Lost my years of perfect physical health to depression. What is it gonna be when I'm older?

[LunarLight]

I'm 25 and I've been depressed since I was 10. Accomplished almost nothing in my life because of that. My life has been completely ruined by depression. I've missed out so much. And for the moment, I'm not even suffering from physical illnesses, except for obesity at a push (but it doesn't cause me pain, at least for the moment...).
I'm so afraid of ageing. I'm so afraid of physical pain making me even more miserable than I already am. Makes me want to CTB even more. Mental illnesses already make me bedridden, and it can only get worse.

Anybody else feel the same?

 

[penguinl0v3s]

Mental illness gives you aches and pains that go away if you recover from them. In my experience with anxiety disorders, if your anxiety goes away the chest pain goes away. Your body is not physically damaged forever.

 

[LunarLight]

Mental illness gives you aches and pains that go away if you recover from them. In my experience with anxiety disorders, if your anxiety goes away the chest pain goes away. Your body is not physically damaged forever.

Yeah for sure, but I'm rather talking about physical pain due to ageing. For example, cancer, or any other crippling physical condition.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Cancer and a host of other maladies are a fact of aging, at least for a lot of people. But, you're only 25. Chances are you wouldn't have to deal with all the aging related stuff for a good long number of years. Maybe diabetes since you say you're overweight. But, I have to agree with you that aging, and all of the health ailments that it brings, completely sucks.

 

[Hollowman]

I'm almost twice your age, things get worse.

 

[LunarLight]

Cancer and a host of other maladies are a fact of aging, at least for a lot of people. But, you're only 25. Chances are you wouldn't have to deal with all the aging related stuff for a good long number of years. Maybe diabetes since you say you're overweight. But, I have to agree with you that aging, and all of the health ailments that it brings, completely sucks.

Yeah, but I mean, my life is already hell without all the ageing-related stuff. I have no perspective of getting better. It makes me so, so mad that I couldn't do anything for years because of depression while I was in perfect physical health. So many wasted years...

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Yeah, but I mean, my life is already hell without all the ageing-related stuff. I have no perspective of getting better. It makes me so, so mad that I couldn't do anything for years because of depression while I was in perfect physical health. So many wasted years...

Life is a lot of suffering in varying degrees that *usually* gets worse as we age, no doubt about it. So many things are simply out of our control. I'm sorry you have so many regrets.

 

[penguinl0v3s]

Yeah, but I mean, my life is already hell without all the ageing-related stuff. I have no perspective of getting better. It makes me so, so mad that I couldn't do anything for years because of depression while I was in perfect physical health. So many wasted years...

The good thing about mental health is that it can age backwards even, so long as you are able to adapt to it, learning to handle mental health issues will make you a more mature person. And usually you get wiser as you age, so your mental health issues will naturally improve.

 

[J&L383]

 

[Ash]

I'd love to have my 25 year old body back. Make friends with it while you've got one that can literally bounce back. Weight doesn't matter. It's strong and powerful and so are you.

(ETA I'm aware of how horribly patronising I sound. It's one of the few privileges of owning a middle aged body.)

 

[LunarLight]

The good thing about mental health is that it can age backwards even, so long as you are able to adapt to it, learning to handle mental health issues will make you a more mature person. And usually you get wiser as you age, so your mental health issues will naturally improve.

Idk, I've been mentally ill for almost 16 years and that's been only downhill from there.

 

[penguinl0v3s]

Idk, I've been mentally ill for almost 16 years and that's been only downhill from there.

I honestly think I've gotten better at dealing with my mental illness. The problem is that as I get older, the problems I have increase in seriousness. As a kid the struggle was with grades, which ultimately didn't matter that much. As an adult, the problem is with having food and shelter and the ability to not die from starvation.

 

[LunarLight]

I'd love to have my 25 year old body back. Make friends with it while you've got one that can literally bounce back. Weight doesn't matter. It's strong and powerful and so are you.

(ETA I'm aware of how horribly patronising I sound. It's one of the few privileges of owning a middle aged body.)

That's exactly what I'm pointing out. My 25 year-old-body could offer me so much possibilities. And yet I'm bedridden because my brain fucking sucks.

I honestly think I've gotten better at dealing with my mental illness. The problem is that as I get older, the problems I have increase in seriousness. As a kid the struggle was with grades, which ultimately didn't matter that much. As an adult, the problem is with having food and shelter and the ability to not die from starvation.

Yeah, that's pretty much it. Problems have gotten worse. Now I feel worn out. As though I couldn't fight anymore.
I won't make it through.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I certainly don't understand why they expect suicidal ideation to fade as you get older, especially if you have dealt with it from a very young age. Oh, so you're supposed to grow less suicidal as you get uglier, feebler, more alienated, and more socially irrelevant?