Discussion Person(s) you cant forgive and why?

[faust]

My brother. He molested me at age 4 and gave me Herpes.

My ex left me with candidiasis, but even if it would be HIV, I would not care much. Dead is not afraid!

 

[ithappens]

I keep telling myself that I forgive the parent who abused me as a child and resented my existence, that I forgive the people who sat back and watched and knew and did nothing to stop it, and that I forgive the people who manipulated and used me for their own purposes while calling themselves my friend or even lover. But in actuality it is hard. Most days when I'm suffering it's those times that come to mind. Then I'm just angry, scared, lonely, depressed, and I even feel grief. So while I'd like to be forgiving and be the "better person" I'm not sure I'll ever truly be able to do much more than pretend.

 

[Jen0804]

so called professionals named Greg, Sarah, Vicky, and Charlotte.
All of those above are vile people who should have never been granted a job to work with vulnerable people. They are all heartless and couldn't care less if someone lived or died under their care. Those are the only people I will never be able to fully forgive, aside from the man who raped me. I will be dying half way through my court trial so he will be let off I am sure but I'll be sure to haunt him forever if there's an afterlife.

 

[faust]

so called professionals named Greg, Sarah, Vicky, and Charlotte.
All of those above are vile people who should have never been granted a job to work with vulnerable people. They are all heartless and couldn't care less if someone lived or died under their care. Those are the only people I will never be able to fully forgive, aside from the man who raped me. I will be dying half way through my court trial so he will be let off I am sure but I'll be sure to haunt him forever if there's an afterlife.

In Russia if you are rapist, you may be raped all the years you are in prison. It is such a punishment from jailmates. Is it different in your country?

 

[Lostandfound7]

When my ex cheated the 2 girls got stalked the fuck out of by me I made their lives misery, they deleted their social media's, changed their phone numbers and were distressed. Getting a reaction is all I wanted but a year later my psycho self would still punch a bitch, even though it's probably him I should punch..

Ahhhhh a woman after my own heart..

I did pull a gun on him when I first found out but couldn't bother with the whole crime scene mess in the house n detectives, handcuffs, the dogs crying, blah blah blah...so I spared him..

 

[ryla2090]

I really hate myself for doing this, but I don't regret it. What I can't forgive is the circumstances around me.

 

[needtogo]

A doctor that I told I wanted to switch meds to lower level because I couldn't get an erection, who proceeded to tell me I needed to to take a medication that would ultimately destroy my sexuality. And myself, for trusting said doctor.

 

[faust]

A doctor that I told I wanted to switch meds to lower level because I couldn't get an erection, who proceeded to tell me I needed to to take a medication that would ultimately destroy my sexuality. And myself, for trusting said doctor.

Unfortunately, this is a common problem. They prefer not to mention such side effects

 

[Shinbu]

My biological father. He lied about getting a gravestone for my grandpa. He also shot someone in the eye due to his jealousy, because he thought my mom's friend was seeing my mom behind his back. He is not my reason to ctb. It feels weird to hate your own father, when others have a father that they love. He comes off as condescending, and he is manipulative. I tried to give this guy some chances to redeem himself. Just how am I related to him?. I'm not like him at all. He jumped my uncle, and hit him with a bat. He was abusive to my mother, and my uncle stood up for her so he got pissed, and called up his boys . That was the time he was trying to take me away from her. He is a coward, and a liar. Fuck him.

 

[Jen0804]

@faust
Yes.. I believe rapists are raped in jail in this country as well. I really hope he gets some kind of karma. He isn't in jail right now because it hasn't gotten that far, it's only at the point of investigation right now, so he's just being watched before being called in for an interview as a suspect. I wish he was in jail TBH. Thanks for replying though

 

[Quarky00]

I did pull a gun on him when I first found out but couldn't bother with the whole crime scene mess

Lol
Lazy Psycho

"I'm not cleaning all that blood"

 

[Lostandfound7]

Though that's partly because he says they have/had no idea about me. I guess I feel some bitterness towards one in particular because I do not believe that she did not know, or she's just especially naive.

That's majority of my anger. The fact that she knew about me n still went out of her way to disrespect me n tried to encourage him to leave me..

 

[Mr2005]

Me, my parents, my friends, therapists, plastic surgeons but most of all me

 

[Lostandfound7]

My brother. He molested me at age 4 and gave me Herpes.

Unforgivable...I'm sorry

 

[BPD Barbie]

I don't hold grudges, it's so bad for me to do so. I forgave my abusers and it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders around 10 years ago. But sadly, the damage was done and I have to live with the mental illnesses it gave me. But in my opinion, it's better to forgive then to carry this weight of a grudge around forever. We cannot change the past, but we can shape the future.

 

[Lostandfound7]

most of all though I'm angry at myself for not seeing the signs/ignoring them. I'm also angry at myself for getting in this position. I can forgive him quite easily, but myself? Probably never.

No plz forgive yourself..It's not ur fault. We often wanna see n believe the best in ppl, until they prove us wrong...Esp when we have good intentions, we think everyone else does too..not always the case, unfortunately..

Forgive yourself honey..U did nothing wrong...

I keep telling myself that I forgive the parent who abused me as a child and resented my existence, that I forgive the people who sat back and watched and knew and did nothing to stop it, and that I forgive the people who manipulated and used me for their own purposes while calling themselves my friend or even lover. But in actuality it is hard. Most days when I'm suffering it's those times that come to mind. Then I'm just angry, scared, lonely, depressed, and I even feel grief. So while I'd like to be forgiving and be the "better person" I'm not sure I'll ever truly be able to do much more than pretend.

I feel u...Forgiveness can be so difficult, esp when ur already traumatized n beaten down...Sending u love n comfort

so called professionals named Greg, Sarah, Vicky, and Charlotte.
All of those above are vile people who should have never been granted a job to work with vulnerable people. They are all heartless and couldn't care less if someone lived or died under their care. Those are the only people I will never be able to fully forgive, aside from the man who raped me. I will be dying half way through my court trial so he will be let off I am sure but I'll be sure to haunt him forever if there's an afterlife.

"Professionals" ..smdh...

I'm sorry that u still have to face that vile human again...Bastard..he will get what's coming to him..

Sending luv n strength honey, for that painful court trial..

In Russia if you are rapist, you may be raped all the years you are in prison. It is such a punishment from jailmates. Is it different in your country?

ESPECIALLY if u rape a child or the elderly...They take "care" of u in U.S. jails for those crimes..they sure do...Ur lucky if they even keep u alive...or maybe not..

My biological father. He lied about getting a gravestone for my grandpa. He also shot someone in the eye due to his jealousy, because he thought my mom's friend was seeing my mom behind his back. He is not my reason to ctb. It feels weird to hate your own father, when others have a father that they love. He comes off as condescending, and he is manipulative. I tried to give this guy some chances to redeem himself. Just how am I related to him?. I'm not like him at all. He jumped my uncle, and hit him with a bat. He was abusive to my mother, and my uncle stood up for her so he got pissed, and called up his boys . That was the time he was trying to take me away from her. He is a coward, and a liar. Fuck him.

I can def understand y u would find it difficult to forgive him...I'm sorry

Lol
Lazy Psycho

"I'm not cleaning all that blood"

Hahahah!
These lazy, new age psychos..

Me: Siri, call the cleaning company.
*plugs in Roomba*

I don't hold grudges, it's so bad for me to do so. I forgave my abusers and it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders around 10 years ago. But sadly, the damage was done and I have to live with the mental illnesses it gave me. But in my opinion, it's better to forgive then to carry this weight of a grudge around forever. We cannot change the past, but we can shape the future.

Ur absolutely right..it's just so Damm hard n easier said than done for me..

 

[LastRide]

My brother. He molested me at age 4 and gave me Herpes.

Ouch....that's a tough one...so sorry for you ! Sending hugs, not forgiveness....

 

[terry_a_davis]

There's no one i can't forgive but luckily i've never been seriously wronged by anyone. 1 ex gf craftily fleeced me for several thousand pounds but i was loaded at the time and i partly blame myself for letting it happen. I think she had her problems, I wish her all the best and if i seen her about i'd be ok with her.

 

[Lostandfound7]

There's no one i can't forgive but luckily i've never been seriously wronged by anyone. 1 ex gf craftily fleeced me for several thousand pounds but i was loaded at the time and i partly blame myself for letting it happen. I think she had her problems, I wish her all the best and if i seen her about i'd be ok with her.

That's awesome!..it's not a nice feeling to b seriously wronged by someone, esp someone close to u.. it's great that u have never experienced that type of pain..I pray u never do

 

[terry_a_davis]

That's awesome!..it's not a nice feeling to b seriously wronged by someone, esp someone close to u.. it's great that u have never experienced that type of pain..I pray u never do

Yeh reading some of the stories on here about how people have been hurt by others makes me sad and i realise how lucky i am. I just lost some money which is nothing really.

 

[porfin1234]

Myself. I've thrown away every golden opportunity I've had and destroyed most of my relationships.

 

[Lostandfound7]

Yeh reading some of the stories on here about how people have been hurt by others makes me sad and i realise how lucky i am. I just lost some money which is nothing really.

Exactly...U havent been heartbroken? Ur already ahead of the game..lol

Myself. I've thrown away every golden opportunity I've had and destroyed most of my relationships.

Thats prob the worst type of unforgiveness..the one against self..Try to forgive yourself honey n move forward.

 

[HelensNepenthe]

A long ago ex never got over me. No part of the relationship was perfect, we both had made mistakes, and the longer we kept it going was the longer the toxicity was brewing. After facing a couple of years of emotional abuse, especially her comments when she thought I fabricated my sister's and mother's attempts, in addition to thinking the couple of days I ignored her to mourn my grandfather's passing; I called quits.

Obsessive behavior from her never letting me go has made me remove most social media sites. I was active on Facebook but I don't want potential loved ones having her message people. She's already done it before when I was in my last relationship.

Last year I received harassing calls that I documented and later sent to an attorney. A letter was sent in the mail to her house. Now she's back again after trying to reach out to me. Extremely insulting and one of the back of the head reasons why I want to go.

 

[LastRide]

My ex....for the words she threw at me when she left me...I don't hate her and our relationship was broken anyway already years before, but did she really have to stick the knife in that far into my heart? Just to say - overcoming SI when I ctb will be a piece of cake in comparison to what I was left with to digest after her "grand leaving speech"....were those hateful words full of spite for someone who really tried hard to make her happy but failed miserably really necessary?

 

[Lostandfound7]

A long ago ex never got over me. No part of the relationship was perfect, we both had made mistakes, and the longer we kept it going was the longer the toxicity was brewing. After facing a couple of years of emotional abuse, especially her comments when she thought I fabricated my sister's and mother's attempts, in addition to thinking the couple of days I ignored her to mourn my grandfather's passing; I called quits.

Obsessive behavior from her never letting me go has made me remove most social media sites. I was active on Facebook but I don't want potential loved ones having her message people. She's already done it before when I was in my last relationship.

Last year I received harassing calls that I documented and later sent to an attorney. A letter was sent in the mail to her house. Now she's back again after trying to reach out to me. Extremely insulting and one of the back of the head reasons why I want to go.

View attachment 29428 View attachment 29429

Dyammmmmm!!!

Nah but u can't ctb cuz of her crazy ass!!! No way!!

My ex....for the words she threw at me when she left me...I don't hate her and our relationship was broken anyway already years before, but did she really have to stick the knife in that far into my heart? Just to say - overcoming SI when I ctb will be a piece of cake in comparison to what I was left with to digest after her "grand leaving speech"....were those hateful words full of spite for someone who really tried hard to make her happy but failed miserably really necessary?

I feel u..words hurt worse than any physical abuse..wounds heal..words linger..I'm sorry honey..

I'm sending u HEALING!

 

[terry_a_davis]

Exactly...U havent been heartbroken? Ur already ahead of the game..lol

Thats prob the worst type of unforgiveness..the one against self..Try to forgive yourself honey n move forward.

Oh yes i've had my heart broken, only truly once. I got dumped but it was my fault for not treating her right so i don't blame her. I wasn't awful to her or anything but i took her for granted, she deserved better and moved on. I understand what @porfin1234 has posted in your quote, i've done similar.

 

[Lostandfound7]

Ook..I see..

Yes I can totally relate to @porfin1234 ! I had to forgive myself also..I still struggle every now n then..smh

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I've only just seen this thread. So many really sad posts I wouldn't know where to begin to answer anyone properly how saddening it is.

My brother and my sister bullied me to sign power of attorney over my finances. I did this under duress, under threat of abandonment. I had no choice as my illness was making it impossible to cope and I needed their help.

They wanted PoE to force me to sell my home so they could get the money. Background: we each owned a third of the inherited family home. They had run out of money and were sick of me living there while I was ill. They actually thought they were doing me a favour.

If I'd refused the PoA they said they would get me sectioned and get a court order over my finances and would charge the solicitors fees to me.

So I signed. They pushed me into a shitty house by rushing my decision because they didn't want to lose the sale.

I hate it here. It's a shabby little shit hole and will never be my home. I legally own it but morally I see it as theirs. If I do anything like try and sell it or move someone in they could easily invoke PoE and stop me. They never even actually used PoE which was supposed to take the pressure of the house sale off me.

As long as they hold that piece of paper then I cannot trust them even though I still need their practical assistance. My brother is five doors down and helps out with some practical stuff. My sister is 200 miles away and seldom even calls now let alone visit.

I love my brother and sister but I now resent them and don't trust them. I don't even want to talk to my sister and yet I miss her too.
There is hatred brewing in me which us not how I am.

I want to forgive them but if they need the problem pointing out to them then there's no point in even having the discussion. At least my brother tries to help and I know they thought what they did was the only option.

Still, I do not feel forgiving.
I feel angry.

 

[Lostandfound7]

I've only just seen this thread. So many really sad posts I wouldn't know where to begin to answer anyone properly how saddening it is.

My brother and my sister bullied me to sign power of attorney over my finances. I did this under duress, under threat of abandonment. I had no choice as my illness was making it impossible to cope and I needed their help.

They wanted PoE to force me to sell my home so they could get the money. Background: we each owned a third of the inherited family home. They had run out of money and were sick of me living there while I was ill. They actually thought they were doing me a favour.

If I'd refused the PoA they said they would get me sectioned and get a court order over my finances and would charge the solicitors fees to me.

So I signed. They pushed me into a shitty house by rushing my decision because they didn't want to lose the sale.

I hate it here. It's a shabby little shit hole and will never be my home. I legally own it but morally I see it as theirs. If I do anything like try and sell it or move someone in they could easily invoke PoE and stop me. They never even actually used PoE which was supposed to take the pressure of the house sale off me.

As long as they hold that piece of paper then I cannot trust them even though I still need their practical assistance. My brother is five doors down and helps out with some practical stuff. My sister is 200 miles away and seldom even calls now let alone visit.

I love my brother and sister but I now resent them and don't trust them. I don't even want to talk to my sister and yet I miss her too.
There is hatred brewing in me which us not how I am.

I want to forgive them but if they need the problem pointing out today's them then there's no point in even having the discussion. At least my brother tries to help and I knowledge they thought what they did was the only option.

Still, I do not feel forgiving.
I feel angry.

Wow! I can't even fault u on that one..sometimes family can b so cruel..smdh..
I have heard stories Iike that of siblings stealing inheritances, property, etc...

The love of money is def the root of all evil..

I'm sorry ur going thru that

 

[ghostspace]

I can't forgive my dad. He was abusive and ruined my life.