My father lost his job again. Now all the financial responsibilities are on me again.

[gantaigarashi]

How the f*uck am I supposed to cope again with the fact I'll have to pay all the bills again for my family when I was planning CTB on June. F*ck F*ck F*ck me. Why the tf is this happening. (Taking care of parents is the norm in third world countries before someone says my parents should earn their own money)

My brother has medical issues and his meds cost a lot, I just paid part of his college fee, if I CTB he'll have to drop out and look out for jobs. I'll deprive him of his education.

My mother works so hard to feed us and take care of us. They'll be devastated if I leave them to fend for themselves. Fuck fuck fuck fuck. What should I do??

You know what made me the most saddest, before CTBing I was planning to blow all my remaining money on hookers. The fact that I can't do that anymore and will have to pay the bills for my family makes me feel like shit. I am so fucking selfish. Fuck. I am more sad that I can't blow money on hookers before taking SN. I am a terrible human who doesn't care about his mother and brother.

Should I just not give a fuck and blow all my money on hookers and take SN and leave my family to fend for themselves? I don't know what to do anymore. This world is giving me reasons to not let go. Fuck this world! Fuck me

 

[gantaigarashi]

I don't care anymore. I'm sorry I'm sorry but I think I'll be a selfish piece of shit and leave my family to fend for themselves from June onwards

 

[RosesFlourish]

I think you should hold onto the money for now. Today sounds very distressing. Take at least a good 48 hours to think this through. It sounds like you do care about your family. Maybe you can find pride in supporting your family

 

[Endisclose]

I am sorry you find yourself in this situation.. I'd second RosesFlourish.. Just give it a bit of time.. so that you can think about things with a cooler head..

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry you are in such a tough situation and you seem so desperate. Understandable. In the end it's your life and your decision and you want to leave for your own personal reasons. I assume your parents already knew that financials r a problem when they decided to pro-create and you're the one now who has to suffer from their decision, is annoying. Life is often so unfair.

Give it some time, I wouldn't waste the remaining money, I hope your father can find a job again. I hope you find peace with what ever you decide to do.

 

[gantaigarashi]

I think you should hold onto the money for now. Today sounds very distressing. Take at least a good 48 hours to think this through. It sounds like you do care about your family. Maybe you can find pride in supporting your family

I'm planning to CTB on 1st week of June. I don't think I'll be able to exit now. And you know what's the worst thing, I don't care about my family. It's more of a responsibility kind of thing, I still just want to waste money to satisfy my carnal desires instead of thinking about my family

I'm sorry you are in such a tough situation and you seem so desperate. Understandable. In the end it's your life and your decision and you want to leave for your own personal reasons. I assume your parents already knew that financials r a problem when they decided to pro-create and you're the one now who has to suffer from their decision, is annoying. Life is often so unfair.

Give it some time, I wouldn't waste the remaining money, I hope your father can find a job again. I hope you find peace with what ever you decide to do.

No, actually I grew up in a upper middle income family. My father blew all his money on failed businesses and alcoholism. I hate him for that. Now, he's old, I don't think he even knows how to do his job anymore because he's been fired so many times.

Yeah, I wasn't anyway going to CTB today. It's just that from June ownwards if I CTB, there'll be no one to support my family. I wish if I had studied hard and got a high paying job.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

I'm planning to CTB on 1st week of June. I don't think I'll be able to exit now. And you know what's the worst thing, I don't care about my family. It's more of a responsibility kind of thing, I still just want to waste money to satisfy my carnal desires instead of thinking about my family

Oh shit, that's around my fucking birthday, a day I don't want to live to see but anyway, it sounds like you're exhausted with having to keep up with all these obligations expected of you as being part of a family and even more so now that you have the means to ctb. I understand the desire to satiate your carnal desires as one last thing you want to do before its time.