Venting how do i get over losing the love of my life

[adventures]

i'm sure this feeling will go away in a few months or years but for now i'm so lost on how to get over someone i loved so much, the person who kept me alive for months when i felt as if i had no other option other than suicide, he was perfect and still almost is but my mental health has gotten too much for him which is understandable i'd hate to bring anyone down with me but he's the only hope i've ever had in my life and the only thing that ever brings me happiness anymore, i've revolved my entire life about him and depend on him intensely because i've always thought he was perfect for me so i really believed it would be worth because he tried to get me to love him for 3 months, he spoiled me all the time and gave me everything i've ever wanted in a person, he would put 100% of his energy, affection and attention all into me, he'd always make sure i would come first in anything even if it meant him getting into issues or problems because of it but at the time i could only mentally give 50% of anything and i also wasn't looking for a relationship which i made sure he was aware about, he kept trying for a few months until i finally fell in love with him as well, i started putting my all into the relationship and giving him 100%, i'd drain all my energy on him, my money and everything i had to give while slowly he kept doing less which was okay at the time considering he had a lot to deal with but ever since i fell for him i've been giving my all while hes been doing almost nothing, i believed i wasn't doing enough so i'd change to be perfect and hope that it finally made him happy and it did for a while until it somehow backfired and became too much for him, i've tried for months to do everything and anything for him and to make our life work out in the future but now hes telling me that hes been falling out of love with me and it's been happening for a while and i really don't know what to do, i've sacrificed everything i have to be left with nothing and ontop of that he keeps doing things that hurts me and makes me feel so upset and angry at him that makes me feel like i almost hate him, how do i cope with this? if i take my anger out on him it'll make him struggle to love me more but having so much anger and sorrow left aside just leaves me unable to talk to him, it feels like every option i have just leads to me losing him, i extremely regret trying love and relationships again after swearing i wouldn't, are some people just not made for relationships? or am i just too high maintenance i don't know

 

[ThroughTheLight]

Hey, I just want to say that I'm really sorry you're going through this. I understand your situation. I'm in a similar one right now, where the girl I truly care about sm has left me, and it turns out that she probably had a boyfriend the whole time. Firstly I don't think you should spend your energy being angry at him; that might make things heated and worse. You could find some way to cope with anger, for example playing games, screaming into a pillow, venting more online, etc, but I'm not sure what you would be most open to. In regards to moving on... I really have no idea because I can't stop thinking about her lol. Maybe distractions would help? Try to do activities you enjoy and hopefully the pain at least temporarily gets better. I don't think you're not made for relationships at all; there could easily be someone for you. Although it makes sense to be very cautious with that kind of thing in the future, don't close yourself off completely to other opportunities if they come in your path. I won't guarantee it will happen, but I hope it does for you :)

 

[goodbad&ugly777]

I'm in the same boat. I've been trying to make new friends but it all feels so empty without having her to talk to and be with. Making new friends helps, or trying to find a hobby you enjoy. Anything that takes your mind off them. Maybe try to meet new people to date? But, I know that's hard cause I've tried and I just fuck it all up. I've always needed someone to talk to about my mental health so I understand how you feel. If you date someone who isn't going to listen to you vent or try and comfort you even though you are struggling then they might not be for you.

 

[wylcel]

i'm sure this feeling will go away in a few months or years but for now i'm so lost on how to get over someone i loved so much, the person who kept me alive for months when i felt as if i had no other option other than suicide, he was perfect and still almost is but my mental health has gotten too much for him which is understandable i'd hate to bring anyone down with me but he's the only hope i've ever had in my life and the only thing that ever brings me happiness anymore, i've revolved my entire life about him and depend on him intensely because i've always thought he was perfect for me so i really believed it would be worth because he tried to get me to love him for 3 months, he spoiled me all the time and gave me everything i've ever wanted in a person, he would put 100% of his energy, affection and attention all into me, he'd always make sure i would come first in anything even if it meant him getting into issues or problems because of it but at the time i could only mentally give 50% of anything and i also wasn't looking for a relationship which i made sure he was aware about, he kept trying for a few months until i finally fell in love with him as well, i started putting my all into the relationship and giving him 100%, i'd drain all my energy on him, my money and everything i had to give while slowly he kept doing less which was okay at the time considering he had a lot to deal with but ever since i fell for him i've been giving my all while hes been doing almost nothing, i believed i wasn't doing enough so i'd change to be perfect and hope that it finally made him happy and it did for a while until it somehow backfired and became too much for him, i've tried for months to do everything and anything for him and to make our life work out in the future but now hes telling me that hes been falling out of love with me and it's been happening for a while and i really don't know what to do, i've sacrificed everything i have to be left with nothing and ontop of that he keeps doing things that hurts me and makes me feel so upset and angry at him that makes me feel like i almost hate him, how do i cope with this? if i take my anger out on him it'll make him struggle to love me more but having so much anger and sorrow left aside just leaves me unable to talk to him, it feels like every option i have just leads to me losing him, i extremely regret trying love and relationships again after swearing i wouldn't, are some people just not made for relationships? or am i just too high maintenance i don't know

im really sorry you're going through this. i also get that feeling that i'm just not made for relationships, everything ends up getting fucked up, but i still prefer getting to experience love even with all the suffering included, i don't think anyone should swear off love.
this is very much just me projecting my own coping mechanisms onto you but do you have any creative hobbies? i think art is the perfect thing to make out of suffering, it gives it all purpose, for me at least.