Venting It pisses me off SO MUCH how my dad THINKS he knows everything about depression and bipolar, when he ACTUALLY doesn't know SHIT.

[ConfusedHurting2632]

He's basically the type to go: "Therapy is pointless. Meds are pointless. Just man up!"

In regards to depression, he literally says: "Just give yourself a lot of stuff to do! Work 2 jobs at once! Take several difficult courses at college at the same time, join multiple clubs! The more occupied and stressed out you are, the less time you have to think about your depression! And your depression will therefore be a thing of the past instantly!"

And in regards to bipolar, he literally says: "Just fucking control yourself! All because you don't feel good doesn't give you the right to go on a psychotic manic episode! Manic episodes can be prevented with a little bit of self control! It's all your fault, really!"

AND OH MY FUCKING GOD...JUST WRITING THIS IGNORANT SHIT FUCKING PAINS ME...

In general, I TRY to avoid people that are THIS stupid...BUT I'm unable to get a job or go to school for personal mental health reasons/mental disorders/illnesses, and I'm FORCED to stay with my dad and mom. So I literally CAN'T avoid his stupid speeches.

 

[untothedepths]

Yeah, sorry but your dad is more than stupid, he's boomer ignorant. I don't know how manageable your bipolar is but I know many people with it who do a lot better on medication. I honestly hate that "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" bullshit. It's the most braindead, single cell thing to say. Like yeah, of course I'd do all those things if I had the ability to do so. It's not like I have a brain/physc./on going situation to deal with right now. People who don't have issues really should shut the fuck up and just try to be there for others. It's not that hard, it's free, and the little bit of encouragement instead of flaccid "live laugh love" could actually be pivotal.

 

[NumbItAll]

Ah yes, nothing improves one's mental health like taking on as many stressful activities as possible.

 

[reclaimedbynature]

I'm so sorry you have to put up with this op, just reading this makes me so angry for you because I know what that's like. It's hard to make them understand.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Many boomers struggle to understand complex mental illness. It's the old adage of "your mind is bored" ie. that's what's causing your depression. And maybe that's true for certain cases of mild/simple depression in some people, but certainly not for anything like bipolar which has vastly different mechanisms and symptomology entirely.

To be fair, back in the day, they simply didn't have in-depth discussions on convoluted mental health stuff with broad scale sharing of information like we have now. So I think there's a certain level of envy mixed in there too. People who are older now didn't get to explore the kinds of things they may have grappled with when they were just coming up in the world. I suspect that's where a lot of the bootstrap mentality comes from.

 

[Thia]

He's basically the type to go: "Therapy is pointless. Meds are pointless. Just man up!"

In regards to depression, he literally says: "Just give yourself a lot of stuff to do! Work 2 jobs at once! Take several difficult courses at college at the same time, join multiple clubs! The more occupied and stressed out you are, the less time you have to think about your depression! And your depression will therefore be a thing of the past instantly!"

And in regards to bipolar, he literally says: "Just fucking control yourself! All because you don't feel good doesn't give you the right to go on a psychotic manic episode! Manic episodes can be prevented with a little bit of self control! It's all your fault, really!"

AND OH MY FUCKING GOD...JUST WRITING THIS IGNORANT SHIT FUCKING PAINS ME...

In general, I TRY to avoid people that are THIS stupid...BUT I'm unable to get a job or go to school for personal mental health reasons/mental disorders/illnesses, and I'm FORCED to stay with my dad and mom. So I literally CAN'T avoid his stupid speeches.

I'm sorry :(
My mom says the same thing, too. How I'm only depressed because I have time to think negative thoughts.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

My parents are like that too when it comes to my autism and my social anxiety

 

[ClaudeCTTE]

Unfortunately, the environment in which our parents grew up when they were young makes them have this 19th-20th-century mindset.

What you're saying reminds me a bit of my father.

My father often tells me somewhat similar things, but the difference is that he always speaks in a "relaxed" manner and doesn't try to be aggressive, although I feel that deep down he doesn't agree with some things I do.

He is anti-therapy, as he always told me that when he was young he had depression and went to a psychologist who never helped him, so now he believes that everyone is like that psychologist.

Another thing he tells me is that he believes the medications I take are useless and that I should take vitamins because according to him my brain "needs better blood circulation to feel good".

He also tells me that mental illnesses are just "labels" and that I don't have ADHD. I find it silly because he doesn't even consider that one of my brothers has Asperger's Syndrome.

He tells me so many things in a disorganized way that makes me suspect that he has ADHD.

On the other hand, he always starts talking to me about mystical or religious things, as if I were so naive to believe them. He always tells me that I am an insecure person, but that "God gave me leadership and I have to develop it".
Sometimes he tries to hypnotize me including religious things. Something like:

"Let's imagine our heavenly father. We're going to kneel before him and ask for a mind free of depression, anxiety, blah blah blah..."

Finally, I would like to emphasize that he always recommends me to read books about mental manipulation to manipulate people and use it to my advantage, because he says that's how I will succeed.
He tells me that the most powerful people in the world manipulate people to get where they are...

I wonder when he will be able to understand me...

 

[mossyfloor]

Your dad sounds like he is trying to force his own worldview on you. He won't be the last to attempt it, and if you can learn to ignore it now you will reap rewards in the future when it happens.

Other side of it is..he's not ENTIRELY wrong on all counts. The idea of working multiple jobs works - you become too busy to feel anything but "behind" all your tasks. That can lead to its own negative issues if left unchecked.

Isolation does wonders… disappearing and being self sufficient in isolation(say, in a national park, away from all signs of other people or society) has quantifiable positive effects on your psyche. Once you are self sufficient, other people's opinions and judgements of you seem to not be worth jack shit. Similar to how a rich person is truly uninterested in a get rich scheme, a self sufficient person is uninterested and aloof from criticism of the "fix yourself!!" variety.