my new plan with sn

[100memoryleaks]

my sn arrived today without a single issue. i felt like a kid on christmas opening up the package. it feels unreal and exciting, knowing i'm much closer to finally being at peace. i'm still waiting for the metoclopramide to be delivered but i hope it won't take long. i also still need to transfer the sn from the vacuum-sealed bag to some sort of container. i hope an empty pill bottle or glass jar would work. and also test it with my blood just to be absolutely sure.

here's my schedule:

day 1
8:00	10 mg metoclopramide
16:00	10 mg metoclopramide
24:00:00	10 mg metoclopramide
day 2
8:00	10 mg metoclopramide
13:00	10 mg metoclopramide
21:00	10 mg metoclopramide
	begin fasting
day 3
4:00	600 mg ibuprofen and 500 g gabapentin
4:20	30 mg metoclopramide
5:00	200 mg benadryl
	make 2 cups of water with 25g of SN each
	in case of vomiting, drink second cup of SN

after taking the last dose of metoclopramide i'll leave my house to go to the same location as my first attempt (in the forest), since i already know from last time that i won't be found there. i'm bringing a backpack with a bottle of water, paper cups, a spoon, a container with SN (i'll measure the correct amount beforehand), benadryl, my phone, earbuds, a hard surface to put the cups on, a bag in case of vomiting, and a blanket to lie down on. the benadryl is for the sedative effect, i'll take it right before the SN. the gabapentin is also for sedation.

once i drink it, i'm gonna lie down on the blanket, put on some music, and, hopefully, if i don't vomit, just go to sleep without waking up. :) i'm so excited i can hardly concentrate on anything else. i want to see my sweetheart again. he will finally know in spite of everything, just how much he means to me, just how much i love him. but i'm sure he's over me by now, especially with all the mistakes i've made and mental problems i've had. i understand his choice, i really do, and i hope he is happy now, living a peaceful life alone that he achieved with his own hard work. i hope he achieves all other dreams he had.

depending on when my metoclopramide arrives, i'll do it either before this weekend or next week. i'm scheduled to work on saturday, sunday, and tuesday (yeah, i should have probably quit my job if i knew i'd ctb, but i don't want to arise any sort of suspicions), doing it the day right before work seems kinda bad since i don't want my coworkers to find out i died by noticing i'm missing that day.

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

Blood test is not enough.
Two cups of water? It can't be over 50ml per cup.

 

[CrawlingInMySkin]

smiling for you rn, my friend :). I remember your thread about your last attempt, still terribly sorry. I'm glad you've got another one ready though. Just out of curiosity- what song are you thinking, or do you have a playlist? I personally will not ctb without music, if my headphones are dead the day I do it, I will postpone my date. I will not do it without music. Also- your process seems like it'd work. But I would also trust DeathSweetDeath, I'm not sure what else they mean by that but they're probably right. If you haven't yet, I'd check the SN megathread. Love and peace, mate

 

[100memoryleaks]

Blood test is not enough.
Two cups of water? It can't be over 50ml per cup.

ok, to be sure, i ordered aquarium test strips. they'll arrive tomorrow.

i might have to either estimate the water amount or just bring my food scale with me lmao. sucks that i can't just do it at home or at a hotel. both options will get me discovered easily :(

 

[letsnotmakeittoo22]

my sn arrived today without a single issue. i felt like a kid on christmas opening up the package. it feels unreal and exciting, knowing i'm much closer to finally being at peace. i'm still waiting for the metoclopramide to be delivered but i hope it won't take long. i also still need to transfer the sn from the vacuum-sealed bag to some sort of container. i hope an empty pill bottle or glass jar would work. and also test it with my blood just to be absolutely sure.

here's my schedule:

day 1
8:00	10 mg metoclopramide
16:00	10 mg metoclopramide
24:00:00	10 mg metoclopramide
day 2
8:00	10 mg metoclopramide
13:00	10 mg metoclopramide
21:00	10 mg metoclopramide
	begin fasting
day 3
4:00	600 mg ibuprofen and 500 g gabapentin
4:20	30 mg metoclopramide
5:00	200 mg benadryl
	make 2 cups of water with 25g of SN each
	in case of vomiting, drink second cup of SN

after taking the last dose of metoclopramide i'll leave my house to go to the same location as my first attempt (in the forest), since i already know from last time that i won't be found there. i'm bringing a backpack with a bottle of water, paper cups, a spoon, a container with SN (i'll measure the correct amount beforehand), benadryl, my phone, earbuds, a hard surface to put the cups on, a bag in case of vomiting, and a blanket to lie down on. the benadryl is for the sedative effect, i'll take it right before the SN. the gabapentin is also for sedation.

once i drink it, i'm gonna lie down on the blanket, put on some music, and, hopefully, if i don't vomit, just go to sleep without waking up. :) i'm so excited i can hardly concentrate on anything else. i want to see my sweetheart again. he will finally know in spite of everything, just how much he means to me, just how much i love him. but i'm sure he's over me by now, especially with all the mistakes i've made and mental problems i've had. i understand his choice, i really do, and i hope he is happy now, living a peaceful life alone that he achieved with his own hard work. i hope he achieves all other dreams he had.

depending on when my metoclopramide arrives, i'll do it either before this weekend or next week. i'm scheduled to work on saturday, sunday, and tuesday (yeah, i should have probably quit my job if i knew i'd ctb, but i don't want to arise any sort of suspicions), doing it the day right before work seems kinda bad since i don't want my coworkers to find out i died by noticing i'm missing that day.

Wishing you happiness, love and warmth.

 

[100memoryleaks]

smiling for you rn, my friend :). I remember your thread about your last attempt, still terribly sorry. I'm glad you've got another one ready though. Just out of curiosity- what song are you thinking, or do you have a playlist? I personally will not ctb without music, if my headphones are dead the day I do it, I will postpone my date. I will not do it without music. Also- your process seems like it'd work. But I would also trust DeathSweetDeath, I'm not sure what else they mean by that but they're probably right. If you haven't yet, I'd check the SN megathread. Love and peace, mate

thanks <3

i have a short playlist ready, but i'll probably pass out before it's over. i'm thinking these songs:
playboi carti - bando
and one - before i go
arianne - komm, susser tod
fly me to the moon (bayonetta version)

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

ok, to be sure, i ordered aquarium test strips. they'll arrive tomorrow.

i might have to either estimate the water amount or just bring my food scale with me lmao. sucks that i can't just do it at home or at a hotel. both options will get me discovered easily :(

I didn't buy a scale, but measuring spoons that measure in grams & pitchers that measure in ml's. Maybe you could use a measuring cup as 50 ml is a bit less than a quarter cup.

 

[CrawlingInMySkin]

thanks <3

i have a short playlist ready, but i'll probably pass out before it's over. i'm thinking these songs:
playboi carti - bando
and one - before i go
arianne - komm, susser tod
fly me to the moon (bayonetta version)

nice playlist! I love music, as you might've been able to tell. may you find nothing but peace before your ctb, my friend.

 

[100memoryleaks]

I didn't buy a scale, but measuring spoons that measure in grams & pitchers that measure in ml's. Maybe you could use a measuring cup as 50 ml is a bit less than a quarter cup.

i see. i might try to sneak the measuring cup from the kitchen into my backpack then. i'll try to look for the measuring spoons at the supermarket tomorrow