Venting Getting the most out of life before I ropemaxx

[skyunderthesea]

I've fucked everything up. I have almost no money and immediately spend it when I get it, I haven't registered for classes, and I have no motivation to get better anymore. It's too hard. Everything is too hard. I just can't keep going. There's a few things I wanna do before I rope though. My friend's birthday party is on Saturday, I have a concert I really wanna see that I've already paid for, and most of all I need to find some roundabout way to apologize to my two closest friends. One of them especially has really been trying to help me and get me to keep pushing through and I need some way to let him know it's not his fault that I'm a failure who ruined his own life. He's told me he wants me to be happy and has taken it as a personal mission to make me get better. I just hope he can understand that the closest I can get to happiness is to feel and be nothing at all. I know regardless of what I do he'll feel some sort of guilt over it but maybe it'll help. After I get back from the concert, I'm gonna hang myself deep in the forest where nobody will find me and maybe the hope that I've just run away will keep everyone going. I probably won't get far enough in to never be found but I'll be found by search and rescue teams or something and not my family which makes me feel better.

Hanging-wise, is it better to do partial hanging, full hanging, or climb up a tree high enough and jump to break my neck/decapitate myself? In a grim way I'm kind of interested in what the last minutes as a decapitated head are like but finding me like that would probably be way worse for whatever poor rescuer stumbles upon me. Assuming some wild animal doesn't eat me first (I do live in Canada).

 

[ctb_warrior]

I'm sorry that you've had to go through this.. It's not easy to be in this situation.
I hope you get to enjoy that concert so you get some good life experience before you go on the journey of achieving peace.

To answer your questions, if you can find your carotids, partial or full both are fine. As far as i have read on the threads on this site, people who were able to find the sweet spot managed to lose consciousness quickly within 30 seconds and the rest would have been peaceful. On the other hand, there are people who got strangulated and had to abort it.
So, find the carotids and do some good experiments with it. Go through the existing threads to get more ideas about what works and what doesn't.
Experiment until you can perfect your method.. If partial is feasible then you can achieve it at your home also if you've a good anchor point you can use

 

[skyunderthesea]

To answer your questions, if you can find your carotids, partial or full both are fine. As far as i have read on the threads on this site, people who were able to find the sweet spot managed to lose consciousness quickly within 30 seconds and the rest would have been peaceful. On the other hand, there are people who got strangulated and had to abort it.
So, find the carotids and do some good experiments with it. Go through the existing threads to get more ideas about what works and what doesn't.
Experiment until you can perfect your method.. If partial is feasible then you can achieve it at your home also if you've a good anchor point you can use

I've done some dry run partial hanging and my main concern is SI kicking in, which is why I'm leaning full hanging on a tree branch, so I can't pussy out. I don't want to do it at home because I live with my grandparents and I don't want them seeing my corpse with piss and shit all over it. I'm doing this partially because I'm a burden to them and I don't need to burden them even more with that mental image. If someone has to find me I'd rather it be some kind of professional or at least a stranger.I'm sorry that you've had to go through this.. It's not easy to be in this situation.

I hope you get to enjoy that concert so you get some good life experience before you go on the journey of achieving peace.

Me too. It's one of my favourite bands of all time (Pierce the Veil) and I'd like to go out on at least a somewhat positive note.

 

[ctb_warrior]

I've done some dry run partial hanging and my main concern is SI kicking in, which is why I'm leaning full hanging on a tree branch, so I can't pussy out. I don't want to do it at home because I live with my grandparents and I don't want them seeing my corpse with piss and shit all over it. I'm doing this partially because I'm a burden to them and I don't need to burden them even more with that mental image. If someone has to find me I'd rather it be some kind of professional or at least a stranger.I'm sorry that you've had to go through this.. It's not easy to be in this situation.

Me too. It's one of my favourite bands of all time (Pierce the Veil) and I'd like to go out on at least a somewhat positive note.

That's true, i myself fear hanging a lot as i don't want to get strangulated. If i can lose consciousness within 30 seconds, then only I'm happy to go with it. Otherwise, thought of strangulation for 10-15 minutes, that's horror to me.
Your thought is very noble. Do go and find a trustworthy spot where you can plan this out
When i lived away from my family, i looked at some of the trees where I could have ctbed, some of the trees were too tall to even tie my rope there for a stable anchor.
Being prepared in advance will be helpful so you have a tree where you can have the rope tied for successful ctb attempt.

Yeah i really want you to enjoy your favourite bands, you deserve some good time. Concerts energise a lot. I have attended two and they are still memorable

 

[skyunderthesea]

That's true, i myself fear hanging a lot as i don't want to get strangulated. If i can lose consciousness within 30 seconds, then only I'm happy to go with it. Otherwise, thought of strangulation for 10-15 minutes, that's horror to me.
Your thought is very noble. Do go and find a trustworthy spot where you can plan this out
When i lived away from my family, i looked at some of the trees where I could have ctbed, some of the trees were too tall to even tie my rope there for a stable anchor.
Being prepared in advance will be helpful so you have a tree where you can have the rope tied for successful ctb attempt.

Yeah i really want you to enjoy your favourite bands, you deserve some good time. Concerts energise a lot. I have attended two and they are still memorable

I find the loss of control of full hanging peaceful and comforting in a way. Even if I absolutely fuck it up, there's nothing I can do other than just dangle there. No way to escape so may as well just let it happen. I live near plenty of forest so I have lots of options. A lot of trees around here have thick straight branches too so it's very easy to do. I'm also good at climbing trees so all in all hanging myself in the forest is probably the best option for a real end to it all. I'd shoot myself but I'm too lazy to get a gun licence so hanging it is.

 

[ctb_warrior]

I find the loss of control of full hanging peaceful and comforting in a way. Even if I absolutely fuck it up, there's nothing I can do other than just dangle there. No way to escape so may as well just let it happen. I live near plenty of forest so I have lots of options. A lot of trees around here have thick straight branches too so it's very easy to do. I'm also good at climbing trees so all in all hanging myself in the forest is probably the best option for a real end to it all. I'd shoot myself but I'm too lazy to get a gun licence so hanging it is.

Ohh that's really good that you are good at climbing trees, then it's not going to be challenging for you at all. When i looked up at that tall tree, i was like how tf will i even tie the rope.. so as you can climb it, that problem is solved. Any tree will work.
Hanging is a certain way to go.. peaceful or not that depends on hitting the sweet spot.
Yeah, gun is brutal way to go. Your plan sounds good to me..

 

[skyunderthesea]

Ohh that's really good that you are good at climbing trees, then it's not going to be challenging for you at all. When i looked up at that tall tree, i was like how tf will i even tie the rope.. so as you can climb it, that problem is solved. Any tree will work.
Hanging is a certain way to go.. peaceful or not that depends on hitting the sweet spot.
Yeah, gun is brutal way to go. Your plan sounds good to me..

Yeah, my current plan is to climb a tree with a backpack with booze and rope, get everything tied in advance and then just start drinking so I don't feel so scared. My previous plan was to get super drunk and throw myself off a bridge and drown but hanging won't take so long, and being drunk the headrush of the arteries being cut off won't feel so bad. I'll also bring my earbuds so my dying memories will be of drunken lightheadedness with my favourite song playing.

 

[ctb_warrior]

Yeah, my current plan is to climb a tree with a backpack with booze and rope, get everything tied in advance and then just start drinking so I don't feel so scared. My previous plan was to get super drunk and throw myself off a bridge and drown but hanging won't take so long, and being drunk the headrush of the arteries being cut off won't feel so bad. I'll also bring my earbuds so my dying memories will be of drunken lightheadedness with my favourite song playing.

This is a good idea