SpencerSees
I want to swim until my arms give out 🍀
- Feb 22, 2023
- 165
This is my most recent semi-retarded realization: I'm not good at yn aspect of my life. I used to think "well at least I can draw" "at least I help others" but nope, upon further examination none of those are true!
I'm a bad owner to my puppy. I love him so much but I know I can't give him the care he needs when half the time I can barely leave the bed. He deserves better.
I'm a bad daughter, firstly because i'm trans so I can't even be the daughter my parents need, but also because I'm once again horribly depressed. This ties into my next point that I'm a bad student. I failed my language exam so now I will have to work for my bachelor's degree for 4 years instead of 3. No one else in my grade had this issue.
I'm a bad friend / boyfriend. My partner has an actual panic disorder and there is no way for me to help. I've tried everything but my words barely reach him. But then again he can't help me either so maybe this is only fair. I'm also horrible to be around. Half the time I'm doomed out and the other half I desperately try to put live out in the world just on the off-chance that I'll get some of it back.
I spent the last year idolizing my high school literature teacher, because she was somewhat nice to me. We haven't talked in months and she probably doesn't even thinj about me anymore, while I cry thinking about her on the daily.
I bought a rope recently, I really feel like I could do it if I'm left alone. All I'm worried about is that my parents won't take care of my dog. Maybe I should write a note that I want them to give him to a friend I know will take good care of him? I don't know. I feel so guilty for feeling this way. I don't have it bad, I should be getting better, but I never felt so awful before. It's so embarrassing being here almost 4 years since I joined this site. I feel terrible and I don't know how to stop it for good without it being fatal
I'm a bad owner to my puppy. I love him so much but I know I can't give him the care he needs when half the time I can barely leave the bed. He deserves better.
I'm a bad daughter, firstly because i'm trans so I can't even be the daughter my parents need, but also because I'm once again horribly depressed. This ties into my next point that I'm a bad student. I failed my language exam so now I will have to work for my bachelor's degree for 4 years instead of 3. No one else in my grade had this issue.
I'm a bad friend / boyfriend. My partner has an actual panic disorder and there is no way for me to help. I've tried everything but my words barely reach him. But then again he can't help me either so maybe this is only fair. I'm also horrible to be around. Half the time I'm doomed out and the other half I desperately try to put live out in the world just on the off-chance that I'll get some of it back.
I spent the last year idolizing my high school literature teacher, because she was somewhat nice to me. We haven't talked in months and she probably doesn't even thinj about me anymore, while I cry thinking about her on the daily.
I bought a rope recently, I really feel like I could do it if I'm left alone. All I'm worried about is that my parents won't take care of my dog. Maybe I should write a note that I want them to give him to a friend I know will take good care of him? I don't know. I feel so guilty for feeling this way. I don't have it bad, I should be getting better, but I never felt so awful before. It's so embarrassing being here almost 4 years since I joined this site. I feel terrible and I don't know how to stop it for good without it being fatal
