looks like my mom knows something is not right.
Apparently, it looks like my lie did not convince her properly .

Now she's mentioned that I have to do the SN food experiment in front of her. Also, she asked me if I have opened the package yet. Additionally she wants to know where I've stored the SN package at home. She wants to have a one-on-one discussion with me about the SN order. She knows that something is not right. FML. I'm panicking rn. F**k.

She's yet to have the discussion about the SN with me. I hope that she forgets about it. (But I doubt that it will happen. F*****g hell).
I have ordered 2 bottles. So I plan to hide 1 bottle and show her where I've kept the other bottle. I hope that she won't know that I have 2 SN bottles.

The delivery would have gone to plan if it wasn't for the bloody OTP required during delivery. If I did not share the OTP (as I was in university attending classes), my mom would have returned the SN, or she would have figured the intentions out herself. Bloody hell. why tf OTP for delivery whyyyy.

I have to CTB much earlier than expected due to the situation I'm in. This means that I have to CTB by coming Saturday, or by next weekend at max. This means no proper suicide note etc. Also,tThis means that I may not be able to get my hands on Benzos and antiemetics. I will have to do with paracetamol, painkillers and sleeping pills etc. At-least I still have the SN.

Fucking shame on me, shame on bloody worthless me. This proves that I'm an worthless asshole.
My serious advice to y'all. Order SN as the last step once y'all have procured other items for this method. Plz keep that in mind.
I'm a fucking worthless idiot. I deserve to die.

Since I'm at home and live with my family (i.e. my parents and a sibling), I cannot fast. So i'll try to consume less food and fast from 8pm till 4 am, then I'll consume paracetamol etc, and SN. I cannot test the SN due to the bloody situation I'm in.

I have to CTB at home in the bathroom and overdose on SN, and cut my wrist (I know a bad idea but I have no other choice left) and hope that I'm not discovered for the next 2 hours. Hopefully I will die by then.

I do not want to harbor hate against my mom and anyone else. But If my plans are discovered and I'm forced to get help/ forcefully shoved into a psych ward (a nightmare in my country), I will never forgive my mom and anyone else. I literally mean it and I am fucking serious. I will CTB no matter what. They have no right to force me to live. IDC. It's selfish of them to force me to live.

I will keep y'all updated for sure.
Takeaway : Don't be a fucking worthless idiot like me, order SN as the last step.

I'll keep y'all updated.
quick update: my mom got to know it's a posionous substance and it's banned in other nations.
I guess I'll have to ctb this sat.
I'm on the verge of breaking down.
I'm literally panicking so badly....
.
My situation has gotten a lot worse...
fuck my life screw me I am an idiot..

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds like a really stressful situation, I really hate how this society is so anti-suicide, it's inhumane how suicidal people have to fear being locked in psych wards. But anyway I hope that you find freedom from your suffering.

 

[strawb12]

I had a similar problem the first time I ordered SN, my mum not only found out I'd ordered SN, but also my antiacid. & she's a doctor so she's super serious when it comes to taking medication without the doctors advice. Thank god she never looked into it. Anyways I'm super sorry about your situation it sounds so awful. My only advice would be to hide any extra medications & SN that you don't use. That way if you do end up failing when you eventually get out of the psych ward you won't have to restart everything. It sounds like you only need an antiemetic & benzos so make sure you're extra pills arn't found or you'll have to reaquire those too which is a pain in the ass since you'll be being watched pretty closely if you fail.

 

[cscott]

For context (link):
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/sn-arrived.133397/

This is serious, I literally mean SERIOUS.
As I have previously mentioned I do not fake post stuff, and I'm not a pro-lifer. Whatever I've posted is genuine.

Looks like my mom knows something is not right.
Apparently, it looks like my lie did not convince her properly .

Now she's mentioned that I have to do the SN food experiment in front of her. Also, she asked me if I have opened the package yet. Additionally she wants to know where I've stored the SN package at home. She wants to have a one-on-one discussion with me about the SN order. She knows that something is not right. FML. I'm panicking rn. F**k.

She's yet to have the discussion about the SN with me. I hope that she forgets about it. (But I doubt that it will happen. F*****g hell).
I have ordered 2 bottles. So I plan to hide 1 bottle and show her where I've kept the other bottle. I hope that she won't know that I have 2 SN bottles.

The delivery would have gone to plan if it wasn't for the bloody OTP required during delivery. If I did not share the OTP (as I was in university attending classes), my mom would have returned the SN, or she would have figured the intentions out herself. Bloody hell. why tf OTP for delivery whyyyy.

I have to CTB much earlier than expected due to the situation I'm in. This means that I have to CTB by coming Saturday, or by next weekend at max. This means no proper suicide note etc. Also,tThis means that I may not be able to get my hands on Benzos and antiemetics. I will have to do with paracetamol, painkillers and sleeping pills etc. At-least I still have the SN.

Fucking shame on me, shame on bloody worthless me. This proves that I'm an worthless asshole.
My serious advice to y'all. Order SN as the last step once y'all have procured other items for this method. Plz keep that in mind.
I'm a fucking worthless idiot. I deserve to die.

Since I'm at home and live with my family (i.e. my parents and a sibling), I cannot fast. So i'll try to consume less food and fast from 8pm till 4 am, then I'll consume paracetamol etc, and SN. I cannot test the SN due to the bloody situation I'm in.

I have to CTB at home in the bathroom and overdose on SN, and cut my wrist (I know a bad idea but I have no other choice left) and hope that I'm not discovered for the next 2 hours. Hopefully I will die by then.

I do not want to harbor hate against my mom and anyone else. But If my plans are discovered and I'm forced to get help/ forcefully shoved into a psych ward (a nightmare in my country), I will never forgive my mom and anyone else. I literally mean it and I am fucking serious. I will CTB no matter what. They have no right to force me to live. IDC. It's selfish of them to force me to live.

I will keep y'all updated for sure.
Takeaway : Don't be a fucking worthless idiot like me, order SN as the last step.

I'll keep y'all updated.

I'm pretty sure you can fast for 8 hours without someone noticing.. just say ur just not hungry that particular morning or whatever .. u can ac wake up and eat until 3pm and midnight & 10pm or later take SN..

U can hide one bottle & show her and that gives u time to get other tablets. U just need AE's now .. if u got benzos

Also u can write all ur letters today..

& if it's that deep go library or go buy a meat curing book & cure meet in front of her or say your trying it out or Yh it's for uni some shit.

I deffo think you can relax & just evaluate somethings.. when she talks with you show her u was about to buy meat curing book ..put in ur Amazon basket & learn a lil on it so it looks like you really are experimenting ..

I'm sure it would be better in ur room alone. And at night when everyone one is deffo asleep and would be best to not find u until deffo morning .. ?

 

[PracheenKaal_00!]

That sounds like a really stressful situation, I really hate how this society is so anti-suicide, it's inhumane how suicidal people have to fear being locked in psych wards. But anyway I hope that you find freedom from your suffering.

I DO NOT want to be locked up in a psych ward. It's a nightmare in the country that I'm from.
If i'm locked up in a psych ward, my life will be further ruined. And people will treat me a a full permanent outcast. Not a good scenario for all.
It's just too difficult to CTB.

I had a similar problem the first time I ordered SN, my mum not only found out I'd ordered SN, but also my antiacid. & she's a doctor so she's super serious when it comes to taking medication without the doctors advice. Thank god she never looked into it. Anyways I'm super sorry about your situation it sounds so awful. My only advice would be to hide any extra medications & SN that you don't use. That way if you do end up failing when you eventually get out of the psych ward you won't have to restart everything. It sounds like you only need an antiemetic & benzos so make sure you're extra pills arn't found or you'll have to reaquire those too which is a pain in the ass since you'll be being watched pretty closely if you fail.

I am doubtful if I can procure benzos and antiemetics due to my current situation. Looks like my plans are botched up .
I hope my mom forgets and doesn't talk about the SN. If I am sure she won't talk about it i'll try to get benzos and antiemetics.
The issue is if i order antiemetics, my mom will get more suspicious, and y plans could be ruined permanently.
I have a chance of getting benzos due to my terrible anxiety. I just have to obtain it secretly.

& if it's that deep go library or go buy a meat curing book & cure meet in front of her or say your trying it out or Yh it's for uni some shit.


I'm sure it would be better in ur room alone.

I am a vegetarian. Doesn't help.
Secondly, she will figure it out if she gets more suspicious.

I live in a 2bhk apartment, no room to myself .
I have to do it in a bathroom and hope to not be found atlrest for 2 hours.
Quick update : She got to know it's a poisonous substance and it's banned in other nations. Fuck my life.
Guess I'll have to CTB this saturday. I'll update y'all
I' on the verge of breaking down .
I'm panicking badly. Why did I end up in this situation whyyyyyyy. Screw me.
Why am I so cursed to be in a situation like this.
Whiy can;t I peacefully CTB.
Whyyyyyy.

 

[dialogos]

I DO NOT want to be locked up in a psych ward. It's a nightmare in the country that I'm from.
If i'm locked up in a psych ward, my life will be further ruined. And people will treat me a a full permanent outcast. Not a good scenario for all.
It's just too difficult to CTB.

I am doubtful if I can procure benzos and antiemetics due to my current situation. Looks like my plans are botched up .
I hope my mom forgets and doesn't talk about the SN. If I am sure she won't talk about it i'll try to get benzos and antiemetics.
The issue is if i order antiemetics, my mom will get more suspicious, and y plans could be ruined permanently.
I have a chance of getting benzos due to my terrible anxiety. I just have to obtain it secretly.

I am a vegetarian. Doesn't help.
Secondly, she will figure it out if she gets more suspicious.

I live in a 2bhk apartment, no room to myself .
I have to do it in a bathroom and hope to not be found atlrest for 2 hours.
Quick update : She got to know it's a poisonous substance and it's banned in other nations. Fuck my life.
Guess I'll have to CTB this saturday. I'll update y'all
I' on the verge of breaking down .
I'm panicking badly. Why did I end up in this situation whyyyyyyy. Screw me.
Why am I so cursed to be in a situation like this.
Whiy can;t I peacefully CTB.
Whyyyyyy.

Why do you want to CTB? Anything wrong in your life?

 

[PracheenKaal_00!]

Why do you want to CTB? Anything wrong in your life?

My severely worsening mental health.
Uncontrollable facial expressions getting worse with the progressing days.
The mentally and psychologically damaging bullying I faced during my school years till high school.
Extremely terrible social anxiety.
And a lot more..
I have already given up. Only CTB will give me freedom and peace. Living is not an option.

 

[dialogos]

My severely worsening mental health.
Uncontrollable facial expressions getting worse with the progressing days.
The mentally and psychologically damaging bullying I faced during my school years till high school.
Extremely terrible social anxiety.
And a lot more..
I have already given up. Only CTB will give me freedom and peace. Living is not an option.

Oh, now I remember. Have you told your parents you don't want to go to school or other social settings anymore since you can't control your facial expressions anymore and they should not be blind to what's really happening to you? There are now plenty of open schools offering hs diplomas, bachelor's degrees etc so you don't have to be physically present at all.

 

[dggtscccvfd]

For context (link):
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/sn-arrived.133397/

This is serious, I literally mean SERIOUS.
As I have previously mentioned I do not fake post stuff, and I'm not a pro-lifer. Whatever I've posted is genuine.

Looks like my mom knows something is not right.
Apparently, it looks like my lie did not convince her properly .

Now she's mentioned that I have to do the SN food experiment in front of her. Also, she asked me if I have opened the package yet. Additionally she wants to know where I've stored the SN package at home. She wants to have a one-on-one discussion with me about the SN order. She knows that something is not right. FML. I'm panicking rn. F**k.

She's yet to have the discussion about the SN with me. I hope that she forgets about it. (But I doubt that it will happen. F*****g hell).
I have ordered 2 bottles. So I plan to hide 1 bottle and show her where I've kept the other bottle. I hope that she won't know that I have 2 SN bottles.

The delivery would have gone to plan if it wasn't for the bloody OTP required during delivery. If I did not share the OTP (as I was in university attending classes), my mom would have returned the SN, or she would have figured the intentions out herself. Bloody hell. why tf OTP for delivery whyyyy.

I have to CTB much earlier than expected due to the situation I'm in. This means that I have to CTB by coming Saturday, or by next weekend at max. This means no proper suicide note etc. Also,tThis means that I may not be able to get my hands on Benzos and antiemetics. I will have to do with paracetamol, painkillers and sleeping pills etc. At-least I still have the SN.

Fucking shame on me, shame on bloody worthless me. This proves that I'm an worthless asshole.
My serious advice to y'all. Order SN as the last step once y'all have procured other items for this method. Plz keep that in mind.
I'm a fucking worthless idiot. I deserve to die.

Since I'm at home and live with my family (i.e. my parents and a sibling), I cannot fast. So i'll try to consume less food and fast from 8pm till 4 am, then I'll consume paracetamol etc, and SN. I cannot test the SN due to the bloody situation I'm in.

I have to CTB at home in the bathroom and overdose on SN, and cut my wrist (I know a bad idea but I have no other choice left) and hope that I'm not discovered for the next 2 hours. Hopefully I will die by then.

I do not want to harbor hate against my mom and anyone else. But If my plans are discovered and I'm forced to get help/ forcefully shoved into a psych ward (a nightmare in my country), I will never forgive my mom and anyone else. I literally mean it and I am fucking serious. I will CTB no matter what. They have no right to force me to live. IDC. It's selfish of them to force me to live.

I will keep y'all updated for sure.
Takeaway : Don't be a fucking worthless idiot like me, order SN as the last step.

I'll keep y'all updated.
quick update: my mom got to know it's a posionous substance and it's banned in other nations.
I guess I'll have to ctb this sat.
I'm on the verge of breaking down.
I'm literally panicking so badly....
.
My situation has gotten a lot worse...
fuck my life screw me I am an idiot..

Why do you have to cut your wrist? You have SN…

 

[PracheenKaal_00!]

Oh, now I remember. Have you told your parents you don't want to go to school or other social settings anymore since you can't control your facial expressions anymore and they should not be blind to what's really happening to you? There are now plenty of open schools offering hs diplomas, bachelor's degrees etc so you don't have to be physically present at all.

The uncontrollable facial expression condition started somewhere around mid april and it has been getting worse.
Also, I am in the final year of my university degree.

They (parents) are kinda aware of it, but they are not aware of the severity of it. They think it's social anxiety when it's not.
And it's not easy to change universities in my country (added to the fact that my second last semester classes has already started).
The situation is really complicated.

Btw, whatever i've typed is the truth. I am not faking anything, not fake posting stuff.
It feels like I am becoming a prisoner of myself.

Why do you have to cut your wrist? You have SN…

As a backup Just in case.
All thanks to the situation I'm in.
I want to CTB successfully under any cost. No room for failure.
I do not want to live anymore.

I have to CTB under the circumstances and the situation that I'm in.
My plans have been derailed. This is my immediate emergency CTB plan.
I do not have a choice. Either I CTB successfully, or I risk forcefully getting into treatment. Or at worse ending up in a psych ward that's a nightmare in my country that I'm from.

It's not easy to CTB .
Especially when living with parents and a sibling.

 

[dggtscccvfd]

The uncontrollable facial expression condition started somewhere around mid april and it has been getting worse.
Also, I am in the final year of my university degree.

They (parents) are kinda aware of it, but they are not aware of the severity of it. They think it's social anxiety when it's not.
And it's not easy to change universities in my country (added to the fact that my second last semester classes has already started).
The situation is really complicated.

Btw, whatever i've typed is the truth. I am not faking anything, not fake posting stuff.
It feels like I am becoming a prisoner of myself.


As a backup Just in case.
All thanks to the situation I'm in.
I want to CTB successfully under any cost. No room for failure.
I do not want to live anymore.

I have to CTB under the circumstances and the situation that I'm in.
My plans have been derailed. This is my immediate emergency CTB plan.
I do not have a choice. Either I CTB successfully, or I risk forcefully getting into treatment. Or at worse ending up in a psych ward that's a nightmare in my country that I'm from.

It's not easy to CTB .
Especially when living with parents and a sibling.

Slitting your wrists is really a bad idea. It's unlikely to work and could cause permanent damage; you might lose the ability to use your hand.

I still don't get it. You have SN, why not just take the SN? Why do you feel the need to slit your wrists at the same time? It seems to me that you would be causing yourself unnecessary pain. SN is quite a reliable method, whilst slitting your wrists isn't.

 

[AlouA]

My severely worsening mental health.
Uncontrollable facial expressions getting worse with the progressing days.
The mentally and psychologically damaging bullying I faced during my school years till high school.
Extremely terrible social anxiety.
And a lot more..
I have already given up. Only CTB will give me freedom and peace. Living is not an option.

I really feel you on that one...

 

[absolutelyyou]

I'm so sorry you are going through not only the things going on in your life that are leading you to want to crb and for the stress your mom's discovery has caused. For what's it's worth, internet stranger, I'm sending you thoughts of peace, clarity, and strength. May you find and know comfort and ease.

 

[PracheenKaal_00!]

Slitting your wrists is really a bad idea. It's unlikely to work and could cause permanent damage; you might lose the ability to use your hand.

I still don't get it. You have SN, why not just take the SN? Why do you feel the need to slit your wrists at the same time? It seems to me that you would be causing yourself unnecessary pain. SN is quite a reliable method, whilst slitting your wrists isn't.

Alright, I get it.
I'll not be slitting my wrists. I hope that SN works.

 

[d3j3ct3dl0s3r05]

I just want you to know that you're not an idiot and life happens so don't beat yourself too hard over this. It's not your fault and I believe you'll be able to achieve peace on your own terms regardless

 

[PracheenKaal_00!]

Btw, a quick update to y'all.
I'm contemplating on whether to CTB today (sat) midnight onwards or next sat midnight onwards. It depends on the evolving situation that I'm in rn.

If I wait, I risk my SN getting taken away, and me forced into treatment or at worse forcefully shoved into a psych ward.
I don't really want to act on impulse. But the situation I'm in rn means I don't have the luxury of time to re-plan properly .

I'm still contemplating. I am still panicking. I'm in a tough spot.
I'll update y'all by posting update threads.

 

[dialogos]

The uncontrollable facial expression condition started somewhere around mid april and it has been getting worse.
Also, I am in the final year of my university degree.

They (parents) are kinda aware of it, but they are not aware of the severity of it. They think it's social anxiety when it's not.
And it's not easy to change universities in my country (added to the fact that my second last semester classes has already started).
The situation is really complicated.

Btw, whatever i've typed is the truth. I am not faking anything, not fake posting stuff.
It feels like I am becoming a prisoner of myself.


As a backup Just in case.
All thanks to the situation I'm in.
I want to CTB successfully under any cost. No room for failure.
I do not want to live anymore.

I have to CTB under the circumstances and the situation that I'm in.
My plans have been derailed. This is my immediate emergency CTB plan.
I do not have a choice. Either I CTB successfully, or I risk forcefully getting into treatment. Or at worse ending up in a psych ward that's a nightmare in my country that I'm from.

It's not easy to CTB .
Especially when living with parents and a sibling.

I know its difficult to change but if going to college physically is causing you so much stress, then tell your parents your problem has gotten worse and you can't deal with it with so many people looking at you. These open universities know about transferring credits.INDIRA GANDHI NATIONAL OPEN UNIVERSITY http://ignou.ac.in/ You can explain to your parents by being dramatic, have a "rational" fit, exert all effort that they have to believe you that you don't want to go back to a traditional school.

 

[StarFaded]

I'm so fucking sorry. Here I am wishing I bought SN when I had the fucking chance because I feel TRAPPED and extremely hopeless about my situation now and I have to resort to other disgusting and inconvenient ways to kill myself. But I also can imagine the tremendous amount of stress and anxiety you're going through right now. It's damned if you do, and damned if you don't.

I hope you can end up finding peace in your journey, my friend.

 

[PracheenKaal_00!]

I know its difficult to change but if going to college physically is causing you so much stress, then tell your parents your problem has gotten worse and you can't deal with it with so many people looking at you. These open universities know about transferring credits.INDIRA GANDHI NATIONAL OPEN UNIVERSITY http://ignou.ac.in/ You can explain to your parents by being dramatic, have a "rational" fit, exert all effort that they have to believe you that you don't want to go back to a traditional school.

I appreciate ur inputs!

The issue is that, i'm in my final year of degree classes, and my 5th sem classes have already started.
Secondly my parents won't agree so easily. It will be like moving a huge boulder to convince them. Also, since my plans have been botched, this will raise a lot of suspicion. And then my dad and my sibling could get to know about the SN. This would create even more problems . Also, if I try to further explain to them, it will create a huge argument.

I mean my parents understand (my anxiety issues and other stuff) to an extent but not fully. And there's many other issues.
Anyways, I really appreciate your inputs! .

I'm so fucking sorry. Here I am wishing I bought SN when I had the fucking chance because I feel TRAPPED and extremely hopeless about my situation now and I have to resort to other disgusting and inconvenient ways to kill myself. But I also can imagine the tremendous amount of stress and anxiety you're going through right now. It's damned if you do, and damned if you don't.

I am really sorry. I sincerely hope that you are able to find the peace that you need. I sincerely wish and hope the best for you .

I hope you can end up finding peace in your journey, my friend.

Thank you @StarFaded . I indeed hope to successfully find my peace.

For context (link):
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/sn-arrived.133397/

This is serious, I literally mean SERIOUS.
As I have previously mentioned I do not fake post stuff, and I'm not a pro-lifer. Whatever I've posted is genuine.

Looks like my mom knows something is not right.
Apparently, it looks like my lie did not convince her properly .

Now she's mentioned that I have to do the SN food experiment in front of her. Also, she asked me if I have opened the package yet. Additionally she wants to know where I've stored the SN package at home. She wants to have a one-on-one discussion with me about the SN order. She knows that something is not right. FML. I'm panicking rn. F**k.

She's yet to have the discussion about the SN with me. I hope that she forgets about it. (But I doubt that it will happen. F*****g hell).
I have ordered 2 bottles. So I plan to hide 1 bottle and show her where I've kept the other bottle. I hope that she won't know that I have 2 SN bottles.

The delivery would have gone to plan if it wasn't for the bloody OTP required during delivery. If I did not share the OTP (as I was in university attending classes), my mom would have returned the SN, or she would have figured the intentions out herself. Bloody hell. why tf OTP for delivery whyyyy.

I have to CTB much earlier than expected due to the situation I'm in. This means that I have to CTB by coming Saturday, or by next weekend at max. This means no proper suicide note etc. Also,tThis means that I may not be able to get my hands on Benzos and antiemetics. I will have to do with paracetamol, painkillers and sleeping pills etc. At-least I still have the SN.

Fucking shame on me, shame on bloody worthless me. This proves that I'm an worthless asshole.
My serious advice to y'all. Order SN as the last step once y'all have procured other items for this method. Plz keep that in mind.
I'm a fucking worthless idiot. I deserve to die.

Since I'm at home and live with my family (i.e. my parents and a sibling), I cannot fast. So i'll try to consume less food and fast from 8pm till 4 am, then I'll consume paracetamol etc, and SN. I cannot test the SN due to the bloody situation I'm in.

I have to CTB at home in the bathroom and overdose on SN, and cut my wrist (I know a bad idea but I have no other choice left) and hope that I'm not discovered for the next 2 hours. Hopefully I will die by then.

I do not want to harbor hate against my mom and anyone else. But If my plans are discovered and I'm forced to get help/ forcefully shoved into a psych ward (a nightmare in my country), I will never forgive my mom and anyone else. I literally mean it and I am fucking serious. I will CTB no matter what. They have no right to force me to live. IDC. It's selfish of them to force me to live.

I will keep y'all updated for sure.
Takeaway : Don't be a fucking worthless idiot like me, order SN as the last step.

I'll keep y'all updated.
quick update: my mom got to know it's a posionous substance and it's banned in other nations.
I guess I'll have to ctb this sat.
I'm on the verge of breaking down.
I'm literally panicking so badly....
.
My situation has gotten a lot worse...
fuck my life screw me I am an idiot..

Another quick update to y'all:

My mom spoke to me in front of my dad about the SN order (f*****g hell). My mom asked why I really needed the SN.
Also they asked what payment method I have used. I explained to my mom that I needed SN for food preservation experiment. I think she got convinced (at-least for time being) and she said that she trusted me (I really hate to do this, but I want to CTB. I am left with no other choice).

Also, they asked me to show the place where I've stored the SN (I have not opened the package yet). However I've managed to convinced them that I've ordered only 1 bottle of SN.
I plan to discretely open the package and hide one of the SN bottle somewhere else at home. After I'm successful in doing that I will buy painkillers, OTC antiemetics, sleeping pills and if possible antacids.
Hopefully the above items (painkillers etc.) I mentioned will help during my CTB.
I have no luxury of time to get benzos and proper antiemetics.

Once I have the items, I'll contemplate further If I'll CTB today (sat) midnight onwards or next week sat midnight onwards. The issue is if I wait till next week sat, I may not be able to CTB at all as my mom will get even more suspicious before my mom possible decides to dispose the SN, this means my plan will fail entirely.

This is the update for now. If any more updates, I shall definitely keep y'all updated.
If I decide to CTB, I'll update y'all in a new thread (and I'll share the link of the new thread here).
My advice to y'all:
Plz order SN as the last step (i.e. after procuring antiemetics, benzos etc).
Plz don't make the mistake I did (i.e. ordering SN as the 1st step instead of the last step).

 

[Deleted member 65988]

If I were you, I'd be highly cautious because now that they know that you have it and intend to use it for a food experiment, they may still suspect you of ulterior motives and will watch you closely.

I'm so sorry this is also happening so fast for you too but please be careful because rushing into it may cause a lot of unwanted but since what has occurred with your parents is unexpected, I understand, your anxiety must be through the roof too.

 

[magicwiccan1]

Also, they asked me to show the place where I've stored the SN (I have not opened the package yet). However I've managed to convinced them that I've ordered only 1 bottle of SN.

Sorry bit confused following all the threads, if the package isn't opened how do they know what it is that you ordered? Was it mentioned outside the package?

 

[PracheenKaal_00!]

Sorry bit confused following all the threads, if the package isn't opened how do they know what it is that you ordered? Was it mentioned outside the package?

Unfortunately yes .

If I were you, I'd be highly cautious because now that they know that you have it and intend to use it for a food experiment, they may still suspect you of ulterior motives and will watch you closely.

Yes, I have to be more careful. But at the same time the situation is not good at all.

I'm so sorry this is also happening so fast for you too but please be careful because rushing into it may cause a lot of unwanted but since what has occurred with your parents is unexpected, I understand, your anxiety must be through the roof too.

.
Yeah, my anxiety is through the roof. I'm still panicking .Also, I'm still contemplating regarding when I'll CTB (i.e. today [ sat ] midnight onwards or next week sat midnight onwards. Both are risky due to the bloody situation I'm in.

I'll update y'all in a new update thread if I have made a decision.

 

[PracheenKaal_00!]

Y'all, my new update thread. I'll be continuously updating y'all in this thread till tmrw evening.
Plz read this new update thread (link below):
Plz, it's important.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...n-new-update-thread-ctb-on-30-09-2023.133703/