My friend and i made a promise but i wanna kill myself

[DragMeIntoPlace911]

I don't wanna break our promise but it's unbearable.. I never even thought of living for a few days

I don't wanna hurt her and I don't wanna live

What do I do?

 

[plskilme]

What was the promise? Out of curiosity.

 

[DragMeIntoPlace911]

What was the promise? Out of curiosity.

She wants me to live

I already planned my cbt and I don't wanna break our promise

 

[plskilme]

She wants me to live

I already planned my cbt and I don't wanna break our promise

I would try to keep your promise... for her... It would fuck her up mentally if you took your own life, and I imagine she would end up here some day potentially. I had a friend in high school that I saved from suicide and her almost dying fucked me up mentally. In 2024 she actually died in a motorcycle accident after turning her life around for the better. I miss her every single day. When she was alive, I could talk to her about my mental health, and she would help me with a lot. She took that shit super serious after almost OD'ing. I would just keep your promise to your friend. For her sake

 

[DragMeIntoPlace911]

I would try to keep your promise... for her... It would fuck her up mentally if you took your own life, and I imagine she would end up here some day potentially. I had a friend in high school that I saved from suicide and her almost dying fucked me up mentally. In 2024 she actually died in a motorcycle accident after turning her life around for the better. I miss her every single day. When she was alive, I could talk to her about my mental health, and she would help me with a lot. She took that shit super serious after almost OD'ing. I would just keep your promise to your friend. For her sake

I don't wanna live just because I promise, I'm dealing If i wanna kill myself and hurt her feelings, or stay alive and stay in severe agonizing pain for the rest of my life

I never asked for stay alive just because of someone's promise I already planned my suicide and on top of that I'm in unbearable pain, I don't wanna feel guilty

And I feel like I'm gonna be hated if I broke that promise and hurt her

 

[ardea]

your choices aren't just suffering forever or dying now. you can decide to spare her feelings for the time being without committing to never kill yourself. maybe you could resolve to wait a few months or a year, and at that point you can reevaluate? if you think of it as waiting a few months instead of waiting a lifetime it seems a lot more feasible, and suicide will never stop being an option.

 

[fadedghost]

i'm so sorry you're feeling so sad and terrible. this is a difficult situation. @ardea made some good points