Venting Nobody would care if i died

[sleeplessboyinbed]

It hurts me, honestly. I wish somebody cared about me. Mourned me, said "Im sorry it had to be like this, you didn't deserve it". I want somebody to cry over my death.
Im so selfish, i hate it... Im not worthy of empathy but i still desire it.
Another thing i hate is that im still alive. Im such a coward. But i can't bring myself to do it. I don't have the courage to die, or live. I wish one could die by bed rotting, that would be easier.

 

[Pvnie]

Yeah dying in bed would be fucking awesome, I sleep under my blankets, a habit I developed from having a wild imagination and seeing nonsense on the internet at a young age. I remember in the start of my depression I'd just lay under the blanket and close my eyes and ruminate.