lament.
the Immortal
- Jun 28, 2023
- 174
I will spare the details but when I was not in my room my parents clearly found the rope I had been using for partial, and was eventually going to try and use for full suspension hanging.
They haven't mentioned it to me, they haven't questioned what it was for, or how I got it. Nothing. They just quietly took it away and I have no idea where it is. I don't know what to do, I don't know how to bring it up or if I even should.
It feels like everything around me is crumbling now, it might sound silly to some but even just knowing that I had that rope stored away gave me solace. It's ironic but now that it's gone I realise having it there as a means to escape from life was helping my mental health significantly more than I first thought.
I'm turning 20 in a week. I never intended to live this long and I was going to full suspension hang a day or two before my birthday. I do not wish to see myself age another year. I don't know what to do anymore. It's infuriating. I had finally found a decent forest to go die in, but now it's been ripped out of my hands mere days before I was actually going to go and do it.
I'm beginning to give up on any hope of a 'peaceful' death. Partial always fails me with my lack of good anchor points, I've yet to find reliable SN and I lack privacy at home. There are a few other methods available to me but I did not wish to go through with them because of phobias or the likely possibility of dragging others into being witnesses to my death.
They haven't mentioned it to me, they haven't questioned what it was for, or how I got it. Nothing. They just quietly took it away and I have no idea where it is. I don't know what to do, I don't know how to bring it up or if I even should.
It feels like everything around me is crumbling now, it might sound silly to some but even just knowing that I had that rope stored away gave me solace. It's ironic but now that it's gone I realise having it there as a means to escape from life was helping my mental health significantly more than I first thought.
I'm turning 20 in a week. I never intended to live this long and I was going to full suspension hang a day or two before my birthday. I do not wish to see myself age another year. I don't know what to do anymore. It's infuriating. I had finally found a decent forest to go die in, but now it's been ripped out of my hands mere days before I was actually going to go and do it.
I'm beginning to give up on any hope of a 'peaceful' death. Partial always fails me with my lack of good anchor points, I've yet to find reliable SN and I lack privacy at home. There are a few other methods available to me but I did not wish to go through with them because of phobias or the likely possibility of dragging others into being witnesses to my death.