Sorry CassieHoward, what would you like to know? What can I possibly say or prove to you what I'm saying is genuine.
I finished work Tuesday afternoon, came home, fell asleep, there's a knock on my door at around 5pm. One of neighbours said the police visited me on Monday a similar time, but I spend a lot of time at my mother's who has dementia, so I wasn't there.
The officer pushed her way into my flat, saying I was under arrest for possesion of a controlled substance, made me sit on the bed while another officer conducted a search of my flat and found my N in the fridge, and put them in two seperate evidence bags. I thought they took my meto but just the bottles. (I've taken a pic of my N before they were confiscated if you want me to pm them to you)
I was booked in at Guildford police station, they made me remove my belt, chain, hand sanitiser, and a pen. I had to sign something about my rights on a screen and was asked if i wanted a copy of their code of practice and did I want a solicitor. I said no. (I wanted to get out quickly) I went to the cell where I had to remove my trainers outside. After 2 hours maybe, they said we need to take your biometrics which was conducted by police staff, They pressed and rolled my hands and fingers across a pad to take my prints, my photo in a booth and a swab from my mouth for dna (to cross reference it or something).
I went back to the cell and after awhile I asked if I could have a headache tablet, they said yes, but it will be handed to me by the duty medic.
I asked him if he knew why I was there and he mentioned the N. He said it's a proper old school drug and was I using it to help me sleep and I said no, I bought it to help me die. I told the poor guy my whole shit life story..it's really shit. I told him the last time I was arrested and taken to this station was in 2004 for rape! I was homeless at the time. I had nothing in my life but my local church. I was living in a temp room called a dispersed property where one day a CID and plain clothed officer arrested me at 7am for raping some poor girl multiple times. She apparnetly was raped by me over several months before she confided to her reverend at her local church..whcih just so happend to be my reverend at my local church. He told her to call the police, so she did and I was arrested. Long story short one of my homeless shitstain friends decided to pretend he was me! like wtf! had very rough sex with her before she snapped. He even gave her the address where I was staying. He was later arrested and the police apologised but my reverend never returned my calls.
I was running on pure survival mode and suicide wasnt on my mind at the time.
I told the medic Im linked with my local mental health team. I told my shrink every time I saw him, Im still suicidal and everytime he'd say then why are you still here talking to me. I told the medic, I live in a horrible bedsit, I have had no girlfriends or a partner, no children, no real friends and my mum is ill with dementia and I cant cope any more. My shrink has discharged me from care coordination and I have no where left to turn any more. I m 48 and tried everything and I'm tired and want to die. My last bit of hope to have some control over my life, the fucking police took.
Im telling you guys to be careful and Im now a liar.
somebody tell me what to do now, im lost, i cant even get an appointment to see my GP.