Obvious content warning for mentions of CSA.
So, the whole reason I actually decided to join this forum on a whim after being a long time lurker is actually this. The truth is, I fell in love with this man some months ago. I knew from the beginning he was into young girls (primary around the ages of 14-17, but I suspect he's sometimes into younger than that). However, he told me he's non-offending and would never want to abuse a child in that way. I believed him, of course.
To shorten up the story, he ended up using me for sex. He said he'd take care of me and it never happened. Even after two months post break up, I was still in love with him.
I ended up having a conversation with him about two days ago. I was telling him about how I wouldn't mind dating someone with an intellectual disability, but only if they're still relatively "functional," so that I'm not taking advantage of them. He basically follows it up by saying that he feels even those severely impaired can sometimes consent... Then mentions that he thinks his 12-year-old self could consent to relations with an adult because he apparently was
libidinous at that age. Needless to say, it freaked me the fuck out. I know it's pretty common for men to downplay CSA, but doing that while also being a self-admitted hebephile? What if he ends up meeting a young girl who's a nymphomaniac?
Needless to say, I had a string of panic attacks after that. I don't think it's a safe idea for him to be with other women. I'm infertile and very firm about remaining childless. Most women aren't like that. Most women want kids, and he's one of those "fence-sitters" who wants their significant other to make the decision to have kids or not for him. Needless to say, it's not very probable he'll meet another child-free woman. Just like how it isn't probable that he'll stay off a sex offender registry.
I don't know what to do. He doesn't want to be in a relationship with me, but it'd be better if he did, for his sake. I've tried working things out on multiple occasions, but he just sees me as a sex toy. This might sound insane, but I've even been considering using a love spell. I have no idea if it'll actually work, but... I'm just so scared.