What a fucking bullshit... The fucking pro lifers are really trying to make it impossible for us to ctb. This fucking sucks and it's so unfair, we all should have freedom to die if we simply want to (my case, Im not suffering at all and my life is 'great'/'good'/'perfect' and couldn't care any less) or we are suffering and 'have a reason' (not my case at all) for fucks sake. I can't buy SN anyways though but i know that many of you have intentions on buying it and the fact that it is in such a risk is scary. Damn why is existence/life obligatory? WHAT IF I SERIOUSLY JUST SIMPLY DONT WANT 'THIS' (NOR ANY OTHER THING AT ALL) AND JUST WANT TO NOT EXIST AT ALL AND NOT BE ANYTHING/ANYONE/ANYWHERE? what if someone (not me because it's not my case at all but it's the case of all of you) is suffering so much and in so much pain and misery that they can't take it anymore? Why continue making them suffer instead of letting them leave and be at peace? What the fuck I'll never understand this, i wish everyone was pro choice. It really makes me mad that the pro-lifers are really trying their hard to first get this site shut down and also making it harder and harder for us to find a relatively reliable and painless way to ctb. JUST LIKE PEOPLE HAVE RHE RIGHT TO LIVE WE ALSO SHOULD HAVE THE RIGHT TO DIE. THATS IT. THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH WANTING TO DIE. At least not for me lol to disappear and finally not be anything nor anyone nor anywhere at all is my dream. When the fck will pro-lifers or whatever the fck that is ewww, will understand this?!?! What if i simply just don't want to live/experience/do 'life' in general no matter how it is etc (nor any other thing at all)? Existence/life shouldn't be an obligation!!!! Why make it so hard to die? No one asked to be born, no one asked to exist, so what if I just don't fucking want to or I'm suffering*? I can't relate to the "suffering" because I'm not in any pain/suffering and literally nothing "bad" has ever happened to 'me'/'in my life' (and it wouldn't "worry"/"affect" 'me' at all if that was the case lol, I literally just don't care about anything and don't give any 'importance' to anything at all) and I've never had/don't have any type of 'problems'/'difficulties'/'issues'/'bad circumstances'/'bad experiences', so, but I know that all of you do suffer and all that and it's really unfair that the f*cking pro lifers (ewwww that word makes me even want to f*cking vomit) want to make it impossible for 'people' to die, it's really unfair for you to have to keep suffering and all that because the pro lifers will continue making it harder and harder to die. It's really a horrible for 'me' because I literally just don't want to 'live'/'do'/'experience' 'life'/'the world'/'planet earth' nor literally any other thing (and dont want to want anything at all) and simply just want nothingness, like eternal absolute nothingness. ''I dont only not want to 'be' 'here' (in 'life'/'the world'/'planet earth' blah blah, all 'these things and places' that 'we' were 'brought' to and that 'we' 'perceive') 'I' don't want to 'be' anywhere at all, anywhere else and I just don't care at all about 'life' nor 'the world' nor 'planet earth' nor literally anything at all from/about 'life'/'human life' (no matter how it is, no matter what way it is, no matter what happens and how the things that happen happen, no matter what 'perspective'/'point of view'/'opinion'/'position'/'concept'/'meaning'/'perception'/'understanding'/'interpretation'/'judgement' etc 'I' can have/give to it, no matter the "life standard" that it is established/designed/installed/programmed (ew i dont want to know the 'meaning' of any fcking 'words' but well it's to make those who read this more understandable or whatever tf 'understandable' means) no matter what it is about/how it works etc. I. Just. Don't. Care. At. All. And. Never. Will. And this really feels like a prison where you cannot escape because it's obligatory to experience it and it shouldn't be like that. I literally don't have any "problems", im not (and has never been) in any "bad situation" nor any other type of "negative" situation and has never had any "bad experiences" (I don't want to have any fucking type of experiences lol) and I'm not suffering at all in any ways about anything and so what? I literally just don't want to exist ffs. 'I' wish 'i' could finally not have to use/move/'take care of' any 'human body' or whatever a meat carcass/shell/vessel is nor 'mind'/'brain' or whatever tf that is and that 'i' was finally any 'I'/'me' at all, anything/anyone at all, anywhere at all. I don't want to be inside any fcking type of vessel/shell nor any other fcking thing ffs. No I dont say it "bEcAusE iT mAkeS mE sUffEr aNd bE iN paIn aNd iTs so eXhAusTing" nor any other 'reason' at all. No, a 'thing' called 'human body' 'I' was forced into doesn't make me "suffer" nor "be in pain" nor be "exhausted" nor any other thing/way, and I'm not "against" anyone nor anything nor any 'human body' blab blah, I just don't give a f about anything and just don't want to be inside anything nor be anything and just don't want to 'be'/'become'/'exist as' anything at all. I couldn't give any fucking less of a damn fck how its 'appearance'/'health'/'hygiene' is ffs lol but i have no choice but to force myself to "care about" it and 'take care of' it and all that crap and it sucks, but well if i didn't i'd be "suspicious", they'd assume im "depressed" and that something "bad" happens to 'me' and tHaTs wHy i dOnt tAkE cArE oF tHe bOdY (sigh why do 'i' yes or yes have to care about things, care about how 'something' 'is'/'looks like' and all that crap... it fcking sucks that it's obligatory and i don't give a shit about anything ItS bEcAuSe oF 'dEpResSiOn' iTs bEcAuSe oF a 'chEmIcAl iMbAlAnCe' and blah blah blah... Sigh. (i dont want to be inside any fucking thing in general ffs i just don't want to be anything. Why isn't this possible? If only i had to press on a button to finally disappear and finally be nothing nowhere... why can't i just not give a shit about/not want to give a shit about anything at all? i want a damn explanation for that.) don't give a fcking sht I wish i was nothing and that i In my case its not that I don't want "because of a reason" "because 'life' is this or that way" "because I'm 'depressed'", "because my life is 'bad' and 'painful' or whatever other "bad" way", "because this and this happens", "because the world is a 'bad place'", "because everything seems ''meaningless'' and ''pointless''" [or whatever that means lol i couldn't care any less if 'something'/'life'/'existence'/'the world'/'planet earth' or whatever other 'thing' in general is """meaningful""" or """meaningless""" or whatever that means. I don't give a sht. I don't want anything to have a 'value'/'meaning'/'purpose' or whatever tf that means lol] "because I feel ''empty''" [or whatever tf "empty" means lol no I'm not "empty" nor any other "way". I just don't care at all and DON'T want to care, that's different.] "because I 'hate' 'myself'" [or whatever tf "hate" means lol. I don't "hate" neither 'myself' nor anyone else, nor anything in general. I just DONT CARE, there's a difference. I neither "hate" nor "dislike" anything. I simply don't give a shit and everything is absolutely 'indifferent' to 'me' and will always be. I genuinely just don't want nor need nor care about nor have any fucking "interest" about anything at all and never will. But well obviously have to force myself to pretend that i do and all that crap to not be suspicious and to not make 'my parents' nor anyone else assume that 'Im' "depressed" and or that something "bad" happens to 'me' or whatever other 'reason' and forcedly take me to a psychiatrist/psychologist and all that crap and force me into 'meds' and 'therapy' and all that garbage that i will NEVER want nor need. So because I have no way out to nonexistence/nothingness/oblivion I have no choice but continue 'here' and continue pretending again and again that I'm "interested" and that I "care" and that I want to 'experience' 'life' and 'explore'/'see'/'discover' 'the world'/'planet earth' blah blah to not make anyone suspect and assume anything and it's so frustrating and exhausting. I literally just want nothingness, not 'this' nor any other thing that's not nothingness/non-existence. I just don't want to 'experience' 'life' nor be anywhere at all (not only in 'rhe world'/'planet earth', I don't want to be anywhere at all) and it sucks to see how each day it's getting harder to find a reliable/quick (at least reliable and quick, I don't even ask for a painless method anymore, but quick especially) and it's becoming harder and harder with the fucking pro lifers. I simply just don't want existence nor life nor any 'world' nor 'planet' nor any kind of 'experience' at all and there is no reason at all behind but well no matter how many times i try to explain it'll be always an assumption and i don't want to write/think any fucking thing/'word' at all ew I just don't. There is no "as a consequence of..." "X is the cause" "X thing is the 'reason' why, no. I just don't want anything and that's it. I have "good health" and I don't give a fcking shit, I have "healthy/functional body and brain/mind" and I couldn't care any less lol I don't want to have/be inside any 'human body'/'brain' of any type at all nor inside any other 'thing', I have 'good'/'great' 'life' and I don't give a fck neither, I 'have it all' and IDGAF, I have 'good'/'great' 'parents'/'family' and I couldn't give any less of a fck too, I'm allowed to 'do'/'be' "whatever I want"/"however I want" and 'live' 'my life'/'life' in general "the way I want to" and I don't give a f shit and 'live'/'have' the 'life'/'kind of life' 'i want' and literally any other "good thing" and I DON'T CARE, DONT GIVE A SHT. They want 'me' to be 'happy' and 'healthy' and other ""positive"" crap and i DON'T GIVE A SHT. I don't want to 'be'/'act'/'behave' any fcking way. I don't want anything at all I just dont ffs. (i don't want to experience anything from/about 'life' nor 'the world'/'planet earth' nor any other thing, I don't give a shit about anything about/from 'life'/'the world'/'planet earth' nor any other thing in general whatever/however it is. I don't want to have/live any 'life' of any 'type'/'kind'/'way' at all, I don't want to 'experience' any 'life' [if there were more, lol I hope not. I just want nothingness ffs, i guess sorry to those who want an 'afterlife', but I want eternal absolute nonexistence/nothingness. That's my wish/desire/dream/hope and I don't want literally ANYTHING else.] at all of any 'type'. not only I dont want to 'experience' 'this one', in the case 'this' 'thing' 'human beings' have called 'life' isn't the only one, which I hope it is the only one because I don't want any other kind of 'existence'/'consciousness' after I finally die. I don't want literally any 'life', any sort/type/way/kind of 'life' at all. I just don't sigh ill stop explaining soon bc anyways no matter how much/'well' i try to explain there will be assumptions but well idgaf actually, as long as you keep it to yourself instead of writing it to me. i really just dont fucking want to 'write'/'think' any fcking 'word' but anyways the consequence of this are gonna be assumptions lol please just ignore this post (i know it's long) because I know that if you quote it, it'll be an assumption. (*well the second one is not my case at all, literally nothing "bad" happens and I anyways just don't want to live 'life' at all no matter how it is and no matter what happens in 'the world'/'planet earth', how it is etcetc and just simply literally don't give a fuck about anything and have (never had and never will. And NO, it's NOT "depression" nor "apathy" nor "loss of interest" nor any other thing like that. I literally just don't care and have no "interest" about anything and I don't want to and never will, and I'm more than fine with that) absolutely no "interest" nor "curiosity" (and don't want to have it lol why do 'I' have to and if i don't iTs bEcAusE oF a ReAsOn? why is it an obligation? why can't I just not want anything at all and NEVER will want at all without it being because of a reason? that'll always be my question. Btw please don't answer anything to my post, itll be an assumption and really don't want to read it, thanks. What if I simply just don't want to exist ffs? In my case it's not that Im suffering, Im not suffering at all like in the case of all of you. I literally seriously just dont want any kind of 'existence'/'life'/'world'/'planet'/'consciousness'/'awareness/'entity' nor literally any other thing. Please no assumptions, ill have to ask the mods to delete this post in case it gets answers because all of them will be assumptions and i don't want to read any. Well sorry for deviating from the topic and writing such long text. It is really unfair that SN will become not as accessible as it still is now. And i can't buy it anyways, i dont want to have any fcking money nor job nor house at all ffs I don't want to have to wait who knows many years until i have the fucking house to be 'able' to ctb without interruptions/risks. I mean im not in any rush but i don't want to have to wait for idk how many years sigh...but that's the only way to buy sn without problems/risks and 'properly' and 'safely' ctb... Well, good luck to those who will buy sn anyways despite this happening, it will unfortunately become hardly accessible someday...