So one of the things I do when I wake up is go to the bathroom sit next to the toilet and shower with the shower running. It helps calm me down as I know if I have a panic attack I'll throw up but I'm next to a toilet already so it is okay. Then hearing the shower run and being in an area where I know I'll be left alone for a bit makes me feel better.
Yeh I won't be able to do that for awhile now. Apparently the pipe that my shower, toilet, sink use has a leak issue somewhere somehow. Probably because of the blizzard we had or something.
So now I'm anxious as one of my coping methods is gone, my routine is messed up, and I'm more anxious then normal already because I'm going to therapy tomorrow.
Then out of no where one of the family dogs who is 10 has a seizure which it seems like she is okay now. Parents taking her to vet on Saturday. Obviously this made me super anxious and sad worrying if she will be okay. As she helps me calm down and is one of my best friends. Like I don't know if I'd be able to handle if she died. I don't know if our other dog would be able to handle it either.
Then in a few days I also have to go get some lab work done at the doctors which makes me anxious as well. It's just so shit. I'm anxious and miserable without anything to trigger me or external stressors. Then this all happens at once.
I can't imagine living like this for much longer without improvement or hope or something. Let alone the rest of my life,
Also my anxiety is super complex as it's tied to my high functioning autism, depression, genetics, and possible trauma. Also, so far all the SSRI I've tried havnt helped close to enough, same with buspirone, and hydroxyzine. The only thing that had helped was ativan but I only took it twice as it is super addictive and didn't want to risk addiction or withdrawals etc.
So yeh... just letting it all out kinda. Inputs or thoughts would be appreciated as idk wtf to do. I'm just waiting for stuff to get done. The process is sooo slow with each thing being a low chance of success it's depressing
Yeh I won't be able to do that for awhile now. Apparently the pipe that my shower, toilet, sink use has a leak issue somewhere somehow. Probably because of the blizzard we had or something.
So now I'm anxious as one of my coping methods is gone, my routine is messed up, and I'm more anxious then normal already because I'm going to therapy tomorrow.
Then out of no where one of the family dogs who is 10 has a seizure which it seems like she is okay now. Parents taking her to vet on Saturday. Obviously this made me super anxious and sad worrying if she will be okay. As she helps me calm down and is one of my best friends. Like I don't know if I'd be able to handle if she died. I don't know if our other dog would be able to handle it either.
Then in a few days I also have to go get some lab work done at the doctors which makes me anxious as well. It's just so shit. I'm anxious and miserable without anything to trigger me or external stressors. Then this all happens at once.
I can't imagine living like this for much longer without improvement or hope or something. Let alone the rest of my life,
Also my anxiety is super complex as it's tied to my high functioning autism, depression, genetics, and possible trauma. Also, so far all the SSRI I've tried havnt helped close to enough, same with buspirone, and hydroxyzine. The only thing that had helped was ativan but I only took it twice as it is super addictive and didn't want to risk addiction or withdrawals etc.
So yeh... just letting it all out kinda. Inputs or thoughts would be appreciated as idk wtf to do. I'm just waiting for stuff to get done. The process is sooo slow with each thing being a low chance of success it's depressing
