Help Need advice for "are you ok?"

[onewayroad]

A friend just asked me if I am ok, and was very genuine about it.

I could just tell them 'yes', but as a rule, I do not lie.

If I answer 'no', they will worry about me and want to try and help me, and they can't. It will just upset them. And they will feel even worse when I ctb.

If I ignore their message, they will know that I am not ok and may try to reach out to other friends of mine to do something about me.

At the moment I am leaning towards lying but I find that a very difficult thing to do and I will feel terrible for doing it. So I may just ignore the message and hope they let it go.

What have you done in similar situations?

 

[Mr2005]

Lie. I'm an honest person but they don't really want to know so I just grin and go on my way

 

[Circles]

One time a coworker I hardly knew came up to me and asked that and I just stood there and said 'Does it matter? Is anybody actually okay?' He never asked again.

 

[Mr2005]

Yeah I perhaps should just tell the truth and it will stop them asking

 

[Mr2005]

It's a different thing if it's someone making small talk or someone who actually cares

 

[hunter_lewis]

I never speak about my true thoughts and feelings because I feel that no one understands me and they react with horror and tell me that life is a precious gift, that I need to get help, that I still have a long life ahead and can't just give up, that the afterlife is not real etc. They don't really understand how I feel and that I simply don't want to live

 

[Anon1337]

Most people lie. It's awkward to say No and have to explain why.

 

[BaconCheeseburger]

I'm honest but laugh it off and downplay it. Usually concluded with a smile and another sip of whatever drink I have to hand.

 

[Nik]

"Still breathing" is my default.

 

[onewayroad]

Thanks everyone, I decided it was best to be honest and say that I am not ok but tell them that I was doing everything I could to help myself so they didn't have to worry. Which is the truth, I just didn't mention that the last way I am going to help myself is by closing the book...

 

[Schopenhauer]

I always lie. I don't think people are actually interested in how I'm doing.

 

[Shewaitsforme]

I get asked this literally so many times a day (im on a psych ward) i always aswer yes but in my head im screaming no otherwise i wouldnt be here would i. We ask people are they ok but any other responce than yes isnt what they are looking for

 

[onewayroad]

I get asked this literally so many times a day (im on a psych ward) i always aswer yes but in my head im screaming no otherwise i wouldnt be here would i. We ask people are they ok but any other responce than yes isnt what they are looking for

I worry about being trapped in such a place, I am so sorry you are there. I hope they let you out soon. What a stupid question to ask though. Are you ok? Yeah! I'm having the time of my life just like everyone else in here!

 

[Lifessucks]

The right answer is Yes.

 

[Made4TV]

There wasn't an option for "meh"
Truthfully I will sometimes say to people that I'm not doing great but will feel betterwhen things settle down. And I'm usually the only one who knows what that means to me. 99% of people don't ask further.

 

[Dead_Inside]

Just ignore the question. They asked you so they obviously already suspected ...
I learned my lesson already. No one cares how I feel. They just have guilty social feelings ... they "have to check" but they don't care.
I wont give the privilege of knowing me to any more of the people in my real life. They are cut off. I tell them what they want to hear or ignore their questions- and they play along and never ask a second time. So .... now I don't have fights or problems. I am just alone. But that's ok. It's where I really am - I cut through their BS and found my actual value.

 

[Lra888]

You can be honest without going into great detail. I often have things on my mind that are not shareable because it would risk being taken to a hospital again. I'm not going to lie and say everything is fine but I wouldn't tell anyone that I'm thinking of suicide unless I completely trusted them.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Yeah I perhaps should just tell the truth and it will stop them asking

Or you could get locked up. ;)

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I never speak about my true thoughts and feelings because I feel that no one understands me and they react with horror and tell me that life is a precious gift, that I need to get help, that I still have a long life ahead and can't just give up, that the afterlife is not real etc. They don't really understand how I feel and that I simply don't want to live

Most people will not understand … and say all that shit we don't need to hear. It won't change the mind of someone who truly wants to die.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Thanks everyone, I decided it was best to be honest and say that I am not ok but tell them that I was doing everything I could to help myself so they didn't have to worry. Which is the truth, I just didn't mention that the last way I am going to help myself is by closing the book...

That was a great reply. :) I just lie if someone ever asks if I'm ok. I don't get asked to much anyway. I can't wait until I close my book as well. :)

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I always lie. I don't think people are actually interested in how I'm doing.

Most people really don't care anyway and they will just say all the crap we don't need to hear.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

There wasn't an option for "meh"
Truthfully I will sometimes say to people that I'm not doing great but will feel betterwhen things settle down. And I'm usually the only one who knows what that means to me. 99% of people don't ask further.

That is a good reply also.

 

[RM5998]

"Still breathing" is my default.

My responses vary from "mostly alive ,unfortunately" to "96% dead". Usually said with a smile. Self-deprecating humor is the norm in what passes for my social circle, so I guess it doesn't attract attention because of that.

 

[deathoverlife]

A friend just asked me if I am ok, and was very genuine about it.

I could just tell them 'yes', but as a rule, I do not lie.

If I answer 'no', they will worry about me and want to try and help me, and they can't. It will just upset them. And they will feel even worse when I ctb.

If I ignore their message, they will know that I am not ok and may try to reach out to other friends of mine to do something about me.

At the moment I am leaning towards lying but I find that a very difficult thing to do and I will feel terrible for doing it. So I may just ignore the message and hope they let it go.

What have you done in similar situations?

can totally relate..Am trying hard to mask my true feelings and appear normal. its draining me and making me more miserable by eod..i know i have play this till the time i make my arrangements for my final exit..
these days my mobile is mostly on aeroplane mode..... am just on wifi...what's app is irritating with the groups and some constant messages... which i royally ignore... i respond to selected few with a very high response time.

 

[Roph]

"I'm fine. Thank you."

 

[Nofaith]

"I've been better" , "could be worse" or "up and down".

 

[CJM]

Sounds like a good friend

As for my reply, I'll say I'm fine, or change the subject, or say something like "just life stuff"

 

[GoingSoonish]

I have been "okay" ever since i made the decision to leave. So i reply "great".

 

[ParamitePie]

My throwaway line is "the usual" and people seem to take that as being fine. It's not like I'm lying and I haven't had anyone pry any deeper.