- Oct 9, 2022
I love itttt!
YeahAre you still with us @pinkribbonscars ???
Yep, I got caught while engaging in some tell tale signs and sabotaged the whole thing.Sounds like you got yourself into a weird situation. Take things at your own pace and dont be pressured to live for anyone else. Its your life
I want to wish you well and I hope you find peace. You will be missed around hereGod damn it shit balls ⚾️
6 am alarm. I could not delete a time release suicide note email. I was in a pure panic when I couldn’t. What was gonna happen when he opened it?
Called me today, was gonna call the cops, was worried I was dead, and is now fucking pissed at me I’m alive and panicked him for no reason.
Things got sabotaged. Early Sunday morning I have to go now. I’m an idiot and I cannot live with myself for doing that to him. Why didn’t I think to message him to delete that email? Ugh what is wrong with me.
I was able to throw away and toss all other suicide notes luckily. But I’ll continue to post my progress on my journey here. Thanks for supporting me guys! You’re the best ❤️
I shut off my electric bill today, as I didn’t have time to do that before (as I thought I was going to ctb on weds morning, but that got ruined). It’s happening. It has to.
I know, I mourn this every time that I attempt. I want to die surrounded by people that care, but I can't because they'll intervene, so instead, I'm stuck dying alone."Committing suicide is so lonely because you want to say good bye or have people with you before you go but you can't because they'll involuntarily commit you otherwise"
Omg right? My moms neighbor is camping in a cabin outside of town solo and it’s his birthday and he invited me… he’s getting a cake, like would I be an asshole if I ctb right before his birthday when he wants to celebrate it with me?It seems like the universe really doesnt want you to go. ☀️ 🌧️
It will always feel weird to say good luck to someone planning to CTB but regardless of that... good luck and never forget.. no matter how deep you are into your plans, you can always abort them and try to get social/mental/health help from others. You dont HAVE to do it "just" because you put yourself in a troublesome Position due to CTB Plans. Everything can and will be sorted out.
I’m aware there are people who care about me in my life. In some ways I’m a lot luckier than many who ctb because they have no one. In my case that isn’t true. But I like to think because they care they would understand and be happy I’m no longer suffering. But I’m rethinking….I don't really know what to add here except that it seems that there are people around you who love and care about you and that seems like the best place for you to be right now.
I know that maybe that doesn't mean much and I feel so similar to you in so many ways when I read your posts. When shit gets really bad for me, I talk to a friend or spend some time at someone's house and suddenly I can make it through one more day. Not sure where I'm going after that, but sometimes surviving one more day is enough for me.
I wish maybe we had met in real life, you seem like such a wonderful person. Whatever you choose, know that there are people out there, even strangers, that care about you and are thinking about you. Even if you think that you have to go through this for whatever reason, that's okay. But if not? That's okay too. I'm sure you could stay at a friends' for a while until things get a bit better. Sending all the love to you ❤️
Yes no one understands. My mental illnesses are ultimately why I want to die and it should be no different than wanting to die from a terminal illness. It’s a long term battle and I’m tired of dealing with it. I wish I didn’t have to but it’s destroyed my life. I struggle to sleep, eat, take care of myself, it’s a sickness, idc what anyone saysBeing sick fucks up your life... no matter if it's depression, long-term anxiety, anhedonia, disability, etc.
Good wishes in whatever you do.
I’m so glad we have this site so we aren’t alone when we pass. ❤️In response to:
I know, I mourn this every time that I attempt. I want to die surrounded by people that care, but I can't because they'll intervene, so instead, I'm stuck dying alone.
I really don’t like those types of people who use suicide threats for attention/manipulation and I suppose I am worried I’ll be one of them if I change my mind lol.Theres nothing here to promise. Theres no thing as crying wolf in this context
Also im sorry about your situation. ):
It pains me so, I wish it weren’t this way. I can’t enjoy life anymore and I never chose that, so I’m doing what I gotta do.You know what you have to do, to make the pain go away 😌
This looks delicious...It pains me so, I wish it weren’t this way. I can’t enjoy life anymore and I never chose that, so I’m doing what I gotta do.
View attachment 119133
Idk if I’ll eat all of this but I don’t wanna pass out so lol. I was seeing spots so I need food, even if it’s not pleasurable anymore.
I used to love to cook and bake and try amazing food and I no longer do. If I can’t enjoy my passions what is the point