Pentobarbital (N) questions

[justwannadip]

Hey guys,

So I've been doing a lot of research trying to plan my preferred method of ctb and have come to the conclusion that I feel I'm only comfortable with pentobarbital, seco or potentially SN if none of those work. All other methods seem painful and with a high probability of failure due to complex setup, higher chance of irreparable damage upon failure, and too much time before death to change your mind.

I know N (nembutal) doesn't exist anymore and pento isn't reliably available online. I heard some vet clinics still use it though so there must be some where I live (Canada)? Anyways, I'd appreciate if anyone could give me advice or point me in the right direction to acquire pento. I'm extremely depressed and basically agoraphobic so travelling to peru or mexico would likely be an issue, but if that's my only option I'll probably have to muster up the courage. If thats the case, anyone who's gone to south america to get pento, is there anything I should be aware of? Also, if anyone's serious and would be down to travel together that could be nice :)

Anyways, I'm grateful for this community, and if anyone wants to know more about me or just wants to talk, my dm's are open.

 

[sugarh1gh]

I doubt that the vet clinics will sell you N in canada.

 

[justwannadip]

I doubt that the vet clinics will sell you N in canada.

Well not sell no, but if its in vet clinics here, there must be a workaround. Maybe I'll have to get a job at the vet or try to sneak in the storage room lol. The shit you have to do just to ctb

 

[ferrie]

Getting a job at a vet isn't a viable workaround. Pentobarbital is a controlled substance, and within a vet office only licensed veterinarians are allowed to handle it. It has to be kept in a specially locked storage unit that only the vet can access & cannot be given to other employees to administer or transport

 

[sugarh1gh]

Lol, imagine becoming a vet because of ctb. so much effort

 

[justwannadip]

Getting a job at a vet isn't a viable workaround. Pentobarbital is a controlled substance, and within a vet office only licensed veterinarians are allowed to handle it. It has to be kept in a specially locked storage unit that only the vet can access & cannot be given to other employees to administer or transport

Well damn, then the only option seems to travel abroad. But I just read this from a user recently:
"Mexico was a venue to get it years ago, because of the increase of foreigners coming to mexico and killing themselves in hotels using N the government put a heavy eye on the stuff and now only vets can get it and they dont give it away no matter how much money you offer."
So is there anywhere that still sells it to regular people? Peru? Is pento just non-existent?? I really don't want to have to do another method , everything else looks too painful or like I would back out due to survival instinct.

Lol, imagine becoming a vet because of ctb. so much effort

Ya I'm way too depressed to do all that haha but if it was a way I probably would try to get a temp job at a clinic

 

[ferrie]

Well damn, then the only option seems to travel abroad. But I just read this from a user recently:
"Mexico was a venue to get it years ago, because of the increase of foreigners coming to mexico and killing themselves in hotels using N the government put a heavy eye on the stuff and now only vets can get it and they dont give it away no matter how much money you offer."
So is there anywhere that still sells it to regular people? Peru? Is pento just non-existent?? I really don't want to have to do another method , everything else looks too painful or like I would back out due to survival instinct.

Ya I'm way too depressed to do all that haha but if it was a way I probably would try to get a temp job at a clinic

Peru's the only place I've seen people say they got it recently. Not my method, so idk how available it actually is there or what accounts are true. If it is available in Peru, I imagine it's not going to stay easy to get for long with how often it gets talked about here. Suicide tourism is a bad look & things like N are pretty easy to regulate once they've slapped high enough fines on it

 

[justwannadip]

Peru's the only place I've seen people say they got it recently. Not my method, so idk how available it actually is there or what accounts are true. If it is available in Peru, I imagine it's not going to stay easy to get for long with how often it gets talked about here. Suicide tourism is a bad look & things like N are pretty easy to regulate once they've slapped high enough fines on it

What's your method if u don't mind me asking? Are there any other methods that are easier to acquire but mostly painless and quick? I don't have access to a firearm so I can't do that and I'd likely be too scared to pull the trigger. Something not as gruesome preferably. I've heard ppl talking about carfentanyl or just fentanyl but I'd have no clue who to talk to for that or how I'd test it's purity.

 

[Little_Suzy]

Well damn, then the only option seems to travel abroad. But I just read this from a user recently:
"Mexico was a venue to get it years ago, because of the increase of foreigners coming to mexico and killing themselves in hotels using N the government put a heavy eye on the stuff and now only vets can get it and they dont give it away no matter how much money you offer."
So is there anywhere that still sells it to regular people? Peru? Is pento just non-existent?? I really don't want to have to do another method , everything else looks too painful or like I would back out due to survival instinct.

Ya I'm way too depressed to do all that haha but if it was a way I probably would try to get a temp job at a clinic

Far too much histrionics. Just choose another method.

It is easy to drink poison that will kill you, but it is not so easy to get this poison. Soooo…..?

Cusco & Cocaine, is so much easier than N.

A lovely wine picnic on top of a mountain, and boom!
Instant death.

A delicious margarita lunch at sea, and splash!
Instant death.

Beers and grilled steak by the campfire, then drop the noose!
Instant death.

 

[ferrie]

What's your method if u don't mind me asking? Are there any other methods that are easier to acquire but mostly painless and quick? I don't have access to a firearm so I can't do that and I'd likely be too scared to pull the trigger. Something not as gruesome preferably. I've heard ppl talking about carfentanyl or just fentanyl but I'd have no clue who to talk to for that or how I'd test it's purity.

My preferred method would be a firearm. If I'm not able to make that pan out, then I'm going with potassium nitrite, same basic premise as SN was just easier to source for me. Yeah fentanyl sounds pretty peaceful, I just personally wouldn't fuck around with anything that might cause me legal trouble. If I had the means, I would honestly go with inert gases or carbon monoxide, they seem the most peaceful to me

 

[Esokabat]

My preferred method would be a firearm. If I'm not able to make that pan out, then I'm going with potassium nitrite, same basic premise as SN was just easier to source for me. Yeah fentanyl sounds pretty peaceful, I just personally wouldn't fuck around with anything that might cause me legal trouble. If I had the means, I would honestly go with inert gases or carbon monoxide, they seem the most peaceful to me

How do you know that KNO2 has the same effect as SN? There aren't much talk about KNO2 on this forum

 

[justwannadip]

My preferred method would be a firearm. If I'm not able to make that pan out, then I'm going with potassium nitrite, same basic premise as SN was just easier to source for me. Yeah fentanyl sounds pretty peaceful, I just personally wouldn't fuck around with anything that might cause me legal trouble. If I had the means, I would honestly go with inert gases or carbon monoxide, they seem the most peaceful to me

Hm never heard about potassium nitrite, does it have the same effectiveness as SN? Ya inert gases would be a backup option for me, I just worry about failing cus the setup seems complex. I'd do helium but I also worry about how pure the helium is or if its mixed with other things. Also scared my SI will kick in and I'll abort and have perm brain damage… I've been looking into DDMAPh (medical aid in dying) but I need to do more research on finding out how to get some of the drugs reliably. I could get amitriptyline and diazepam from my psych easily, but the digoxin, 15g of morphine, and phenobarbital would be difficult and I wouldn't know where to start. I don't have a heart condition so I couldn't get digoxin prescribed, 15g of morphine is a shit ton and I'd probably have to find a source on the DN even tho I don't know how to use it, and the pheno I'd either have to try and get from a vet or from the DN too.

 

[martinso67]

Medication in general is getting more restricted, but there is also a shortage in medications because of crisis in globalism. I think the future of euthanasia lies in non-medical means to end one's life.
Exit and another similar organization are pushing more and more the gas (plastic bag) method.

 

[ferrie]

How do you know that KNO2 has the same effect as SN? There aren't much talk about KNO2 on this forum

I was a medical student & have access to medical journals, so I've been able to look up reports on potassium nitrite toxicity

Hm never heard about potassium nitrite, does it have the same effectiveness as SN? Ya inert gases would be a backup option for me, I just worry about failing cus the setup seems complex. I'd do helium but I also worry about how pure the helium is or if its mixed with other things. Also scared my SI will kick in and I'll abort and have perm brain damage… I've been looking into DDMAPh (medical aid in dying) but I need to do more research on finding out how to get some of the drugs reliably. I could get amitriptyline and diazepam from my psych easily, but the digoxin, 15g of morphine, and phenobarbital would be difficult and I wouldn't know where to start. I don't have a heart condition so I couldn't get digoxin prescribed, 15g of morphine is a shit ton and I'd probably have to find a source on the DN even tho I don't know how to use it, and the pheno I'd either have to try and get from a vet or from the DN too.

Potassium nitrite works the same way as SN, but it requires a higher dose to be toxic. The set up for inert gases is fairly complex, so I would honestly go carbon monoxide myself before choosing an inert gas. If I was able to get all the parts for an IG setup though, I would go with nitrogen. It's way easier to find than pure helium. The variations of DDMAPh all seem peaceful, but sourcing that much morphine is gonna be tough. Also have to consider ROA bc taking that much medication orally doesn't seem viable

 

[justwannadip]

I was a medical student & have access to medical journals, so I've been able to look up reports on potassium nitrite toxicity

Potassium nitrite works the same way as SN, but it requires a higher dose to be toxic. The set up for inert gases is fairly complex, so I would honestly go carbon monoxide myself before choosing an inert gas. If I was able to get all the parts for an IG setup though, I would go with nitrogen. It's way easier to find than pure helium. The variations of DDMAPh all seem peaceful, but sourcing that much morphine is gonna be tough. Also have to consider ROA bc taking that much medication orally doesn't seem viable

Thats cool i didnt know that about potassium nitrite. How was med school btw? I was thinking of being a med student but I'm just way too inconsistent due to having way too many mental health episodes. But medicine is one of the few things that somewhat interests me, specifically neuroscience.

How would you do the CO method without putting others at risk tho? Thats what I worry about since it can be rlly hard to contain. For the nitrogen method, do you know how bad the damage would be if your SI made you take off the bag/mask? I feel like my SI would be too strong due to my anxiety and ocd which causes me to doubt and panic. I like the idea of downing something and laughing one last time at my brain blaming me and trying to tell me I made the wrong decision and all of a sudden making me believe that there's hope when it's been trying to kill me every time I attempt to try and get better. Ultimate irony.

Ya, I've also read that many are skeptical about DIY DDMAPh due to there just being way too much powder from added non-essential contents to consume, whereas the official maid method has specific lab made compounds that don't contain the other stuff. I would need to be sure it would work before I did everything. The DDMAPh method still seems questionable even if you manage to obtain the medications. I hope I find some info that could better reassure me about it, or better yet, a method that is actually reliable, available and relatively painless…

 

[ferrie]

Thats cool i didnt know that about potassium nitrite. How was med school btw? I was thinking of being a med student but I'm just way too inconsistent due to having way too many mental health episodes. But medicine is one of the few things that somewhat interests me, specifically neuroscience.

How would you do the CO method without putting others at risk tho? Thats what I worry about since it can be rlly hard to contain. For the nitrogen method, do you know how bad the damage would be if your SI made you take off the bag/mask? I feel like my SI would be too strong due to my anxiety and ocd which causes me to doubt and panic. I like the idea of downing something and laughing one last time at my brain blaming me and trying to tell me I made the wrong decision and all of a sudden making me believe that there's hope when it's been trying to kill me every time I attempt to try and get better. Ultimate irony.

Ya, I've also read that many are skeptical about DIY DDMAPh due to there just being way too much powder from added non-essential contents to consume, whereas the official maid method has specific lab made compounds that don't contain the other stuff. I would need to be sure it would work before I did everything. The DDMAPh method still seems questionable even if you manage to obtain the medications. I hope I find some info that could better reassure me about it, or better yet, a method that is actually reliable, available and relatively painless…

I actually really enjoyed school even though it's super hard. I have some physical health issues that made attendance difficult, but going part time helped with that & my university's disability support resources department do their jobs really well. I wasn't able to finish unfortunately, but the time I did spend in classes was nice. I actually had a roommate that did neuroscience as an undergrad degree. It was really interesting, just super chemistry heavy.

People tend to do the CO method in a car or tent with warning signs to limit the danger to others. There's also a GULPS machine or similar setups using formic and sulfuric acid that can attach to a mask. For nitrogen, it really depends on if you have the right concentrations. If your concentrations are high enough, you should be unconscious before you've gone long enough without oxygen to injure yourself. If your setup is done incorrectly & there's oxygen entering the system, then you're more likely to come away with a brain injury. The important thing to remember with inert gases is that it isn't the gas itself that causes death, it's the lack of oxygen. For any gas other than carbon dioxide, you shouldn't really feel anything physically. SI can still get in the way obviously, but there wouldn't be a feeling of suffocation or anything.

ODs in general can be hard to get to work. DIY DDMAPh just doesn't seem viable orally to me. Even just the individual amounts of each medication seem likely to make you vomit. The only way I could see it as viable would be IV, but the vast majority of people would not be able to do the setup for that properly. If I really wanted to do a drug OD, I'd go for straight ami. I've survived medication overdoses though, and it's not a pleasant experience

 

[TheLastBoyOnEarth]

I bought N in Peru a few months ago. Without prescription. It was surprisingly easy. I managed to smuggle it back and I'm now planning so my death is as easy as it can be for everybody.

 

[justwannadip]

I actually really enjoyed school even though it's super hard. I have some physical health issues that made attendance difficult, but going part time helped with that & my university's disability support resources department do their jobs really well. I wasn't able to finish unfortunately, but the time I did spend in classes was nice. I actually had a roommate that did neuroscience as an undergrad degree. It was really interesting, just super chemistry heavy.

People tend to do the CO method in a car or tent with warning signs to limit the danger to others. There's also a GULPS machine or similar setups using formic and sulfuric acid that can attach to a mask. For nitrogen, it really depends on if you have the right concentrations. If your concentrations are high enough, you should be unconscious before you've gone long enough without oxygen to injure yourself. If your setup is done incorrectly & there's oxygen entering the system, then you're more likely to come away with a brain injury. The important thing to remember with inert gases is that it isn't the gas itself that causes death, it's the lack of oxygen. For any gas other than carbon dioxide, you shouldn't really feel anything physically. SI can still get in the way obviously, but there wouldn't be a feeling of suffocation or anything.

ODs in general can be hard to get to work. DIY DDMAPh just doesn't seem viable orally to me. Even just the individual amounts of each medication seem likely to make you vomit. The only way I could see it as viable would be IV, but the vast majority of people would not be able to do the setup for that properly. If I really wanted to do a drug OD, I'd go for straight ami. I've survived medication overdoses though, and it's not a pleasant experience

That's really awesome I'm glad it was good while it lasted for you. I've always had the intelligence to achieve things academically but my extreme neuroticism and mental health issues meant I could never be consistent for more than a couple months before having an episode or dissociating into addiction/distraction. Med school could have been cool. Story of my life is that I see an image of a good life I feel like I could have had if I wasn't always working against me, but that life is always out of reach.

When you put it that way, CO method seems to be the most available painless method. So why isn't it done more often or talked about as much as methods like SN? What's the simplest way to do the CO method? I don't have a car. And ya, I wouldn't try to OD on anything unless I knew it would put me to sleep and would kill me. Def don't want to have the horror of being in pain and having my body pumped by doctors, or even worse, having my SI kick in to where I myself call the ambulance. Can't imagine something so embarrassing and pointless as that. I've never wanted to attempt ctb for attention, in fact I dread the thought of people knowing I tried to ctb while I'm still here.

For nitrogen, whats the best method? When you say you don't have the means to do it is it just the equipment part? You mentioned that if oxygen enters the system during the inert gas method that there's more chance for brain injury; is that because you may survive it? Like what if there was little-to no oxygen but last second your SI makes you force yourself out of the car/mask/tent, what are the odds of brain damage then? I think that's the scariest part cus knowing me and how anxious and panicked I get around making decisions, I'll panic and try to get out once I've started unless I'm asleep and passed out already. That's why N and ddmaph are so appealing to me because once it's in my system there's nothing I can do about it and I should be asleep in 10 mins or less.

I really hope I can find more info or that a new version of PPH comes out and gives a tested and reliable DIY DDMAPh type method. I hope you find the peace you deserve as well, and that whatever you choose works out for you. Right now I'm at the research stage of things so I don't have a planned date or whatever until I get all the things I need. Thanks for all the info

I bought N in Peru a few months ago. Without prescription. It was surprisingly easy. I managed to smuggle it back and I'm now planning so my death is as easy as it can be for everybody.

Wow that's awesome.
Once I have enough money for the flight, I'll likely be going there too if I know whereabouts to go to find it. If I may ask, how much was the N? Was it reasonable? I'd like to know how much money I'll need for the trip.
I'm happy you were able to find a peaceful method. I hope that you find peace in whatever you choose

 

[ferrie]

That's really awesome I'm glad it was good while it lasted for you. I've always had the intelligence to achieve things academically but my extreme neuroticism and mental health issues meant I could never be consistent for more than a couple months before having an episode or dissociating into addiction/distraction. Med school could have been cool. Story of my life is that I see an image of a good life I feel like I could have had if I wasn't always working against me, but that life is always out of reach.

When you put it that way, CO method seems to be the most available painless method. So why isn't it done more often or talked about as much as methods like SN? What's the simplest way to do the CO method? I don't have a car. And ya, I wouldn't try to OD on anything unless I knew it would put me to sleep and would kill me. Def don't want to have the horror of being in pain and having my body pumped by doctors, or even worse, having my SI kick in to where I myself call the ambulance. Can't imagine something so embarrassing and pointless as that. I've never wanted to attempt ctb for attention, in fact I dread the thought of people knowing I tried to ctb while I'm still here.

For nitrogen, whats the best method? When you say you don't have the means to do it is it just the equipment part? You mentioned that if oxygen enters the system during the inert gas method that there's more chance for brain injury; is that because you may survive it? Like what if there was little-to no oxygen but last second your SI makes you force yourself out of the car/mask/tent, what are the odds of brain damage then? I think that's the scariest part cus knowing me and how anxious and panicked I get around making decisions, I'll panic and try to get out once I've started unless I'm asleep and passed out already. That's why N and ddmaph are so appealing to me because once it's in my system there's nothing I can do about it and I should be asleep in 10 mins or less.

I really hope I can find more info or that a new version of PPH comes out and gives a tested and reliable DIY DDMAPh type method. I hope you find the peace you deserve as well, and that whatever you choose works out for you. Right now I'm at the research stage of things so I don't have a planned date or whatever until I get all the things I need. Thanks for all the info

Wow that's awesome.
Once I have enough money for the flight, I'll likely be going there too if I know whereabouts to go to find it. If I may ask, how much was the N? Was it reasonable? I'd like to know how much money I'll need for the trip.
I'm happy you were able to find a peaceful method. I hope that you find peace in whatever you choose

Oh I totally get you on the seeing an image of a good life thing. I've tried so many times to reinvent myself & actually did recover a few times. I've just run out of any motivation to pick myself back up. It's really hard to bear when the life you want isn't something you can have.

The most accessible way to go about CO is the charcoal method in a car or a tent. There's a few megathreads about it. I think it doesn't get talked about as much as SN or N bc poisons are pretty romanticized. Plus a lot of people want to pass peacefully in bed. CO analyzers to measure your concentration are also really expensive & not everyone is able to successfully seal off their space.

For nitrogen, I'd look into SCUBA or EEBD hoods. And yeah I just can't get the equipment. I don't drive & don't live alone, so I wouldn't be able to do a whole tank set up. If oxygen enters the system, you are way more likely to survive. There has to be no oxygen in the system to guarantee ctb. Low enough oxygen may still be successful, but it prolongs the process so increased chance of SI taking over or being found. I can't give exact odds on brain damage bc it's very situational, but the longer you are in a low oxygen environment, the higher the chances of damage if you survive. If you abort quickly, you should be perfectly fine.

The PPH has updates every month, but afaik very little changes between versions. I doubt there will be an update that suddenly has a perfect DIY drug method, but I hope you're able to find some peace whatever you decide. My current plan is to go sometime next week, so thank you for the well wishes And of course! I hope at least some of what I've said was helpful

 

[TheLastBoyOnEarth]

Wow that's awesome.
Once I have enough money for the flight, I'll likely be going there too if I know whereabouts to go to find it. If I may ask, how much was the N? Was it reasonable? I'd like to know how much money I'll need for the trip.
I'm happy you were able to find a peaceful method. I hope that you find peace in whatever you choose

60 peruvian soles each bottle if I remember correctly. It's cheap for me, yeah. As it is the most peaceful way to go.

 

[justwannadip]

Oh I totally get you on the seeing an image of a good life thing. I've tried so many times to reinvent myself & actually did recover a few times. I've just run out of any motivation to pick myself back up. It's really hard to bear when the life you want isn't something you can have.

The most accessible way to go about CO is the charcoal method in a car or a tent. There's a few megathreads about it. I think it doesn't get talked about as much as SN or N bc poisons are pretty romanticized. Plus a lot of people want to pass peacefully in bed. CO analyzers to measure your concentration are also really expensive & not everyone is able to successfully seal off their space.

For nitrogen, I'd look into SCUBA or EEBD hoods. And yeah I just can't get the equipment. I don't drive & don't live alone, so I wouldn't be able to do a whole tank set up. If oxygen enters the system, you are way more likely to survive. There has to be no oxygen in the system to guarantee ctb. Low enough oxygen may still be successful, but it prolongs the process so increased chance of SI taking over or being found. I can't give exact odds on brain damage bc it's very situational, but the longer you are in a low oxygen environment, the higher the chances of damage if you survive. If you abort quickly, you should be perfectly fine.

The PPH has updates every month, but afaik very little changes between versions. I doubt there will be an update that suddenly has a perfect DIY drug method, but I hope you're able to find some peace whatever you decide. My current plan is to go sometime next week, so thank you for the well wishes And of course! I hope at least some of what I've said was helpful

For the tank setup, is there any electricity required? Like could I rent out a camp site and do it there? But ya i've looked into the SCBA and EEBD methods and honestly they seem so complex I'd need someone to hold my hand through the buying and setup process. I specifically looked at the former user "gasmonkey"'s thread and it just looked so high tech, expensive and complex.
I def see why OD'ing is romanticized since it seems more peaceful/natural, and much easier. What do you think the easiest inert gas method is? I've heard some people mention liquid nitrogen as well but I have to do more research on how that works

60 peruvian soles each bottle if I remember correctly. It's cheap for me, yeah. As it is the most peaceful way to go.

Thx for sharing that. That's really cheap wow. Only thing I'll be forking out is for the plane flight. I do want to bring the N home tho and not ctb in peru as that would be extremely complicated and likely expensive for my family to have to locate me and bring my body back. Was it difficult to smuggle it back through customs? Thanks again

 

[ferrie]

For the tank setup, is there any electricity required? Like could I rent out a camp site and do it there? But ya i've looked into the SCBA and EEBD methods and honestly they seem so complex I'd need someone to hold my hand through the buying and setup process. I specifically looked at the former user "gasmonkey"'s thread and it just looked so high tech, expensive and complex.
I def see why OD'ing is romanticized since it seems more peaceful/natural, and much easier. What do you think the easiest inert gas method is? I've heard some people mention liquid nitrogen as well but I have to do more research on how that works

Thx for sharing that. That's really cheap wow. Only thing I'll be forking out is for the plane flight. I do want to bring the N home tho and not ctb in peru as that would be extremely complicated and likely expensive for my family to have to locate me and bring my body back. Was it difficult to smuggle it back through customs? Thanks again

No electricity required, it's all controlled by valves. Inert gases are definitely expense & technical skill heavy. I've seen the liquid nitrogen threads too, and that would be the easiest way to go about it. Something about it seems too good to be true though, and you risk frostbite if you decide to abort. There's pros and cons to different gases. The main three I see discussed are helium, nitrogen, and argon. Helium is hard to find in a high enough purity, but if you can find it the vendor won't ask too many questions. Nitrogen can be found relatively easily, I've seen people say that they've even had it delivered to their house, but you might get some push back if the vendor doesn't believe that you know what you're doing with it. Argon requires a different set up than the other two to control the flow & I think it's more expensive. Carbon monoxide canisters are also a thing, probably difficult to source though

 

[TheLastBoyOnEarth]

Thx for sharing that. That's really cheap wow. Only thing I'll be forking out is for the plane flight. I do want to bring the N home tho and not ctb in peru as that would be extremely complicated and likely expensive for my family to have to locate me and bring my body back. Was it difficult to smuggle it back through customs? Thanks again

It was easy to me, I don't know if I was lucky or if it is easy. I have relatives who work in a farm so that was my excuse in case they stopped me. But nothing happened.