Help Does my indecision means im not ready to die yet?

[sleeplessboyinbed]

I really want to die but i can't actually make myself do it. Don't know what to think anymore. Why am i having doubts? As long as i can remember, i only wanted one thing- death. Why does my mind change when it's already too late? Now death is my destiny, but im a coward. A lazy procrastinator. Why can't i just do it? Is it not my time yet? Or is it like "you'll never feel ready, so just do it"? I really wish somebody could give me an answer because i can't do this anymore. Everything is so heavy.

 

[Tired_birth_1967]

I really want to die but i can't actually make myself do it. Don't know what to think anymore. Why am i having doubts? As long as i can remember, i only wanted one thing- death. Why does my mind change when it's already too late? Now death is my destiny, but im a coward. A lazy procrastinator. Why can't i just do it? Is it not my time yet? Or is it like "you'll never feel ready, so just do it"? I really wish somebody could give me an answer because i can't do this anymore. Everything is so heavy.

I believe this is absolutely subjective. Each of us will act on it for reasons and feelings known only to ourselves. Living is a solitary experience, just as dying is. No one else can answer for you.

 

[ctb_warrior]

I really want to die but i can't actually make myself do it. Don't know what to think anymore. Why am i having doubts? As long as i can remember, i only wanted one thing- death. Why does my mind change when it's already too late? Now death is my destiny, but im a coward. A lazy procrastinator. Why can't i just do it? Is it not my time yet? Or is it like "you'll never feel ready, so just do it"? I really wish somebody could give me an answer because i can't do this anymore. Everything is so heavy.

Being someone who has some experience studying and experimenting with the mind, I can tell you the answer.
While one part of you wants to die, but there's another part of you, that wants you to live and that's causing you to procrastinate. Deep down, you really don't wanna die, it's just on the surface level.

 

[LotteEldana]

I think the part of you thats doubting could be your survival instinct. Its a tough thing to overcome.