People with SN, why are you here?

[Fthis]

To everyone who owns a gun, has access to a really tall cliff, or has SN, why the hell are you still alive?

 

[lucacaro]

Some people just feel comfort having the option there when they need it and aren't in a rush and some of us are just not ready. I haven't used my SN because I'm pretty scared of dying and I keep getting overwhelmed by sadness thinking about leaving my favorite person behind. But I'll try (again) soon I think.

 

[x~Sophia~x]

To everyone who owns a gun, has access to a really tall cliff, or has SN, why the hell are you still alive?

Are you aware of just how stupid your question is?
Everyone's different - some of us think about suicide but are not quite ready to leave yet.
Some have small children to consider and find it hard to leave them.
Some are in new relationships and are hopeful this might just be their saving grace.
Some have pets they adore and are waiting for them to die before they leave.
Some are just fuckin scared!!

There are many reasons why suicidal people are 'still alive', and I find your post extremely invalidating.
Why are YOU still alive??

 

[ZardozOmega]

I don't know. Fear maybe.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I'm still waiting to find out who all the remaining Smash Ultimate dlc characters are because one of my favorite Youtubers Etika committed suicide too and since then practically every character that has been released is someone he would have been extremely hyped for and I don't want any regrets. Only three more to go and I doubt there will be any more after Fighter's Pass 2 is complete. Following on that, I also want to see some future movies and shows that have yet to come out.

I'll use my SN in about a year though. I used to be okay with waiting until I was 30 but now I'd rather go when I'm 28. I also think it's only fair to give life just one more year to make itself seem worth living to me. If there is any higher power out there that wants me alive then I have made it very clear what needs to happen in order for me to change my mind. If nothing changes then I'm going to accept it anyway, having the SN gives me the peace of mind to deal with that.

 

[aneurysm]

Dying is hard when you are depressed because it takes effort

 

[Zhontafly]

Because my wife and family are giving me immense emotional pressure not to. Also, my wife (she suffers from progressive MS) is demanding that she die with me and she is not ready to do it yet. So I am stuck in this hell (left side facial paralysis with synkinesis and epiphora,BP II, loss of hearing in my left ear, insomnia,rhinitis,dermatitis,undiagnosed stomach issues, mystery pain in my dick, chronic pain in my back, shoulders, right knee and foot, financial and economic hardship), cause admittedly I am a sucker and I care too much.

I have however reached the point to where I am sick of being the thoughtful and considerate nice guy sucker. It has cost me so much in life to not look out for my own interests, so I might end up giving all of them the middle finger and doing this on my own and finally for just myself.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

You have access to a sink don't you? You could plug it up, take in a breath of water and drown. So why are you still here??

"You have a wall, don't you? Just run into it really fast, bro."
"If you want to die that badly just don't drink water for three days, bro!"
"You have nails, don't you? Just scratch until you reach your heart, bro!!!"

 

[x~Sophia~x]

"You have a wall, don't you? Just run into it really fast, bro."
"If you want to die that badly just don't drink water for three days, bro!"
"You have nails, don't you? Just scratch until you reach your heart, bro!!!"

You have a tv don't you? And a bath? Just run yourself a nice bubble bath, dive in, drop the TV in the bath, (ensure TV is switched on and plugged into electric supply) and watch those bubbles flyyyyy

 

[itsbigbraintime]

I'm waiting on the right moment. There's a lot in my life that I'm unhappy about. There's quite a few days where I'm pissed off purely at the fact that I exist. But they aren't the majority of days, not yet at least. I keep it on standby so when those days come, I don't have to suffer any longer than I need to.

 

[alpacasuitcase]

I had a change of plans and need to stick around for my house sale closing. Gotta deal with that & some end of life things and write my physical note that will be with my body etc etc

 

[Rue89]

Last year because of my anxiety and SI (anxiety is my main reason for wanting to ctb), and lack of time alone at home or another good place to ctb. Now I know I could only do it at home, but I never seem to have enough time alone, so no clue when I'll have an opportunity. I hope anxiety and SI won't be a big factor again. I'll only know that when I try.

 

[Spiral]

I don't have access to any of those items, I need to buy items, and I am poor right now because of debt and COVID-19 so its taking time to save money for my bus ticket :( I don't have patience though, it's very hard to stop myself taking the nasty way out. If i didnt mind to make a big mess i could go now

 

[neren]

I just received my SN. I've also crafted a shotgun. I have these options to CTB when I feel the time/method is right.

 

[x~Sophia~x]

I just received my SN. I've also crafted a shotgun. I have these options to CTB when I feel the time/method is right.

Amen x

 

[x~Sophia~x]

Because I don't want to break my grandma's heart, she's 93, but once she's gone, I'm outta here!
Do you get it now?

 

[inthemoonblue]

It's easy to say you're going to end it. Actually doing it is so hard.

 

[hopelessyearning]

Life is precious and looks there are still some opportunities and actions to take so I can enjoy things again. I think I will try everything before taking my own life... and yes I have Cyanide and SN already at home since some months ago.

Also I don't want to hurt my family, I don't want to leave Keane (bunny) alone, I'm afraid there is something on the other side that will punish me, etc

Wish you all the best :)

 

[hendry]

Are you aware of just how stupid your question is?
Everyone's different - some of us think about suicide but are not quite ready to leave yet.
Some have small children to consider and find it hard to leave them.
Some are in new relationships and are hopeful this might just be their saving grace.
Some have pets they adore and are waiting for them to die before they leave.
Some are just fuckin scared!!

There are many reasons why suicidal people are 'still alive', and I find your post extremely invalidating.
Why are YOU still alive??

mmm, I agree with you. However the question is not stupid. The question allows us to analyze the end of life in its last decisions. This space should allow discussion on all aspects of the CTB. In my particular case, I do not CTB because I have people that I love deeply, and I do not want to make them suffer, I will continue until those people are not there, or I know that they are ready.

 

[lucacaro]

mmm, I agree with you. However the question is not stupid. The question allows us to analyze the end of life in its last decisions. This space should allow discussion on all aspects of the CTB. In my particular case, I do not CTB because I have people that I love deeply, and I do not want to make them suffer, I will continue until those people are not there, or I know that they are ready.

This question would be less "stupid" if it didn't sound so... aggressive? We have threads about why we are still around all the time so this isn't the newest topic either. (im not the person quoted but wanted to put my own opinion in lol)

 

[x~Sophia~x]

mmm, I agree with you. However the question is not stupid. The question allows us to analyze the end of life in its last decisions. This space should allow discussion on all aspects of the CTB. In my particular case, I do not CTB because I have people that I love deeply, and I do not want to make them suffer, I will continue until those people are not there, or I know that they are ready.

The question is stupid because they ask about three particular methods of ctb. They aren't asking "if you are suicidal, why are you still alive?" They're asking, if we have access to a gun, SN or a tall building, why are we still alive? As if the method makes any difference!!
So, I'm asking them, why are THEY still alive?

 

[deleted]

i think it is acceptable to have a gun, sn, or n, and not want to ctb yet, this is a very important decision it is the last one you will have to make and for some people there is only one chance. The reason I haven't done it yet is because I'm clearing up my doubts about sn every day, and I'm honestly afraid to fuck it up.

 

[x~Sophia~x]

i think it is acceptable to have a gun, sn, or n, and not want to ctb yet, this is a very important decision it is the last one you will have to make and for some people there is only one chance. The reason I haven't done it yet is because I'm clearing up my doubts about sn every day, and I'm honestly afraid to fuck it up.

Not that you should feel the need to explain your reasons for still being alive.

 

[Weightoftheworld]

The same reason everyone else is still here when rope can be bought most anywhere.
It's just not the right time to go yet.

 

[Wakawaka]

despite everything its hard for me to up and do it

 

[Muirthemne]

I'm a coward.

 

[Sslsh]

had i known about SN when i attempted partial, i would not be around right now. Now im waiting for the right time. I need to go to a different city (I still live with my parents) in order to do it.

 

[blahblahhh]

You see from this thread no one wants to truly die. We want the pain in its endless forms fo cease and relieve but the self-initiative action of death is difficult no matter the level of suffering we encounter. I've been sitting on a loaded gun for some time. I'm 90% there. I guess as horrific as it is, I still have a flickering spark of hope or something.

 

[LastFlowers]

Preparing for death takes energy that even most life-loving people don't posses, so imagine being fatigued with an extremely depressing situation that strips you of even the motivation to end your suffering. If I can't so much as brush my rotting, remaining teeth, then how am I to get myself up and alert so I don't fuck this method up.
The fatigue is real and mind-numbing.
Also, some of the things I have to do before taking my SN, require the cooperation of other people who are giving me an awfully hard time. I have been making the same god damn requests for over a year to some individuals, requests that are pretty simple and doable, especially if they were to consider the insane amount of devastation I suffocate beneath. If I don't ensure these requests are met, I would be offing myself with a much higher risk of postmortem humiliation (and yes I do care, even though I won't be present or conscious to witness it).
To add, the SN regimen takes more than SN and we need to acquire other "ingredients" if we want to follow the guide and give ourselves more peace of mind.
Lastly, it's fucking hard to die, dude!!
Hard to live, hard to die...stuck between a rock and a hard place. Most humans don't ever see it coming. Not like this.
The actual process of dying is scary and SN is a prolonged form of this, we aren't exactly going quickly and despite all the alleged first hand accounts of SN, we are going into this with no guarantee of anything. SN is not even my preferred method, I am still very iffy about it but there is at least some solid evidence that it gets the job done, successful when not discovered early. And I have no choice anymore. I have no quality of life, everyday things get worse, logically it needs to be over. But I don't have access to a gun or a big red button that will both kill me and take care of loose ends, if I did, I would not be here. It is not hope that keeps me around, but fear and a sedating sense of defeat.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

If I had a gun during the last year I wouldn't be here still, since I've had one or two impulses that made me try to go to work on myself with the knife. The problem with SN and jumping (and blades, and hanging, almost all of them apart form guns) is that you can't just get an itch and do it. In my case jumping would be a small-scaled action-mission since I'd have to get into a skyscraper (let's say a restaurant or hotel room 100+m over concrete) and then probably have to break the glass and jump. I'd have to reserve a conference room/ book a table/ get in some other way and bring something like an axe to break the glass, it's a fucking hassle for someone that doesn't really feel pressured to ctb right now.