Anyone else just simply a loser?

[TakeMeBack07]

22M here.

I'm a typical modern day loser male. Never had a romantic connection, never even had a friendship with a female. Was always puzzled by them and my interactions with them.

completely and hopelessly puzzled in many important areas of life (no career, socialising, creating and maintaining friend groups, etc). Additionally, any progress is crippled by something you've had to deal with your entire life. For me, it's my woeful social skills.

No friend group. Cannot find anyone on the same social level as you.

Bullied at school, work and at home. Escaped through video games but failed to make friendships there and was bullied there sometimes.

Anything else?

 

[thereisthemist]

oh boi u r def not alone ‍

 

[Dliena]

Born again low IQ loser right chere as well so you not lone on this OP.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I'm a pretty lame person (or at least thats how I view myself). I have no friends, I have trouble speaking to others, I have poor social skills, I'm not funny, I get overly obsessed with certain things to the point where sometimes it ends up consuming my entire being (this is especially the case with certain pieces of media and fictional characters), I'm not very smart, and I'm boring. I tend to get so overly anxious at times that I just freeze up, especially in social situations. I once had a man ask me if I was sick because I kept on freezing.

I'm also constantly confused, even when it comes to things that should be obvious. Today I got hit on by a stranger for the first time and I couldn't even tell that he was hitting on me for an embarrassing amount of time. I was really confused about what the hell was going on. By the time it finally hit me, I became too anxious to turn him down and my mom had to do it for me (I still feel very guilty about it since I'm scared that I might have ruined his day).

I've come to not hate myself for my lameness as I think everyone is a loser to some extent. Hell, my favourite band of the moment is composed of the two very awkward dudes and I think they're cool as fuck because they just don't give a shit (though it's probably a bit easier for them to get away with it since they have pretty privilege, lol). Still, I do need to really work on my social skills and start trying to better communicate my own feelings to others.

 

[BackToLobby]

I hate living without love tbh. The womens that i meet just used me to get something and then they left me depresesd and insecure.

 

[deadinsidex2]

22M here.



I'm a typical modern day loser male. Never had a romantic connection, never even had a friendship with a female. Was always puzzled by them and my interactions with them.

completely and hopelessly puzzled in many important areas of life (no career, socialising, creating and maintaining friend groups, etc). Additionally, any progress is crippled by something you've had to deal with your entire life. For me, it's my woeful social skills.

No friend group. Cannot find anyone on the same social level as you.

Bullied at school, work and at home. Escaped through video games but failed to make friendships there and was bullied there sometimes.

Anything else?

Don't talk about yourself like that bro u probably deserve better and you're probably forgetting all the shity dammed circumstances nd conditions that have effected u in life starting with the environment u grew up in you're not responsible for these things non of us are so cut yourself some slack, oh Nd bullies are some of the biggest real F ing losers out there don't even get me started lol

 

[TakeMeBack07]

I hate living without love tbh. The womens that i meet just used me to get something and then they left me depresesd and insecure.

Sorry to hear that. One of the reasons I avoid women is to not feel this pain. Especially at my age, I believe it's unlikely the first relationship would lead to marriage. I've no interest in anything else.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I'm probably the biggest loser on this site, or up there.

 

[TakeMeBack07]

Don't talk about yourself like that bro u probably deserve better and you're probably forgetting all the shity dammed circumstances nd conditions that have effected u in life starting with the environment u grew up in you're not responsible for these things non of us are so cut yourself some slack, oh Nd bullies are some of the biggest real F ing losers out there don't even get me started lol

I'm not ignoring or forgetting external things outside of my control. I just think it's wise to not inflate my current status, etc.
Thanks, though. I don't let stuff like this bother me so much, but it's gotten really bad due to stress, lack of sleep, etc.

 

[unabletocope]

I'm a loser but only because I hit the wrong choices by default, a lifetime of getting it wrong has left me with no hope and working towards taking myself out

 

[TakeMeBack07]

I'm a pretty lame person (or at least thats how I view myself). I have no friends, I have trouble speaking to others, I have poor social skills, I'm not funny, I get overly obsessed with certain things to the point where sometimes it ends up consuming my entire being (this is especially the case with certain pieces of media and fictional characters), I'm not very smart, and I'm boring. I tend to get so overly anxious at times that I just freeze up, especially in social situations. I once had a man ask me if I was sick because I kept on freezing.

I'm also constantly confused, even when it comes to things that should be obvious. Today I got hit on by a stranger for the first time and I couldn't even tell that he was hitting on me for an embarrassing amount of time. I was really confused about what the hell was going on. By the time it finally hit me, I became too anxious to turn him down and my mom had to do it for me (I still feel very guilty about it since I'm scared that I might have ruined his day).

I've come to not hate myself for my lameness as I think everyone is a loser to some extent. Hell, my favourite band of the moment is composed of the two very awkward dudes and I think they're cool as fuck because they just don't give a shit (though it's probably a bit easier for them to get away with it since they have pretty privilege, lol). Still, I do need to really work on my social skills and start trying to better communicate my own feelings to others.

I don't often hate myself for being a loser. But there are things I want changed that rely on others' perception of me.

I'm a loser but only because I hit the wrong choices by default, a lifetime of getting it wrong has left me with no hope and working towards taking myself out

Hm, honestly, I think for me it is inaction and people and me not making choices that screwed me over. It never really felt like I had a chance. There's only so weight that our personal choices have.

 

[tbroken]

I became a loser, due to PTSD. I think PTSD destroyed my life in a very bad way. I have PTSD since when i was 11/12 and i could not make proper decisions for my life. I mean, i made something out of life, but I'm here on this forum for a reason, don't I?
Bad friends, heavy drugs addicted and sociopaths made it even worst btw...

 

[Z-A]

You can't be a failure when this life isn't fair in the first place 0-0

 

[soolka]

yeah, i havent had any irl friends for years and the only person who talks to me irl is my mom lmao. but i think ive gotten used to it

 

[Clowndollie]

I have this but as a girl and with one horrible failed relationship. Now I genuinely never want to feel that pain again. I've never felt a connection with anyone and could never keep friends, jobs, school etc. At this point it has become so bad that I'm kind of in the bad headspace that I'm waiting for someone to save me. Like genuinely finding that person I'll stay with forever but I know that's sadly never going to happen anymore, that's why I want to give up.

 

[TakeMeBack07]

I have this but as a girl and with one horrible failed relationship. Now I genuinely never want to feel that pain again. I've never felt a connection with anyone and could never keep friends, jobs, school etc. At this point it has become so bad that I'm kind of in the bad headspace that I'm waiting for someone to save me. Like genuinely finding that person I'll stay with forever but I know that's sadly never going to happen anymore, that's why I want to give up.

Why did your relationship fail?

yeah, i havent had any irl friends for years and the only person who talks to me irl is my mom lmao. but i think ive gotten used to it

Same. But she has always shown preferential treatment to my siblings when it mattered.

 

[Clowndollie]

Why did your relationship fail?

I genuinely do not know. He promised me that he completely wanted to go for me and even wanted to follow relationship therapy together. I struggle with bpd which makes me clingy and sadly pretty dependent on others. I genuinely would've done everything for him so I don't know what I did wrong. Maybe the way I love was just too intense for him to handle.

 

[TakeMeBack07]

You can't be a failure when this life isn't fair in the first place 0-0

True. but you know what I mean. Most people don't have this belief when they call someone a loser. They just mean someone of low social status/beneath them in some important aspect.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

I'm probably the biggest loser on this site, or up there.

Definitely feel that way myself and by the way, I sent a pm to you regarding something.

 

[ms_beaverhousen]

22M here.

I'm a typical modern day loser male. Never had a romantic connection, never even had a friendship with a female. Was always puzzled by them and my interactions with them.

completely and hopelessly puzzled in many important areas of life (no career, socialising, creating and maintaining friend groups, etc). Additionally, any progress is crippled by something you've had to deal with your entire life. For me, it's my woeful social skills.

No friend group. Cannot find anyone on the same social level as you.

Bullied at school, work and at home. Escaped through video games but failed to make friendships there and was bullied there sometimes.

Anything else?

Well there are bigger losers than you on here, including me. You can take comfort in that. Hell I was still technically a virgin until I was 25. That's not even something that even bothers me that much anymore compared to everything else that is wrong with me and my life. ✌

I'm probably the biggest loser on this site, or up there.

I seriously doubt that...

 

[Ww42]

23M here and yep. Just your modern day loser who cuts himself, binge drinks, eats junk, and is planning on my suicide in may-june ish. Just a loser noone would ever wish to have had the displeasure of knowing

 

[Red Moon]

I kind of feel that way myself a looser.

 

[damyon]

(I do not intend to sound either motivational or depressive in this message)

I'm a typical modern day loser male. [...]

If you compare yourself to "Le alpha male", then you definitely sound like a loser.
But why would you do it?

But there are things I want changed that rely on others' perception of me.

Well, for one, if you do not "seem" like a loser to other people, they will not classify you as such. It is all about the perception... It is not about the toxic positivity or whatever; it is just my observation...

~~~

One of the reasons I avoid women is to not feel this pain.

I wrote about the same concept in a different thread:

Well, no risk, no reward.
To put it bluntly (like I always do): are you scared of going out of the house because you might get bitten by a snake or eaten by a lion? The fear of getting hurt is useful, but you need to choose the optimal threshold to act upon it...

I can give a more practical recommendation to the OP: do not be afraid of putting some time into a person, but be ready to cut the losses quickly if you determine it to be necessary. (selfish... I know)

~~~
So, you seem like an intelligent person who is capable of self-reflection. Many people simply lack this ability.
What if you just feel overwhelmed by the amount of goals you have right now? You definitely have a lot to focus on, but at least you know where to go.
Alluding to my post in a different thread

I suspect the majority can only see the end goal without considering the intermediate milestones along the way. Patience is a virtue when you know where you want to go.

 

[pilotviolin]

yeah. i just dont care anymore, if my motive to do things was "not be a loser" which it used to be for years id be disappointed and angry, and i used to end up hurting myself out of hating myself which yk what i still refuse to call it loserish, im not submitting to some random asshole who doesnt care about me wanting a quick gotem moment. i cant bring myself to give a darn, i just dont care as much for any status or respect from most people. sometimes i care, but its primal and temporary, then the illusion breaks. i just lie/stay quiet in situations to get a job or to be left alone. if i care about something or someone im not letting it be about "not being a loser".

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I seriously doubt that...

I've been active for a lot time and have seen a lot here. I don't doubt it.

 

[ms_beaverhousen]

22M here.

I'm a typical modern day loser male. Never had a romantic connection, never even had a friendship with a female. Was always puzzled by them and my interactions with them.

completely and hopelessly puzzled in many important areas of life (no career, socialising, creating and maintaining friend groups, etc). Additionally, any progress is crippled by something you've had to deal with your entire life. For me, it's my woeful social skills.

No friend group. Cannot find anyone on the same social level as you.

Bullied at school, work and at home. Escaped through video games but failed to make friendships there and was bullied there sometimes.

Anything else?

Are you by chance on the spectrum of autism in any way? Or just extremely shy?

I've been active for a lot time and have seen a lot here. I don't doubt it.

Im sorry, I can't distinguish where either of our comments are threaded to which comments. Can you elaborate? Are you saying you don't doubt that you're the biggest loser here, or up there? And I doubted that claim?

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I'm a 30 year old male who's never had a romantic relationship or even ever been on a date. Zero sexual experience and I'm not even that good at video games. I bullshitted my way through college and have a useless degree which only got me a job in retail. I'd say I'm one of the biggest losers of all time.

 

[AkaRed]

I feel you sooooo hard. 20F, complete and utter failure- got literally no prospects, dunno wtf love is like, lonely af and going to die

yippeeeeeee

<3

 

[ChildrensITV]

I'm a pretty lame person (or at least thats how I view myself). I have no friends, I have trouble speaking to others, I have poor social skills, I'm not funny, I get overly obsessed with certain things to the point where sometimes it ends up consuming my entire being (this is especially the case with certain pieces of media and fictional characters), I'm not very smart, and I'm boring. I tend to get so overly anxious at times that I just freeze up, especially in social situations. I once had a man ask me if I was sick because I kept on freezing.

I'm also constantly confused, even when it comes to things that should be obvious. Today I got hit on by a stranger for the first time and I couldn't even tell that he was hitting on me for an embarrassing amount of time. I was really confused about what the hell was going on. By the time it finally hit me, I became too anxious to turn him down and my mom had to do it for me (I still feel very guilty about it since I'm scared that I might have ruined his day).

I've come to not hate myself for my lameness as I think everyone is a loser to some extent. Hell, my favourite band of the moment is composed of the two very awkward dudes and I think they're cool as fuck because they just don't give a shit (though it's probably a bit easier for them to get away with it since they have pretty privilege, lol). Still, I do need to really work on my social skills and start trying to better communicate my own feelings to others.

You think you're a lame person but evidently that man didn't.

OTOH, when you're a man and think you're lame, the world agrees with you.

 

[sammiechzxv]

Probably