Venting Making My Choice

[anchorsaweigh06]

Hi.

I'm just some random user on this forum who was planning on CTB on my 21st birthday. I pondered and procrastinated for the past several months, and I'm finally down to the wire. Nothing's set in stone yet, but I promised myself that if I don't do it today, I have to seek help and actively work to make my life better every single day afterwards. No going back, no quitting, just hard work and healing no matter what.

There are a few things I'd like to live to see and accomplish, but the idea of having to continue trudging through all the difficult days ahead is extremely daunting and seems near impossible. I hope I don't regret the whole "living" thing. It seems really hard. <24 hours to decide. I suppose I'll just…wait a few hours and see how I feel, I guess.

Birthdays are weird, huh?

 

[4Das]

I really wish you only the best!!
if you do end up ctbing I hope you can find peace and if you choose recovery I wish that everything will be fine, I wish that it helps you and you will live a life worth living!
stay strong, stranger!

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Good luck! Whatever you gonna decide to do

 

[NZkiwi]

i hope you can keep us updated

 

[infinitanocte]

Sending you love & peace!
I think the thing about living is that you don't always have to do it all at once. It's like taking a walk down a path—each step takes you a little farther, but no one expects you to sprint down the whole thing in one go (and if they did, that would be unreasonable).
The commitment you're considering is a pretty strong one. To work so hard at healing, remember you have to take care of yourself first. Don't push yourself too hard. Easy does it. Sometimes you might waver, and that's completely human.
Hope you don't mind I wrote more about the recovery side since you posted in the recovery topic. Either way, I wish you well, and happy birthday!! Hoping you get to do something fun or eat something tasty for your birthday :)