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lament.

lament.

the Immortal
Jun 28, 2023
156
I will spare the details but when I was not in my room my parents clearly found the rope I had been using for partial, and was eventually going to try and use for full suspension hanging.

They haven't mentioned it to me, they haven't questioned what it was for, or how I got it. Nothing. They just quietly took it away and I have no idea where it is. I don't know what to do, I don't know how to bring it up or if I even should.

It feels like everything around me is crumbling now, it might sound silly to some but even just knowing that I had that rope stored away gave me solace. It's ironic but now that it's gone I realise having it there as a means to escape from life was helping my mental health significantly more than I first thought.

I'm turning 20 in a week. I never intended to live this long and I was going to full suspension hang a day or two before my birthday. I do not wish to see myself age another year. I don't know what to do anymore. It's infuriating. I had finally found a decent forest to go die in, but now it's been ripped out of my hands mere days before I was actually going to go and do it.

I'm beginning to give up on any hope of a 'peaceful' death. Partial always fails me with my lack of good anchor points, I've yet to find reliable SN and I lack privacy at home. There are a few other methods available to me but I did not wish to go through with them because of phobias or the likely possibility of dragging others into being witnesses to my death.
 
lament.

lament.

the Immortal
Jun 28, 2023
156
Can you make another one?

No, I have no materials to make a rope unfortunately. The last one I had because I bought it online and got it shipped but I think at this point either what I order is going to be looked through or it will just be found again when I'm not in my room.

It's a good idea though, if I somehow get what I need then I will do so.
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

She wished that she never existed...
Sep 24, 2020
34,360
I understand why you'd feel so infuriated, I really wish it's straightforward to just die in a peaceful way. But anyway I hope that you eventually find the peace you search for.
 
Dark Window

Dark Window

Experienced
Mar 12, 2024
292
No, I have no materials to make a rope unfortunately. The last one I had because I bought it online and got it shipped but I think at this point either what I order is going to be looked through or it will just be found again when I'm not in my room.

It's a good idea though, if I somehow get what I need then I will do so.
The only way you're likely to get it back is if you convince them you were using it for other reasons, but I don't know what you can say to make them think it was for something else.

Do you have a tree in your garden? Perhaps you convince them you were going to make a swing with it?
 
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rozeske

Maybe I am the problem
Dec 2, 2023
2,680
Oh am sorry. That's gotta really be an awkward atmosphere. If the noose wasn't tied at the end, try and convince them it was for a different intention like rope jumping or old times style measuring or something. If you too avoid mentioning the misplaced rope it will kind of be obvious.
 
kilowatt

kilowatt

A gun is the greatest negociator
Sep 9, 2023
318
The only way you're likely to get it back is if you convince them you were using it for other reasons, but I don't know what you can say to make them think it was for something else.

Do you have a tree in your garden? Perhaps you convince them you were going to make a swing with it?
I've heard of people getting away with it saying it's for a school project or just like the swing, something crafty, maybe even materials for some decoration.. You could also say it's for some kind of fetish but I doubt anyone would deliberately tell their parents that.
 

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