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littleearthquakes

littleearthquakes

Member
Apr 10, 2024
69
I am 38M, which seems to be older than a lot of people here.

My life took a downturn about eight years ago when schizophrenia manifested. Shortly thereafter, I developed a chronic headache called NDPH. It literally causes pain 24/7/365. It prevents work because of extreme sensitivity to sound. I also have autism and ADHD. The latter is not treatable due to psychosis. I have double vision, and due to botched strabismus surgeries it's permanent. I am left with chronic eye pain.

Schizophrenia is one of the worst mental illnesses that exist. From the studies I've read, even the bipolar people have better odds. Between the schizophrenia and ndph alone I am done with life. I do want to ctb, but I prefer to use a firearm and such method is unavailable to me at this time. I guess I'll probably resort to hanging or jumping instead.

I'm a big fan of rock and alternative music (Breaking Benjamin, Linkin Park, The Pretty Reckless) and can talk endlessly about sci-fi shows like Rick and Morty, The Orville, or Star Trek: Discovery. I spend a lot of time outdoors walking local lake trails. It keeps me grounded.

I like meaningful conversations, but I'm equally happy talking about random hobbies or music recommendations. If you think we'd vibe, feel free to send me a message, am always happy to make a new friend.
Hey I'm not able to DM but would be interested in connecting if you're able to message me somehow. There's more about me in a recent comment on here.
 
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takuyablackbox

takuyablackbox

[ should've been born a deer ]
Feb 19, 2025
30
posted here a couple months ago, just wanna do it again.

i'm 19m (turn 20 in nov) from the us, he/they, nd u can call me takuya/taku. i don't think i'll ctb soon. but my relationship with suicide has been fluctuating to peaks and lows since 2023, but i'm definitely at a peak now.

i don't do much, but i really like music and i love collecting cds and vinyls and i actually make and release my own musiccc. other than that i try to paint or skate or go to raves or urban explore. really have wanted to trainhop recently but im just not rdy to commit especially since i have a job 7-7. i also really enjoy inde jrpg/rpgmaker type games like yume nikki and song of saya! but i love meeting new ppl if u wanna talk about anything my inbox is open! i try to be on this website atleast once a day xp
 
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dissociation

dissociation

detached from reality
Aug 31, 2025
84
Does anyone want to be my friend?
 
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L

LIGHT00129

Member
Dec 21, 2021
5
Hi I am 20F, Living in the Uk. I have been passively suicidal for a few years, but I am still waiting for the right time to ctb. It would just be nice to have someone to talk to who knows how I really feel. No one knows how bad it is and it is so much easier for it to be kept this way but it does make me feel so lonely as no one really knows how I feel.

I only really read or play games.

If you'd like to talk please message :)
 
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PaxAmericaX

PaxAmericaX

Member
Sep 27, 2025
21
I am 52M in UK who has been here years ago under another username but left feeling I had gotten better. But it returned. I am currently at the end of a 4th week of sleeping on floor in bedroom all day and eating little. My ribs are showing and my energy levels dropped a lot. I have serious ideation thoughts but whether i would ever follow through is an unknown. I have tried hanging in past though not serious enough to succeed. I would love to chat to someone in similar place in UK but not in any way to encourage anything, just to share. Its pretty lonely right now
 
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Defatigatis

Defatigatis

Sincerely exhausted
Aug 16, 2022
17
I'm a 20 year old man from Brazil
I'm looking for someone local to talk to about various topics: games, anime, maybe philosophy, our reasons for CTB, etc.

I really like Hack and slash games, I think you can tell because I use Clive's picture from FFXVI xd.

Existence is quite unbearable for me, but I try to cling to sensory pleasures, beings that are special to me, and the faint hope of a better tomorrow to try to continue existing. Right now, I don't plan CTB yet. /////

Sou um homem de 20 anos e moro no Brasil
Procuro alguém local para conversar sobre vários assuntos: jogos, animes, talvez filosofia, nossos motivos para CTB, etc.

Gosto muito de jogos Hack and slash (acho que dá pra perceber porque uso a foto do Clive de FFXVI xd) e no momento, estou bem fissurado com o subgênero musou.

A existência é insuportável para mim, mas tento me apegar aos prazeres sensoriais, a seres que são especiais para mim e à tênue esperança de um amanhã melhor para tentar continuar existindo. No momento, não pretendo CTB ainda.
 
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endoftheroad45

Member
Sep 27, 2025
28
33 m in Australia. Feel free to shoot me a dm. Open to chat on other platforms too if that is more your speed. Im open to talk about anything you'd like, I play video games if you wanna talk about that, politics, anything. If you just want someone who will listen ill do that too.
 
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forevertheproblem

New Member
Sep 28, 2025
2
27m
As much as I appreciate the existence of this forum I find it tad ironic. Anyway, what I like to do: watching films (I have a Letterboxd account that I update frequently); reading: I have been reading a lot of PKD lately. Authors whose works I admire greatly are PKD, Fitzgerald, Hemingway, Steinbeck; chess; working out; meditation, animals: if I survive I wish to help them in some capacity. Along with these I have been writing a lot recently, mostly to untangle the mess in my head. That being said you could argue that my presence here is an instance of the avoidance of the Jungian shadow, where I am seeking company because my 'true self' makes me uncomfortable. Having no depth in Carl Jung's theories what I could tell you is that even though I crave company, companionship and aim to foster meaningful relationships, I go to great lengths to hurt those who are with me. I recognise where I am going wrong but that is simply not enough as the toxic pattern is a maze I cannot get out of. Thank you for reading.
 
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D

DashofPepper

New Member
Aug 4, 2025
1
Hi, I'm Pepper, I'm 23mtf from the uk, I've been depressed for like the past 5 years and had a failed attempt earlier this year. idrk what im doing on here, i just feel really lonely a lot of the time. I play mtg and like reading fantasy, feel free to message me.
 
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Slimprofessional010

Slimprofessional010

Member
Jul 29, 2025
45
Hi, I'm looking for friends, anyone to be honest. I'm 19 and like to chill at home, play video games, like anime, and just chill. That's about it. I kinda talk a lot, so there's that. I also respond fast because I got nothing better to do and like chatting. Can't wait to get to know you.
 
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iset

iset

Member
Nov 28, 2024
29
Hey-o! I'm a 22-year-old guy from Austria and I'm (once again) looking to make connections.

I've recently undergone a pretty significant IRL shift due to the necessity of having to move for university. This move has cut me off physically from my only IRL friend, and I'd like to find some new people to chat with – perhaps also call, and, if someone from Austria happens to be here, maybe meet up. Of course, that would mean some serious getting-to-know-each-other beforehand, and also much hoping that we're not from opposite ends of the country. It's also something that's more of a goal to aspire as I'm pretty socially anxious, but I've been working on that (a lot).

As for my interests, I like to read and write. Mostly fantasy, but there's no genre I can't enjoy. My favourite books are the Witcher Saga from Andrzej Sapkowski. I also enjoy Nabokov's prose, and I guess Stephen King's a no-brainer. I've also always wanted to play DnD, but I've never had the friends for that. As for what I'm about to study – medicine. So yeah, that's obviously another area of interest.

All in all, I'm just feeling very...cut-off. I've never lived as independently as I do now (though it's not entirely independent). I've never been this far away from my home town, which is good and also bad. Different reasons. I've been dealing with social anxiety and depression for years now. Though, I'm not too fond of phrasing it like that – I've never been officially diagnosed. I don't have the money, etc., etc. Still, I'm pretty certain I'm not laying it on too thick; I have plenty of SH and a suicide attempt behind me. You know, if that's the kind of stuff you'd like to chat about – I'm up for it.

I guess that's me oversharing from the get-go. Also, no preference in terms of age or gender. Because I've seen others mention it: Politically, I'm very left-leaning and accepting of LGBTQIA+, all gender identities, lifestyles, etc. Of course, I'd love to meet someone who's also from Austria so that we could potentially meet up at some point, but that's not a must. So, if you'd like to get to know each other – hit me up :)
Hey, suchst du noch wen zum Schreiben? Bin auch aus AT :) Liebe Grüße
 
amomentspeace

amomentspeace

Student
Mar 2, 2025
153
Hi im 21m in europe, i'm lonely
My interests are video games, maths/physics, programming and philosophy/politics and finance. I really like firearms. I'm finishing my master's in software engineering (fintech) and one day I hope I can make a video game that people enjoy, I can yap all day about nerdy stuff, guns and games. I like breakcore. You get a point if you noticed my username is a reference to dark souls 1, another point if you recognize my pfp :D
 
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bpd.mess

Member
Sep 27, 2025
15
I'm looking for some people to chat with. I think I'll be sticking around for a while, so it'd be nice to make some friends. I'm a 22 year old female. My mental health has affected most of the hobbies I used to enjoy, but I still find things like philosophy and true crime intriguing. Also, I love cats. I'm at a lonely and lost point right now, so feel free to send me a message!
 
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Xiaojiu

Xiaojiu

Wizard
Mar 28, 2025
611
Hi! I've posted here before but not much success.

I'm 32F and live in LA, CA.

I'm chronically ill and disabled with chronic pain 24/7. I am mostly homebound and spend a lot of time in bed watching Chinese dramas, anime, shows, and movies. And also listen to audiobooks. I enjoy drinking loose leaf tea and boba. I also love nature, trees, and mountains. And when my pains aren't so bad, I like to go outside.

Looking for a friend (preferably woman or LGBTQ) who is in their late 20's, in their 30's, or older than me. Someone to talk to would be nice since I don't have much connections IRL anymore. Thank you
 
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