Please help me to ctb
I'm 26 years old
I can't ever buy a gun (not legal in my country)
I don't know how to cook (poison) and also can't cook anything as my mother would notice it
I don't have any access to chemical equipments
I'm under constant supervision by my mother and a psychiatric hospital caretaker who's homestaying with us (except when I'm in a restroom), so I can't try hanging, decapitation by car, etc.
I need to succeed at my first attempt or I would not be able to get another.
I don't have any drug or alcohol related problem. I don't even smoke. It's been years since I had any alcohol. All I want is to stay home and not go to work outdoors.
There are 4 things I like: Video Games, Movies, TV series and music. My parents won't let me just do these and they're ready to put me in a psychiatric hospital for life.
Currently I'm restricted from my hometown and living in another city which has the hospital that I was last admitted to and the hospital that they're threatening to put me in. All my gaming and home theatre equipment are restricted to me and is in my hometown.
I've been under depression medication for nearly 10 years now. It first started when I refused to go to school and started playing video games and they started giving psychiatric medicines to me. And, some time later it came to a stage where if I didn't take the meds, I can't sleep. Insomnia. It led me to do some really horrible things, as I would be irritated that everyone around me is sleeping (and snoring), but I'm not able to get any sleep.
I know very well (so do they) that if I didn't start taking those meds, I wouldn't have this problem.
I was being admitted to 2 mental hospitals till now. Right now, I'm being forced to go to work and to cut short doing the things I like.
I have enough money in my family to live my life as I want without having to go to work. I am a single child for my parents.
I have never done anything illegal in my life and I'm not planing to do so (I don't know if ctb is illegal here in my country or not). They're threatening if I don't do what they say, I will again be put into a hospital facility for life, where there's nobody like me as I don't have any psychiatric issues like the other people I would meet there. And, also it would be nasty and no privacy over there.
I'm in a constant fear 24x7 that I'll be taken away to a psychiatric facility if I didn't do what I'm told.
I can't bear this pain anymore. I don't think I deserve this. My mom says I do deserve this as I'm a bad person. What do you think, honestly?
I think falling in front of a large vehicle or train would be the only possible way for me, but also it is not 100% guaranteed and it's possible that I would become a disabled or vegetable person scarred for life.
Please help me ctb if you can. I beg you all.
Thank you.
I'm 26 years old
I can't ever buy a gun (not legal in my country)
I don't know how to cook (poison) and also can't cook anything as my mother would notice it
I don't have any access to chemical equipments
I'm under constant supervision by my mother and a psychiatric hospital caretaker who's homestaying with us (except when I'm in a restroom), so I can't try hanging, decapitation by car, etc.
I need to succeed at my first attempt or I would not be able to get another.
I don't have any drug or alcohol related problem. I don't even smoke. It's been years since I had any alcohol. All I want is to stay home and not go to work outdoors.
There are 4 things I like: Video Games, Movies, TV series and music. My parents won't let me just do these and they're ready to put me in a psychiatric hospital for life.
Currently I'm restricted from my hometown and living in another city which has the hospital that I was last admitted to and the hospital that they're threatening to put me in. All my gaming and home theatre equipment are restricted to me and is in my hometown.
I've been under depression medication for nearly 10 years now. It first started when I refused to go to school and started playing video games and they started giving psychiatric medicines to me. And, some time later it came to a stage where if I didn't take the meds, I can't sleep. Insomnia. It led me to do some really horrible things, as I would be irritated that everyone around me is sleeping (and snoring), but I'm not able to get any sleep.
I know very well (so do they) that if I didn't start taking those meds, I wouldn't have this problem.
I was being admitted to 2 mental hospitals till now. Right now, I'm being forced to go to work and to cut short doing the things I like.
I have enough money in my family to live my life as I want without having to go to work. I am a single child for my parents.
I have never done anything illegal in my life and I'm not planing to do so (I don't know if ctb is illegal here in my country or not). They're threatening if I don't do what they say, I will again be put into a hospital facility for life, where there's nobody like me as I don't have any psychiatric issues like the other people I would meet there. And, also it would be nasty and no privacy over there.
I'm in a constant fear 24x7 that I'll be taken away to a psychiatric facility if I didn't do what I'm told.
I can't bear this pain anymore. I don't think I deserve this. My mom says I do deserve this as I'm a bad person. What do you think, honestly?
I think falling in front of a large vehicle or train would be the only possible way for me, but also it is not 100% guaranteed and it's possible that I would become a disabled or vegetable person scarred for life.
Please help me ctb if you can. I beg you all.
Thank you.
