plans, so far

[100memoryleaks]

currently a work in progress.

things i've done already:

• note to (ex?) boyfriend is already written.
• ordered rope from amazon, waiting for it to arrive on saturday. i ordered something else too that's coming on the same day so hopefully they come in the same package, at a good time.

what's left to do:

• wait until after mom's birthday this weekend.
• depending on my work schedule next week ask people to cover shifts, or maybe just say nothing tbh.
• buy a pack of radler from the supermarket. gonna take one can for the big day. maybe a slice of red velvet cake too...
• withdraw money from any and all online accounts and into my bank account. not sure what can be done with my bank account, but hopefully my family can figure it out.
• write a brief note for my family, explaining there was nothing they could do to help and thank you for giving me a good life while it lasted, but unfortunately i've made some severe mistakes.
• send the prepared note and a photo of the rope to my boyfriend the day before.

the method itself is partial hanging, and i'm gonna leave the house at 3-4am ish to go into the woods that are on the way to the lake. gonna go as deep as possible to avoid being found for a while. although ironically, i want to put on some nice, cute clothes, in case i am found shortly after i ctb. at least i died beautiful... although i don't think i've ever been able to truly consider myself beautiful.

gonna listen to some music on the walk there. maybe some happy disco music.