I am losing it

[Roseate]

Shit I am losing it. Goddamn I am losing it. My life sucks. I am obsessive and it's unhealthy. I don't think I have bipolar I think it's something else. I am going to do something crazy (not murder crazy just stalker crazy maybe). I'm not scared but I am nervous. I got my heart broken for the first time and I can't handle that. He promised forever and he needs to own up to it. It's going to be forever. Like he promised. He promised. My life sucks. My insurance is cancelled so now I can't see my therapist. I stopped my pills a long time ago so I'm anxious and depressed and um mood swings. I have no job. I have nothing. I had nothing but him but he left too at my hardest and I can't let him leave I can't I am so sorry nothing you guys say can change that I'm too weak. I need him. I can't live without him.

 

[wagner2029]

You don't need anyone to live, what is your current situation?
You are going through a bad time.
Rejection is always difficult to deal with.

 

[Roseate]

You don't need anyone to live, what is your current situation?
You are going through a bad time.
Rejection is always difficult to deal with.

Rejection is perfectly reasonable. That's understandable. Being used for 3 years and treated like you're just something forgettable being manipulated and blamed for everything even you've always held your actions accountable is another thing. And it's not a bad time, it's a bad life. That's what it is. And I don't need to live period. Especially if this pain is what all of life is going to be like, I didn't need this shit now I have nothing and no one. No distractions. Not one damn thing that makes me smile or happy but hey I'm still freaking breathing I guess, right? I don't have anything to show for being here. I don't have any friends. I am sick of it. I do need someone apparently even my therapist suggest making friends and using distractions I now have no friend and zero way of fully distracting myself cuz I have to deal with this stupid heartbreak on top of my stupid anxiety and my stupid depression and having these annoying suicidal thoughts in a fucking world that makes it hard to kill myself. Fucking brilliant.

 

[rozeske]

Am so sorry, it seems like you are in a really unbearable mindset. Sometimes people can be a horrible specious and make it an unlivable space. It makes you wonder how we are not extinct yet. I hope you can soon find ways to help you push through, however long that maybe.

 

[rozeske]

@Roseate and @rozeske you're gonna have to PM eachother and determine if there's any correlation between your two similar usernames

Doubtful on the similarities of origin and sentiment but I must say love the sound of @Roseate