I'm not ctb anytime soon, just experiencing SI. But here's what I want to say.
To my in laws, you never cared or loved me, never made the effort. Not even on my birthday, did you send me a message. Why? Because you don't care/love me, because I mean nothing to you, because I am nothing.
To my godmother, I thought you loved me unconditionally, instead when I couldn't cope or manage and had to do things differently for the sake of my own sanity, you rejected me. You no longer care.
To Gill, I trusted you, and you've gone behind my back, left me out, excluded me from the parish I introduced you to.
To my sixth form bullies, I had a nervous breakdown because of the lies you told. You made me into a scapegoat to cover up for your own to lies. To my then ex boyfriend, you are a bully, a nasty, insecure bully, who's true colors were revealed when you were convicted of stealing from a disabled relative.
Sixth form/high school, you did nothing to help, protect or safeguard.
To my gran, you never really loved me, as your own flesh and blood, all I was, was a source for your religious feed.
To my aunt, all I was to you was a child who you could steal from, and when I set boundaries you pushed back.
To my dad, I hate you. You were physically, emotionally, mentally and sexually abusive.
To the congregation of Jehovah's witnesses that I grew up with, you are awful, judgemental human beings, and nothing like how Christians should behave. You think you are the truth, and god's chosen people and everyone else who is part of the world will be destroyed at Armageddon, you are sorely mistaken. Now stop trying to convert me and others.
To former parish, where is the love? Would it have hurt to welcome me and and family, to make an effort? I attended church for 5 years, and the new church I now go to have welcomed me and my family and shown more love in 5 months than you ever did in 5 years.
My childhood best friend, you used me, and once you got all your driving lessons paid for, you just stop making an effort. You were never there for me, in hindsight you were never a true friend.
To the police, my child was raped and you did nothing, no support because it wasn't going to court.
To children's social care and our social worker, you were utterly appalling. You lied, were incompetent, LCC isn't fit for purpose. I had to arrange counseling for my child, because you were so inept. You caused more damage than good.
To my university, you send students to placements that weren't statutory, you lied to cover your own backs. You minuted a meeting and put it on my student record when I was telling you about my concerns. You also made me undergo fitness to practice where I cried non stop for 2-3 hours, I waited months on the verge of a panic attack for my hearing. Now 3-4 years later Social Work England are investigating and holding you to account. Shame on you. Your so called values were nothing but bare faced lies, you only care about yourselves, your pensions, and your job title. To certain members of my cohort, excluding me and physically turning your back on me. Fuck you.
Practice educator 1, you were so unprofessional, put everyone under so much strain and pressure due to your sheer incompetence.
Practice educator 2, you are manipulative, horrible, gaslighting bully. Tried to stalk me on social media.
To my previous employer and so called friend, don't you know how much it hurt to know you treated me like domestic help, unlike your other carer.
Next door neighbors, stop backyard breeding the 4 dogs you never walk, charging £1500, making £10,000k each liter, cruising around in a bmw 4x4...while you left 5-6 year old alone at 5.30am all because you are too selfish to pay money and get child care
I'm sick to death of people, I wish they would just fuck off with all their ugly behaviour. Looking your nose down at me, glaring and scowling at me, ghosting me, talking about me, telling lies, making me out to be the bad guy, so you can play the role of the victim.
Can people parent their children properly, so my son isn't being bullied or hurt by your feral offspring.
To other previous employers, you are scum, lying/cheating people out of money, because you are greedy. Forcing us to lie, to sell faulty products, telling us one thing, expecting another.
To my ex driving instructor, going on your phone to message your golfing group while you are supposed to teaching me and while I was driving down the bypass. Asshole.
To my son's school, hire more staff and stop using my child as an unpaid lacky, and fire the horrible dinner ladies who snap at children and fire the nasty teacher... instead you won't, you'll cover your backs and business will go on as normal. You'll have bullying nasty staff, and won't listen to anyone. You are protected by the governing body, so nothing will ever change. And I know you meddled with school applications, getting children into the filter high school. Children who applied late or didn't even put that school down, you meddled to get them in.I know you told the social worker we have a history of making up false accusations (we don't and the area manager apologized). My youngest will not be going to your school.
I'm tired, I feel pain, I'm exhausted, I have no fight left in me anymore, I've been fighting for 20 years, since I was 14. I'm so drained. I can't take this anymore. I can't do this anymore.
To my in laws, you never cared or loved me, never made the effort. Not even on my birthday, did you send me a message. Why? Because you don't care/love me, because I mean nothing to you, because I am nothing.
To my godmother, I thought you loved me unconditionally, instead when I couldn't cope or manage and had to do things differently for the sake of my own sanity, you rejected me. You no longer care.
To Gill, I trusted you, and you've gone behind my back, left me out, excluded me from the parish I introduced you to.
To my sixth form bullies, I had a nervous breakdown because of the lies you told. You made me into a scapegoat to cover up for your own to lies. To my then ex boyfriend, you are a bully, a nasty, insecure bully, who's true colors were revealed when you were convicted of stealing from a disabled relative.
Sixth form/high school, you did nothing to help, protect or safeguard.
To my gran, you never really loved me, as your own flesh and blood, all I was, was a source for your religious feed.
To my aunt, all I was to you was a child who you could steal from, and when I set boundaries you pushed back.
To my dad, I hate you. You were physically, emotionally, mentally and sexually abusive.
To the congregation of Jehovah's witnesses that I grew up with, you are awful, judgemental human beings, and nothing like how Christians should behave. You think you are the truth, and god's chosen people and everyone else who is part of the world will be destroyed at Armageddon, you are sorely mistaken. Now stop trying to convert me and others.
To former parish, where is the love? Would it have hurt to welcome me and and family, to make an effort? I attended church for 5 years, and the new church I now go to have welcomed me and my family and shown more love in 5 months than you ever did in 5 years.
My childhood best friend, you used me, and once you got all your driving lessons paid for, you just stop making an effort. You were never there for me, in hindsight you were never a true friend.
To the police, my child was raped and you did nothing, no support because it wasn't going to court.
To children's social care and our social worker, you were utterly appalling. You lied, were incompetent, LCC isn't fit for purpose. I had to arrange counseling for my child, because you were so inept. You caused more damage than good.
To my university, you send students to placements that weren't statutory, you lied to cover your own backs. You minuted a meeting and put it on my student record when I was telling you about my concerns. You also made me undergo fitness to practice where I cried non stop for 2-3 hours, I waited months on the verge of a panic attack for my hearing. Now 3-4 years later Social Work England are investigating and holding you to account. Shame on you. Your so called values were nothing but bare faced lies, you only care about yourselves, your pensions, and your job title. To certain members of my cohort, excluding me and physically turning your back on me. Fuck you.
Practice educator 1, you were so unprofessional, put everyone under so much strain and pressure due to your sheer incompetence.
Practice educator 2, you are manipulative, horrible, gaslighting bully. Tried to stalk me on social media.
To my previous employer and so called friend, don't you know how much it hurt to know you treated me like domestic help, unlike your other carer.
Next door neighbors, stop backyard breeding the 4 dogs you never walk, charging £1500, making £10,000k each liter, cruising around in a bmw 4x4...while you left 5-6 year old alone at 5.30am all because you are too selfish to pay money and get child care
I'm sick to death of people, I wish they would just fuck off with all their ugly behaviour. Looking your nose down at me, glaring and scowling at me, ghosting me, talking about me, telling lies, making me out to be the bad guy, so you can play the role of the victim.
Can people parent their children properly, so my son isn't being bullied or hurt by your feral offspring.
To other previous employers, you are scum, lying/cheating people out of money, because you are greedy. Forcing us to lie, to sell faulty products, telling us one thing, expecting another.
To my ex driving instructor, going on your phone to message your golfing group while you are supposed to teaching me and while I was driving down the bypass. Asshole.
To my son's school, hire more staff and stop using my child as an unpaid lacky, and fire the horrible dinner ladies who snap at children and fire the nasty teacher... instead you won't, you'll cover your backs and business will go on as normal. You'll have bullying nasty staff, and won't listen to anyone. You are protected by the governing body, so nothing will ever change. And I know you meddled with school applications, getting children into the filter high school. Children who applied late or didn't even put that school down, you meddled to get them in.I know you told the social worker we have a history of making up false accusations (we don't and the area manager apologized). My youngest will not be going to your school.
I'm tired, I feel pain, I'm exhausted, I have no fight left in me anymore, I've been fighting for 20 years, since I was 14. I'm so drained. I can't take this anymore. I can't do this anymore.
