Venting Oh... mother,

[DetachedDreamer97]

Oh, mother... as much as I wish I didn't have to say it, I just can't help but feel nothing but resentment for you. Every moment of suffering, big or small us all because of you. If it weren't for the rest of my family, especially Nana, my grandparents, aunts, I wouldn't have been able to do anything, much less speak. It was because of your alcoholism and incompetence why I was born messed up. And even of I weren't born as a screaming potato, I'd still be subjected to this damn life of being sheltered and deprived of my childhood, not to mention MY FUCKING GENETICS! I'd blame dad too with his selfishness of abandoning me, but AT LEAST he's grown up from that, taking care of his other sons. But you... YOU, it took you at least 5 children stop spawning, and you've FAILED to raise them. And you fucking drink and smoke, WHILE EVEN PREGNANT, if I recall correctly. Not only that, you tell me that you weren't planning a pregnancy at the time... but... IF THAT WAS THE CASE, WHY DIDN'T YOU ABORT US IN THE FIRST PLACE?! Then you have the AUDACITY to demand I stay alive just for YOUR sake even though you've impulsively attempted catching the bus yourself after you've already had children, and then ask ME to take care of YOU when you become of age. You selfish cunt, I would have no problems helping my grandparents if I choose to stick around long enough. But you? You best go fuck yourself into the damn nursing home. You don't deserve a child, let alone a man. Especially after what you've pulled last morning... all because of your damned you utter fool. You are the literal personification of the reason I don't mess with alcohol.

 

[woxihuanni]

Oh, mother... as much as I wish I didn't have to say it, I just can't help but feel nothing but resentment for you. Every moment of suffering, big or small us all because of you. If it weren't for the rest of my family, especially Nana, my grandparents, aunts, I wouldn't have been able to do anything, much less speak. It was because of your alcoholism and incompetence why I was born messed up. And even of I weren't born as a screaming potato, I'd still be subjected to this damn life of being sheltered and deprived of my childhood, not to mention MY FUCKING GENETICS! I'd blame dad too with his selfishness of abandoning me, but AT LEAST he's grown up from that, taking care of his other sons. But you... YOU, it took you at least 5 children stop spawning, and you've FAILED to raise them. And you fucking drink and smoke, WHILE EVEN PREGNANT, if I recall correctly. Not only that, you tell me that you weren't planning a pregnancy at the time... but... IF THAT WAS THE CASE, WHY DIDN'T YOU ABORT US IN THE FIRST PLACE?! Then you have the AUDACITY to demand I stay alive just for YOUR sake even though you've impulsively attempted catching the bus yourself after you've already had children, and then ask ME to take care of YOU when you become of age. You selfish cunt, I would have no problems helping my grandparents if I choose to stick around long enough. But you? You best go fuck yourself into the damn nursing home. You don't deserve a child, let alone a man. Especially after what you've pulled last morning... all because of your damned you utter fool. You are the literal personification of the reason I don't mess with alcohol.

It sounds like she is so much not a mother, just someone who happened to breed. As for her guilt trips, that is what god created the middle finger for.

 

[DetachedDreamer97]

It sounds like she is so much not a mother, just someone who happened to breed. As for her guilt trips, that is what god created the middle finger for.

She definitely isn't. And to think I compromised moving in with her and her boyfriend (not that I had much of a choice), I'm kicking myself. I thought she changed and stopped with her drinking. But instead, she becomes drunk and disturbs my peace. I'm only sticking around because of her boyfriend as well as my therapist whom I both like and are just dragged in my life because of my mom.

 

[woxihuanni]

Don't blame yourself for believing but don't believe anymore. If you can, it'd be liberating to get a complete emotional divorce from her, as if she was a stranger.

 

[DetachedDreamer97]

Don't blame yourself for believing but don't believe anymore. If you can, it'd be liberating to get a complete emotional divorce from her, as if she was a stranger.

Thank you. I'll try whenever I finally can.